1. Alligators
2. Freshwater sharks
3. Giant man-eating fish
4. Pumps that will suck you in
5. Snakes
6. Lake water poisoning- or any number of other maladies seen only on the Discovery Health channel.
Jake has informed me that #1-5 are ridiculous, and #6 would not be a problem as long as I stop trying to drink the lake water while swimming. We practiced swimming in the lake yesterday and it went better. Ike practiced swimming too, and that was way funnier.
Jake deserves some sort of medal for being married to such a headcase...however I am pretty sure I deserve a medal at times for being married to him so we will call it even.
On a completely other note, I am currently watching the NCAA lacrosse tournament on this Saturday afternoon (while my husband went to watch the new terminator movie with another dude whose wife wouldn't go either). It is really interesting and fantastic sport. Baseball, football, soccer all mixed together. Wonderful.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Boo, Yeah, YEAH, YEAHHH!
The alarm went off at 4:30 yesterday morning dragging Jake and my weary hind ends out of our very warm bed. It would have been really nice to sleep some more, especially for Jake since he has just gotten back to G-wood after being gone 19 of the past 21 days. Yuck. But who could stay in bed when it is Clemson Triathlon Day? That would just be foolishness!
I was super excited to do this triathlon since they give out really cool shirts....hehehehe, no not really but maybe a little, but because we get to hang out with our really fun triathlon friend that lives by Clemson ("Crazy T" we will call her. She will love that.) and we had heard that this race course was pretty fun.
Crazy T is actually a very mild mannered, calm on the outside, well adjusted, mother of two cute little kids...who could be the second most competitive person I know. There is a switch that flips in her head at the beginning of a race and she gets super competitive. She would try to win anything she signed up for..or anything I sign up for. She was one of the folks we met in Asheville at our first triathlon last year and now we drag each other on fun adventures and try to beat one another at races. I kick the poop out of her on the bike, then she passes me on the run to beat me at the tail end of the race usually. AAARRGGHH. Crazy T is an awesome runner but develops the craziest wheeze you have ever heard in your life when she is running. I can hear her catching me from about 50 feet back. I always feel like she maybe dying and need CPR, but then she passes me. Harumph. We have been on a number of ridiculous undertakings together: she was the person behind me on the bike during my run in with Buddy (see last post) and the person who kept me from drowning during the wetsuit incident. She and Jake take turns talking me out of quitting triathlon right before each race, when I always think it may actually be a better idea if I sit in the car or go pick up breakfast for everyone and meet them at the finish instead of actually competing myself. Crazy T only has time to train over her lunch time and a little on the weekends and still manages to be pretty dang good.
Anyway, the reason she is getting so much explanation is that T is the only reason I finished the Clemson triathlon. My open water swimming (lake) is not good. I am not exaggerating. See prior post about wetsuit as an example. During my pre-race freak out, she and Jake were telling me I would be fine, etc but left out the fact that it would be the furthest open water swim I had ever done (350 meters longer)...or the longest swim of ANY sort I have ever done. T and I are in the same wave so we get to stand on the beach and watch Jake go together. During that time we are watching people get hauled back to shore by the kayaks when they decide they cannot complete the swim (so they quit the swim and forfeit the rest of the race). T starts talking about how that is ridiculous and weak minded it is to quit, and how she would brutally pummel and quit being friends with anyone she knew that ever quit during the swim (I know I am exaggerating, but that is what my mind heard).
BOO-So we waded out into the opaque water and started our swim. T has been working on hers and is super fast in the water now. Pretty soon I had lost her and was on my own. I was doing okay, maybe a little anxious but keeping it together when I got run over by another swimmer. It was not enjoyable and I swallowed a bunch of lake water and did the choking thing, and then I freaked out a little. I was at least 200 meters straight off of the shore and seriously thinking about getting one of those guys in the kayak to come and drag me back in when T's verbal beach berating started ringing in my water filled ears. I decided that I could get help if I needed it, but if I was wanting to ride my bike (my favorite part) I would need to finish the damn swim. So, it ended up that I breast stroked most of the swim with my head out of the water and goggles on my forehead, occasionally throwing some freestyle in when I didn't feel like I was drowning and feeling about a millisecond away from quitting. I have never been happier to feel ankle deep mud in my life when I hit the shore. Primary problem with my swimming trainwreck is that swimming the breast stroke with your head out of water (not to mention the breast stroke) is not fast and uses up your legs big time, which makes the rest of the race a lot harder. My bike and run would be twice as hard as if I had managed to swim a consistent, efficient freestyle the whole way. Amazingly enough, I beat some of the people that were in my wave (20 minutes for 750 m swim with uphill run at the end). Holy crap. In retrospect, I can't decide if I gave up or overcame. I feel like I let my mind get the best of me, but I was definitely NOT prepared for the swim from a training perspective anyway so maybe I overcame a little too...Let's call it a wash.
