The Awesomeness of NetFlix

Netflix is very solid. It is one of those things were you send away for movies and they show up in your mailbox, then you watch them and put them back in your mailbox. It is a little like magic. However, the list must be constantly monitored to ensure that Jake does not make all of the decisions or I will end up with all the Rocky, Rambo, and Star Wars movies they will allow us to have...oh and anything with Ronald Reagan (you would really be surprised at how many movies there are with good old Ronny).. and it will occur during a week when he is out of town and I could be watching something entertaining and mindless (my favorite genre).

The best part is that it prevents me from having to go to the nastiest Hollywood video ever. It would not be the flagship store for sure. I am pretty sure corporate has not been here since the grand opening. There is not a lot of competition for videos here in G-wood and they have figured out that the market is cornered so they can pretty much get away with anything. It is not that they are rude (as one employee nicely held the door open for me while they were smoking from inside) or unfriendly (as two of them were nice enough to speak at a tremendously loud volume about a really unattractive store incident so that I could participate in the story) as just generally rank and unsavory. The store smells like what I would imagine the inside of a nose smells like (maybe the underside of a toenail) and they are always out of everything except Tyler Perry movies and HBO specials.

Anyway, can't even remember what caused me to write this. The "what the inside of a nose must smell like" made me laugh so hard I forgot my train of thought. Oh well. Anyway, I guess I should close by saying that I am thankful for this brilliant service as it was that Netflix that helped several other people confirm that I have a soul last weekend by sending me a movie that caused me to cry for 1.75 hours for "entertainment" in front of 2 really surprised folks. I am fixing the list so that it is only full of ridiculous crap.

Out of Gas..For Real

The southeastern portion of the United States is out of gas...seriously. It is very weird. Apparently we are on a totally different supply chain than you lucky Kansas folks and ours was all torn up by the 5 hurricanes that have hit in the Gulf. At first it was just people being stupid and causing problems (which I think still might be part of the problem) but now we are actually out of gas all over the place. It is very odd to try and plan where you are going based on the possibility that there might not be any gas to get you home with. We were going to go to Greenville for a 5K and to return some pants this weekend but decided it wasn't really a necessary trip and thought we would wait until we had other reasons to go. I realize that a lot of folks cannot afford the gas to do things, but it is completely different than there just not being any gas. Bizarre.

Funky

It is rainy, about 70 degrees and a beautiful time to lie around and do nothing. I have my last triathlon of the season in two weeks but I have no desire to get off of the couch. ZERO.

I should get off of the couch because I ate my weight in Peanut Butter M&M's today. It was awesomely delicious but somewhat nauseating.

This is all really about khaki pants though...let's not try to hide it. I am currently wearing a pair of pants that I bought my first year out of PT school (more than 5 years) because I have been unable to find additional pants that I like and then intermittently give up on looking out of frustration and spite. These are my favorite pants. They are too big. That is a fact. They are kinda ratty around the bottom. That is a fact. They have a small hole in them at the base of the pocket on one side because that is where the spare button sewn to the inside of the pocket wore through them. That is a fact.

I tried to buy 2 new pairs of khakis this week. I went the mall in Greenville and tried them all on. All too short. But then all the store people snooker me into ordering them online in "Tall". Now, those of you that are short will agree. Those of you that are "regular" are stupid, and I will stomp you will my size 11.5 feet and grab you with my really long arms. "Tall" does not mean that the pants are longer in the leg, no, no. It means that they are also longer in the rise...which I will refer to as "crotch" because it makes me laugh more and the jokes are funnier that way. The regular sized person in the store tells me that I need pants that are "Long" not "Tall" but no one makes those in regular khakis. I can't do all of my crazy job requirements in nice pants, they just get ruined or ripped or get bodily fluids on them. I am seriously going to have to get janitors pants in some sort of a men's size just so it is functional. I digress. Anyway, when I buy pants that are "Tall" and extra long in the rise I develop a near fatal disease called "Captain Long Crotch" which is a terribly disfiguring disease where the pants come up too high on my waist, get all gappy in the back, the crotch sags down to mid thigh and the pockets stick out like I am stuffed into them like a sausage despite the fact the pants are entirely too big. What an awesome deal! I am hot! That is why it is fatal...because I want to jump from a high building when I see my reflection.

