I have been coveting a large, glass bowl that usually lives in cardiac rehab downstairs. Those of you know me well and know my love of all things for entertaining and cooking are not surprised by my love for an object like this, however this is not just a normal clunky bowl. This particular bowl goes to live in the department that wins the quarterly customer satisfaction award. We send out a survey to a randomly selected group of patients and get compared to all the other outpatient departments that the hospital has. We keep getting really great scores but are edged out repeatedly by cardiac rehab.
It makes me nuts that we keep losing because the patients in cardiac rehab have just had a near death experience, are generally just happy to be alive, will do ANYTHING to avoid having another heart attack, and are just there to exercise in a pain-free process, drink coffee with their pals(because almost all of them are retired) and never get kicked to the curb because they can just keep coming forever as long as they pay $30 a month. My patients are generally in pain, have not had a life altering experience (read: not nearly as impressed with me and laid back in their approach) and think I have some sort of a magic wand that should heal them instead of hard work, sweat, swearing, and occasionally blood. They either get better super fast or stop getting better all together at which point we have to kick them out against their will generally. I wonder who would get the better satisfaction scores?
I digress. Needless to say the bowl has been something I have wanted since setting foot in Self Regional Healthcare nearly 2 years ago. I had basically given up hope and it had become a running joke between my boss and myself. We had discussed stealing it from cardiac rehab and holding it for ransom, actually beating up the cardiac rehab patients while dressed like cardiac rehab employees, and keying cars in the cardiac rehab parking lot...none seemed like a good, adult way of handling the situation. Then all the sudden last week I get a text from my boss that says "we won the bowl". Any normal person would find that odd, but it was the lilting voice of sweet triumph and "nanny nanny boo boo".
The bowl is usually presented at a big, quarterly meeting of all the managers and administration but as luck would have it(or wouldn't have it), they called off the meeting due to our layoffs and basically just chucked the bowl at my boss at the administration meeting. She told them we were going to take it to the local bar and fill it with beer...like the Stanley Cup. Everyone chuckled at how funny we were, but they don't get what we have been through to get the bowl. I won't get into all of it, but it has been a "pull yourself up by the bootstrap and dust off because there is a lot more shit to do before the sun goes down" kind of situation for sometime for us and there really isn't any light yet. This comes at a great time for us and I am really happy for everyone that works with me because it was a super effort under non-ideal circumstances.
So just know that late one evening, when the moon is high in the South Carolina sky, there is a high possibility that the shiny bowl may go missing ...and a high possibility there might be an incognito gathering at the Worcester's with the world's biggest margarita and a whole crap ton of bendy straws!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Holy Freaking Tornado Batman...
There was tornado craziness last weekend. Friday night there were huge storms. There were a bunch of us at the second floor apartment dying Easter eggs when the sirens started going off. I was the only one who knew anything about tornados so I became the expert. It was interesting to see people from the Northeast react/freak out completely at something that was a part of my normal life growing up.
I went to work the next day and the hospital got a TON of damage. No damage to the structure, but we had some HUGE trees that got uprooted. That was something I hadn't seen before. THe root balls were huge and the trees were just shoved over. I took some pics with my phone and will try to put them on here so you can see. Bizarre that I have had just as many close brushes with tornados here in the past 2 years as I would have at home...
PS: Tree in above photo is the root ball I am fake pushing over below..
Triathlon Season Officially On!
So this is the first installment of the summer triathlon season. Yep, Jake and I will be back out there punishing ourselves in the name of sport and fitness for fun. This season's first tri for Jake and myself was right in our backyard...literally. It was kind of an entire weekend deal as there was a kid's tri on Saturday that Jake and I volunteered with and then we competed today.
The kid's tri was totally hysterical. It was for ages 4-12 of kids and there were everything from kids as big as me to tiny bikes with flames and training wheels. It was set up exactly like a "big person tri", but the bikes couldn't reach the rack and a couple of them couldn't tie their own shoes. They swam two lengths of the pool, changed their clothes, rode their bike for 3 miles, then ran a mile. It was the funniest thing ever. The littlest ones were the best because they were totally clueless. The meat of my job was to make sure everyone got their shoes on, helmet on frontwards, pointed their bike the right direction and then made it back to go out for the run. Those little guys were totally disoriented when coming out of the pool. I stopped one kid from taking off on his bike without a helmet, shoes, or a shirt. I was also informed by a four year old that "I can do it myself" as he refused help and jammed his foot into his socks backwards for the fifth time. His parents totally cracked up and said that was average behavior. My other favorite "average kid behavior" came after the tri. The kid ran across the finish line, snarfed down 2 bananas an orange and a whole thing of gatorade then started running around like crazy. His mom said "how about you come sit down for a sec?" The kid said that he was fine, kept running around, then promptly vomited copiously everywhere. Did I mention this one had a mohawk and was 12... Neat.