Yeah- Now I have to fly on the bike because I am determined to make up time. I about keeled over on the bike several times initially trying to get myself back together. My heart rate was really high, my legs were screaming, and there were a couple really nasty hills right off of the bat. I pulled it together, caught a bunch of people and finally was enjoying the scenery by the end. I never caught T though. So I knew she was going to beat me this one. Yuck. I biked the 11 miles in 36 minutes (not bad) and was ready for the run.
YEAH-The run is usually the worst for me when we are doing pool swims. However, since I tried to drown in the lake I decided the run was no longer my worst activity! The run was nasty because it was downhill initially (which was nice) but then had a SICK uphill to get to the entrance to a trail we ran on. I was not looking at my watch at all after the swim figuring it was going to make me nuts the whole time if I knew how far off pace I had gotten so I just ran as hard as I could. My major goal this year was to get under 30 minutes in the 5K, but with the swim, having to mash it out on the bike to catch up, and nasty run, I figured that was over for this particular tri as well. The race actually was fun. I ended up in a back and forth with another girl I usually compete with from my division. I had beaten her out of placing several times and she was tired of it, so she kept passing me. We chit chatted for a minute before the final time she passed me, and she was talking about how she thought she and I were in it for 2nd and 3rd in our division. I had already decided there would be no way I was placing at this one and would be lucky just to finish...so all the sudden I got a little excited. I didn't know if I would have the gas left in my legs to pass her back at the end, so I just kept her close. I also got passed by another g-wood resident who I see at a lot of tri events. She is 53 but in great shape, and we go back and forth as well beating one another, so I had quite a bit going on at this point! I decided I probably can't catch my g-wood pal, but I am going to get the other girl. I waited until we got within 50 yards of the finish, turned on what was left, passed my division competition and almost caught my g-wood competition. My g-wood friend is great. She immediately starts yelling at me about how I could have caught her if I had tried a little harder. It was funny.
YEAH!- So I ended up getting second in my division again! Better yet, Jake was checking all of the actual times and saw that I ran under 30 minutes for my 5K! Yeah, hurrah! Pretty cool considering how not well the day started out! I guess I would consider it overcoming in the swim as I really had to get past my mind in the bike and run with way higher effforts and heartrates that I am used to and was able to achieve a couple cool things. The first place girl in my division (who is at all the races I am) beat my by 5 minutes...that's a lot, but we will see as the season goes on. Big thanks to my friend for guilting me into finishing the swim...weird motivation, probably not what they tell you to do in a book, but it worked well enough!
I was super excited to do this triathlon since they give out really cool shirts....hehehehe, no not really but maybe a little, but because we get to hang out with our really fun triathlon friend that lives by Clemson ("Crazy T" we will call her. She will love that.) and we had heard that this race course was pretty fun.
Crazy T is actually a very mild mannered, calm on the outside, well adjusted, mother of two cute little kids...who could be the second most competitive person I know. There is a switch that flips in her head at the beginning of a race and she gets super competitive. She would try to win anything she signed up for..or anything I sign up for. She was one of the folks we met in Asheville at our first triathlon last year and now we drag each other on fun adventures and try to beat one another at races. I kick the poop out of her on the bike, then she passes me on the run to beat me at the tail end of the race usually. AAARRGGHH. Crazy T is an awesome runner but develops the craziest wheeze you have ever heard in your life when she is running. I can hear her catching me from about 50 feet back. I always feel like she maybe dying and need CPR, but then she passes me. Harumph. We have been on a number of ridiculous undertakings together: she was the person behind me on the bike during my run in with Buddy (see last post) and the person who kept me from drowning during the wetsuit incident. She and Jake take turns talking me out of quitting triathlon right before each race, when I always think it may actually be a better idea if I sit in the car or go pick up breakfast for everyone and meet them at the finish instead of actually competing myself. Crazy T only has time to train over her lunch time and a little on the weekends and still manages to be pretty dang good.