The adult tri was this morning. Jake and I were able to ride our bikes to the start which was fun. I also got to use my new and fantastically awesome backpack and red flashing "don't hit me light". DORK O RIFFIC! I also had some great new goggles and had added earplugs to the repetorie to keep the water out of my ears and I was set! Let the fun begin. HEY-O!
The swim was not too bad. It was short which is always good, but it was cold outside of the pool for sure when we got out. They chlorinate the SNOT out of the YMCA pool so I smelled like I was sweating bleach during the bike and run. I was out of the pool in just over 6 minutes which was what I wanted. The bike was COLD...maybe becasue I was wearing a tank top and bike shorts that were wet and it was 53 degrees outside...and I was riding a bike 18 mph. I got through that in around 41 minutes. The run was my best EVER in a triathlon at 30 minutes and 9 seconds...crappy 9 seconds. All together my time was 1:21.09. It was fun because that was good enough for 2nd place in my age group! Yeah! The bag that was the prize is pretty non-crappy too so that is fun.
The best part is that we then went to IHOP for breakfast. It is kind of a tradition with Jake and I...a really delicious one. Tonight we are going to go see a movie and dinner with some pals. Not a bad weekend!
The kid's tri was totally hysterical. It was for ages 4-12 of kids and there were everything from kids as big as me to tiny bikes with flames and training wheels. It was set up exactly like a "big person tri", but the bikes couldn't reach the rack and a couple of them couldn't tie their own shoes. They swam two lengths of the pool, changed their clothes, rode their bike for 3 miles, then ran a mile. It was the funniest thing ever. The littlest ones were the best because they were totally clueless. The meat of my job was to make sure everyone got their shoes on, helmet on frontwards, pointed their bike the right direction and then made it back to go out for the run. Those little guys were totally disoriented when coming out of the pool. I stopped one kid from taking off on his bike without a helmet, shoes, or a shirt. I was also informed by a four year old that "I can do it myself" as he refused help and jammed his foot into his socks backwards for the fifth time. His parents totally cracked up and said that was average behavior. My other favorite "average kid behavior" came after the tri. The kid ran across the finish line, snarfed down 2 bananas an orange and a whole thing of gatorade then started running around like crazy. His mom said "how about you come sit down for a sec?" The kid said that he was fine, kept running around, then promptly vomited copiously everywhere. Did I mention this one had a mohawk and was 12... Neat.
The adult tri was this morning. Jake and I were able to ride our bikes to the start which was fun. I also got to use my new and fantastically awesome backpack and red flashing "don't hit me light". DORK O RIFFIC! I also had some great new goggles and had added earplugs to the repetorie to keep the water out of my ears and I was set! Let the fun begin. HEY-O!
The swim was not too bad. It was short which is always good, but it was cold outside of the pool for sure when we got out. They chlorinate the SNOT out of the YMCA pool so I smelled like I was sweating bleach during the bike and run. I was out of the pool in just over 6 minutes which was what I wanted. The bike was COLD...maybe becasue I was wearing a tank top and bike shorts that were wet and it was 53 degrees outside...and I was riding a bike 18 mph. I got through that in around 41 minutes. The run was my best EVER in a triathlon at 30 minutes and 9 seconds...crappy 9 seconds. All together my time was 1:21.09. It was fun because that was good enough for 2nd place in my age group! Yeah! The bag that was the prize is pretty non-crappy too so that is fun.
The best part is that we then went to IHOP for breakfast. It is kind of a tradition with Jake and I...a really delicious one. Tonight we are going to go see a movie and dinner with some pals. Not a bad weekend!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
March in the Rearview Mirror
So March got away from me pretty badly. So here is my attempt to update.
Work got complicated this month. The economy slowing down was rough on this area, which tends to struggle a little anyway. We ended up needing to layoff around 200 people. I didn't have to lay off anyone that works directly for me, but we are down 3 support staff which is going to be a real challenge. They did a great job taking care of odds and ends for us that were really time consuming activities (that I hate) like faxing, filing, and calling offices. We are going to have to make some changes and be more efficient (a word I am starting to hate) with our time, but I know it won't adversely effect our patients. Just another good life challenge.