Anyway, the reason she is getting so much explanation is that T is the only reason I finished the Clemson triathlon. My open water swimming (lake) is not good. I am not exaggerating. See prior post about wetsuit as an example. During my pre-race freak out, she and Jake were telling me I would be fine, etc but left out the fact that it would be the furthest open water swim I had ever done (350 meters longer)...or the longest swim of ANY sort I have ever done. T and I are in the same wave so we get to stand on the beach and watch Jake go together. During that time we are watching people get hauled back to shore by the kayaks when they decide they cannot complete the swim (so they quit the swim and forfeit the rest of the race). T starts talking about how that is ridiculous and weak minded it is to quit, and how she would brutally pummel and quit being friends with anyone she knew that ever quit during the swim (I know I am exaggerating, but that is what my mind heard).
BOO-So we waded out into the opaque water and started our swim. T has been working on hers and is super fast in the water now. Pretty soon I had lost her and was on my own. I was doing okay, maybe a little anxious but keeping it together when I got run over by another swimmer. It was not enjoyable and I swallowed a bunch of lake water and did the choking thing, and then I freaked out a little. I was at least 200 meters straight off of the shore and seriously thinking about getting one of those guys in the kayak to come and drag me back in when T's verbal beach berating started ringing in my water filled ears. I decided that I could get help if I needed it, but if I was wanting to ride my bike (my favorite part) I would need to finish the damn swim. So, it ended up that I breast stroked most of the swim with my head out of the water and goggles on my forehead, occasionally throwing some freestyle in when I didn't feel like I was drowning and feeling about a millisecond away from quitting. I have never been happier to feel ankle deep mud in my life when I hit the shore. Primary problem with my swimming trainwreck is that swimming the breast stroke with your head out of water (not to mention the breast stroke) is not fast and uses up your legs big time, which makes the rest of the race a lot harder. My bike and run would be twice as hard as if I had managed to swim a consistent, efficient freestyle the whole way. Amazingly enough, I beat some of the people that were in my wave (20 minutes for 750 m swim with uphill run at the end). Holy crap. In retrospect, I can't decide if I gave up or overcame. I feel like I let my mind get the best of me, but I was definitely NOT prepared for the swim from a training perspective anyway so maybe I overcame a little too...Let's call it a wash.
Yeah- Now I have to fly on the bike because I am determined to make up time. I about keeled over on the bike several times initially trying to get myself back together. My heart rate was really high, my legs were screaming, and there were a couple really nasty hills right off of the bat. I pulled it together, caught a bunch of people and finally was enjoying the scenery by the end. I never caught T though. So I knew she was going to beat me this one. Yuck. I biked the 11 miles in 36 minutes (not bad) and was ready for the run.
YEAH-The run is usually the worst for me when we are doing pool swims. However, since I tried to drown in the lake I decided the run was no longer my worst activity! The run was nasty because it was downhill initially (which was nice) but then had a SICK uphill to get to the entrance to a trail we ran on. I was not looking at my watch at all after the swim figuring it was going to make me nuts the whole time if I knew how far off pace I had gotten so I just ran as hard as I could. My major goal this year was to get under 30 minutes in the 5K, but with the swim, having to mash it out on the bike to catch up, and nasty run, I figured that was over for this particular tri as well. The race actually was fun. I ended up in a back and forth with another girl I usually compete with from my division. I had beaten her out of placing several times and she was tired of it, so she kept passing me. We chit chatted for a minute before the final time she passed me, and she was talking about how she thought she and I were in it for 2nd and 3rd in our division. I had already decided there would be no way I was placing at this one and would be lucky just to finish...so all the sudden I got a little excited. I didn't know if I would have the gas left in my legs to pass her back at the end, so I just kept her close. I also got passed by another g-wood resident who I see at a lot of tri events. She is 53 but in great shape, and we go back and forth as well beating one another, so I had quite a bit going on at this point! I decided I probably can't catch my g-wood pal, but I am going to get the other girl. I waited until we got within 50 yards of the finish, turned on what was left, passed my division competition and almost caught my g-wood competition. My g-wood friend is great. She immediately starts yelling at me about how I could have caught her if I had tried a little harder. It was funny.