My self defense class is wrapping up this next week and it has been a really fun experience. I will just suggest that no one sneaks up on me anymore...unless you want to see what $75 buys you in the way of self defense education. Which leads me to the story about how I got my first black eye. Yep, I was a 30 year old, professional woman with a purple eye that made me resemble "Sloth" from the Goonies movie. My patients loved it. They love the idea of me undergoing any sort of pain or torture. They really feel like it is the their way of vicariously getting their revenge on me through the universe for the 90 bar squats I made them do the day before. Anyway, I was wrestling Jake for the clicker to the TV (yes, wrestling because Jake is smarter than me with words and he always wins the argument regardless of the topic) and hearkened back to my self defense training and jabbed him in the ribs something serious, at which point he yanked his head back and nailed me right in the right eye. It was not awesome...or it was. Depends on what team you are cheering for.
Ike was sporting some sort of rash on his stomach for the past week or two so I had Jake take him to the vet. I thought he was just allergic to something so I had been feeding him Benedryll. But the Benedryll wasn't phasing it. Turns out the "rash" was actually a staph infection on his stomach and we were just bad pet owners. The staph wasn't just staph though. The "rash" was recurrent from every time he went to the dog camp when we went out of town. So the vet runs a thyroid test and sees that he actually has hypothyroidism that is repressing his immune system allowing him to pick up all sort of bacteria that is usually not harmful. The vet assured us that the anti-biotic will clear up the rash, and that the thyroxine will manage his thyroid levels..and should help "perk him up". Apparently he has been lethargic. That scares me. So now I have to feed him four pills a day for the next two weeks...which shouldn't be a big deal but now he is suddenly very observant. He can spot a lump in a piece of cheese, a glimmer of blue in a chunk of peanut butter and is heavily scrutinizing everything that is going into his mouth for the first time in his life. Someone told me to just shove it in his mouth, hold his mouth closed and blow in his face...that would lead to my next black eye very quickly. Whoever came up with that idea does not have an 85 pound dog that is overly paranoid and freakishly strong.
So there is my little update. I am headed over to a co-workers to help her put her garden together. I enjoy a little manual labor when I can start and quit whenever I want. Awesome!
Work got complicated this month. The economy slowing down was rough on this area, which tends to struggle a little anyway. We ended up needing to layoff around 200 people. I didn't have to lay off anyone that works directly for me, but we are down 3 support staff which is going to be a real challenge. They did a great job taking care of odds and ends for us that were really time consuming activities (that I hate) like faxing, filing, and calling offices. We are going to have to make some changes and be more efficient (a word I am starting to hate) with our time, but I know it won't adversely effect our patients. Just another good life challenge.
My self defense class is wrapping up this next week and it has been a really fun experience. I will just suggest that no one sneaks up on me anymore...unless you want to see what $75 buys you in the way of self defense education. Which leads me to the story about how I got my first black eye. Yep, I was a 30 year old, professional woman with a purple eye that made me resemble "Sloth" from the Goonies movie. My patients loved it. They love the idea of me undergoing any sort of pain or torture. They really feel like it is the their way of vicariously getting their revenge on me through the universe for the 90 bar squats I made them do the day before. Anyway, I was wrestling Jake for the clicker to the TV (yes, wrestling because Jake is smarter than me with words and he always wins the argument regardless of the topic) and hearkened back to my self defense training and jabbed him in the ribs something serious, at which point he yanked his head back and nailed me right in the right eye. It was not awesome...or it was. Depends on what team you are cheering for.
Ike was sporting some sort of rash on his stomach for the past week or two so I had Jake take him to the vet. I thought he was just allergic to something so I had been feeding him Benedryll. But the Benedryll wasn't phasing it. Turns out the "rash" was actually a staph infection on his stomach and we were just bad pet owners. The staph wasn't just staph though. The "rash" was recurrent from every time he went to the dog camp when we went out of town. So the vet runs a thyroid test and sees that he actually has hypothyroidism that is repressing his immune system allowing him to pick up all sort of bacteria that is usually not harmful. The vet assured us that the anti-biotic will clear up the rash, and that the thyroxine will manage his thyroid levels..and should help "perk him up". Apparently he has been lethargic. That scares me. So now I have to feed him four pills a day for the next two weeks...which shouldn't be a big deal but now he is suddenly very observant. He can spot a lump in a piece of cheese, a glimmer of blue in a chunk of peanut butter and is heavily scrutinizing everything that is going into his mouth for the first time in his life. Someone told me to just shove it in his mouth, hold his mouth closed and blow in his face...that would lead to my next black eye very quickly. Whoever came up with that idea does not have an 85 pound dog that is overly paranoid and freakishly strong.
So there is my little update. I am headed over to a co-workers to help her put her garden together. I enjoy a little manual labor when I can start and quit whenever I want. Awesome!
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