YEAH!- So I ended up getting second in my division again! Better yet, Jake was checking all of the actual times and saw that I ran under 30 minutes for my 5K! Yeah, hurrah! Pretty cool considering how not well the day started out! I guess I would consider it overcoming in the swim as I really had to get past my mind in the bike and run with way higher effforts and heartrates that I am used to and was able to achieve a couple cool things. The first place girl in my division (who is at all the races I am) beat my by 5 minutes...that's a lot, but we will see as the season goes on. Big thanks to my friend for guilting me into finishing the swim...weird motivation, probably not what they tell you to do in a book, but it worked well enough!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Always Behind
I have started to post 3 separate times and never finished a one because I have no attention span and spend all of my free time running around like crazy for no reason. Since it has been a while there will be bullet points, short stories and the run on sentences I seem to love so much!
1. Tornadoes- It has been Kansas-riffic here with a little South Carolina twist. Last week we had sirens FOUR days in a row, which was completed with the cherry on the top of a midnight siren. That's enough to make you poop your footy pajamas as you are alone and fumbling for the tv remote in the pitch black to figure out if you are really going to die in your second story apartment or not. I don't know why they waste money on sirens because no one has a damn basement to go to anyway, and no one from Greenwood appears very worried about the tornado situation. The sirens are also accompanied by a bizarro voice explaining what they are and why they are going off. It is comical if it wasn't terrifying. They definitely didn't send the weather people to Merle Teller's storm chaser school because they have a super itchy trigger finger with the siren. They will sound the siren even if the tornado is 20 miles away and moving AWAY from Greenwood. It's sad because our traveling therapists from Massachusetts are totally freaked out. They have only had one tornado in their lifetime and it wiped out a whole town...needless to say they get a little jumpy when they hear thunder. I am the resident expert in tornadoes here since I am from Kansas so that is pretty funny. I hate to tell them that this is a little much even for me.
2. Buddy- "Buddy" is the name of a bulldog that tried to pull me off of my bicycle while I was minding my own business and trying to eat a granola bar a few weeks ago. We were riding in the foothills near the NC border on a really great little bike ride, zipping along when we passed some folks working in their yard. All the sudden out of nowhere this little crumbsnatcher starts to chase me and tries to bite my foot (which is snapped into the pedal and can't move..) so I assume my very best "pack leader/Cesar Milan" voice from the Dog Whisperer and start yelling "No Buddy No!" just using "Buddy" as a generic dog name while I tried to keep my feet away from his grimy little jaws. Turns out the little bastards name WAS Buddy in real life because that is what the obese lady was yelling as she was chasing the Buddy/Hilary/bike/deathtrain down the road. I couldn't help myself and turned around and yelled "You have got to be f'ing kidding me that your dog's name is Buddy" while the little turd was still snapping at my pedal. At which point my friend behind me almost wrecked her bike of laughter. Not sure how the story transferred from being there into writing, but it was pretty funny to watch I was told.
3. Wetsuits are for Fools- I attempted to swim in a wetsuit last week. It was a disaster. The idea would be that it gives you a little more buoyancy and keeps you warm while you are swimming out in the lakes for triathlons. You can only wear them if it's below 74 degrees in the water and they take a little longer to take off, but I have been told it is worth it.
Getting the thing on is totally ridiculous. There is apparently a whole YouTube video devoted to how to properly put on a wetsuit. It take a video to figure it out for Pete's sake. It's not an attractive process either. I tried to tell Jake that I thought mine was too small when I held it up and it looked like it would fit one of the Olsen twins, but he said it was supposed to be tight. There is all sorts of trying to cram your butt into it and then all sorts of crotch pulling to try and get the thing where it goes...like trying to put 15 pounds of stuff into a 10 pound sack. Later, after the whole fiasco was over with, Jake decided that it was probably a size too small which would explain most of the problem. Lucky I married him since he is so smart.
Swimming in the lake is scary. I had only done it one time before, and it was during a race, so I really didn't think about it at the time. You can always touch the bottom in the pool and take a break whenever you want. During the race there is always a kayak nearby you can grab onto if you need to get your life together. Without it, I can see how people can panic and drown. I managed to be wearing a too small wetsuit while attempting to swim, which made it hard to breathe and caused a minor panic attack in the lake. I then had to unzip the wetsuit and swim with it half on and half off back to shore. I was really not thrilled with the situation. PS: Unzipping the wetsuit completely defeats the buoyancy situation and it like swimming with a 10 pound sack of nails around your waist...there was a lot of thrashing and swearing. We finally got out and I poured the gallon of water, fish and turtles out of my wetsuit while everyone else has just a tiny trickle coming out of theirs. Magicalness of Hilary strikes again.
1. Tornadoes- It has been Kansas-riffic here with a little South Carolina twist. Last week we had sirens FOUR days in a row, which was completed with the cherry on the top of a midnight siren. That's enough to make you poop your footy pajamas as you are alone and fumbling for the tv remote in the pitch black to figure out if you are really going to die in your second story apartment or not. I don't know why they waste money on sirens because no one has a damn basement to go to anyway, and no one from Greenwood appears very worried about the tornado situation. The sirens are also accompanied by a bizarro voice explaining what they are and why they are going off. It is comical if it wasn't terrifying. They definitely didn't send the weather people to Merle Teller's storm chaser school because they have a super itchy trigger finger with the siren. They will sound the siren even if the tornado is 20 miles away and moving AWAY from Greenwood. It's sad because our traveling therapists from Massachusetts are totally freaked out. They have only had one tornado in their lifetime and it wiped out a whole town...needless to say they get a little jumpy when they hear thunder. I am the resident expert in tornadoes here since I am from Kansas so that is pretty funny. I hate to tell them that this is a little much even for me.
2. Buddy- "Buddy" is the name of a bulldog that tried to pull me off of my bicycle while I was minding my own business and trying to eat a granola bar a few weeks ago. We were riding in the foothills near the NC border on a really great little bike ride, zipping along when we passed some folks working in their yard. All the sudden out of nowhere this little crumbsnatcher starts to chase me and tries to bite my foot (which is snapped into the pedal and can't move..) so I assume my very best "pack leader/Cesar Milan" voice from the Dog Whisperer and start yelling "No Buddy No!" just using "Buddy" as a generic dog name while I tried to keep my feet away from his grimy little jaws. Turns out the little bastards name WAS Buddy in real life because that is what the obese lady was yelling as she was chasing the Buddy/Hilary/bike/deathtrain down the road. I couldn't help myself and turned around and yelled "You have got to be f'ing kidding me that your dog's name is Buddy" while the little turd was still snapping at my pedal. At which point my friend behind me almost wrecked her bike of laughter. Not sure how the story transferred from being there into writing, but it was pretty funny to watch I was told.
3. Wetsuits are for Fools- I attempted to swim in a wetsuit last week. It was a disaster. The idea would be that it gives you a little more buoyancy and keeps you warm while you are swimming out in the lakes for triathlons. You can only wear them if it's below 74 degrees in the water and they take a little longer to take off, but I have been told it is worth it.
Getting the thing on is totally ridiculous. There is apparently a whole YouTube video devoted to how to properly put on a wetsuit. It take a video to figure it out for Pete's sake. It's not an attractive process either. I tried to tell Jake that I thought mine was too small when I held it up and it looked like it would fit one of the Olsen twins, but he said it was supposed to be tight. There is all sorts of trying to cram your butt into it and then all sorts of crotch pulling to try and get the thing where it goes...like trying to put 15 pounds of stuff into a 10 pound sack. Later, after the whole fiasco was over with, Jake decided that it was probably a size too small which would explain most of the problem. Lucky I married him since he is so smart.
Swimming in the lake is scary. I had only done it one time before, and it was during a race, so I really didn't think about it at the time. You can always touch the bottom in the pool and take a break whenever you want. During the race there is always a kayak nearby you can grab onto if you need to get your life together. Without it, I can see how people can panic and drown. I managed to be wearing a too small wetsuit while attempting to swim, which made it hard to breathe and caused a minor panic attack in the lake. I then had to unzip the wetsuit and swim with it half on and half off back to shore. I was really not thrilled with the situation. PS: Unzipping the wetsuit completely defeats the buoyancy situation and it like swimming with a 10 pound sack of nails around your waist...there was a lot of thrashing and swearing. We finally got out and I poured the gallon of water, fish and turtles out of my wetsuit while everyone else has just a tiny trickle coming out of theirs. Magicalness of Hilary strikes again.
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