So that was one pair of the "perfect" pants the folks helped me order. The second pair was my own fault. I assumed since the had the same name (why do styles of pants get people's names at some stores?) they would fit the same as the pants I already had and liked of the same name. Following? I even called up the company and quizzed the girl about what size I should order. Up or down? She assured me they would be fantastic. So I eagerly tear open the box and attempt to put them on. Did they send me a child's pants? Did I order from a leprechaun store? AAAAARRRGGHH! Jake then walks in the room and laughs because it looks like I stole the pants from a 10 year old, they were so tiny...but ironically EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER PANTS.

So I quit. I got up this morning and ironed my "Crappiest Pants In the World" and proudly wore them to work...with my trail running shoes and some sort of belt that you thread through two half circles that I mess up sometimes (Nikki just had a stroke). That will teach society. Make it too hard and this is what you get.

Luckily they are too big because there was extra room for M&M's...Bitsy loves M&M's...

World's Craziest Sandwich

Not usually blog worthy, but seriously I had the best sandwich today. It almost killed me.

Get this. Focaccia bread, jerk chicken breast, jalapenos, pineapple, mozzarella cheese all melty on top, chipolte aolia. Not just a few jalapenos, a million. I was breathing fire but could not stop eating it because it was so good. I thought I was being a wimp until Jake tried some of it and started sweating... MMMM, delicious.

"And that's were I got this fanny pack."

I forgot to write about our last triathlon. I am totally shocked I forgot because it was my best one yet! This one will be shorter than my other descriptions so no worries...you won't need any extra food or clothes nearby to get through this one!

Jake and I decided on the spur of the moment to do the Laurens YMCA Sprint Triathlon last weekend. The other triathlons were chosen way in advance so I had plenty of time to get caught up in my own head and become a mental case. This one we decided to do on Thursday for a Saturday race. We chose it because it was nearby and in it's first year so we thought that it would be pretty easy and not too crowded (only 45 entrants..12 women). We didn't even do our normal work of driving the bike and run courses to see what we were up against. We were just going to be relaxed to see what happened.

We got our stuff together and got up there around 6:00 a.m. Put the bikes up, put our junk out, registered, etc. It was pretty well organized for the first year. But then people just kept showing up. And not just random people, people with pointy aerodynamic helmets and really expensive bikes, and people we knew were people that did triathlons for money. Harumph. So this totally overwhelmed all of the volunteers. There was no space on the bike racks so people had their $5,000 bikes stuck in the bushes and leaning up against the building..no one got really rattled about it so it was good.

The actual race was pretty great. I swam super fast in the pool (under 6:30) somehow which is good because it is fast, but bad because it can mean you end up having nothing left for the bike and the run.
Oh well. I ran out and jumped on my bike. That went a lot faster than usual, so I was worried I had forgotten to put on my shoes or something...but I was fully clothed and on the road. Once again I am pedalling my trusty 400 pound mountain bike and depressing people with good bikes by passing them. I also started yelling "GO MOUNTAIN BIKER" at everyone I saw riding a mountain bike. I think I counted 4 of them. I beat them all by about 100 years. I was pedaling my bike too fast too, so I was pretty sure I would die on the run. I was right.

I managed to get off my bike without falling into any bushes and took off on the run. Like I said earlier, we didn't drive any of the courses so imagine my surprise when I turned the corner to get onto the run course and it was STRAIGHT UP. I am not even kidding. I ran uphill for 1.5 miles, then downhill for 1.7 miles. It was freaking brutal. The worst part is that at all of these races the finish line is situated at the top of a hill...GOOD GOD...I just ran 3 miles, take some pity on me and put it at the bottom of the hill. I was trying to run the 5K in under 30 minutes but missed it by 1 minute and 58 seconds. Everyone else said it was stupid hard too.

We headed home to relax and stopped at IHOP for brunch. I don't often get hungry for IHOP, but it was totally delicious. The lady thought we had really bad tattoos...they were our shoulder numbers from the race. It was funny.

Even funnier was the next day at work when I walked in and found a bright blue fanny pack on my desk. Apparently I had managed to win second place in my age division (what?) and someone had picked up my prize for me (we always leave early because we never win anything) and given it to one of my co-workers. The best part was that the person who beat me in my age group was a near professional racer from the triathlon store in Greenville. She beat me by 20 minutes, was 1st place overall for the women, and was running the run course (straight uphill) for a cool down after she was finished with the race as I was coming down the hill. She almost lapped me. It was funny.

I am now a proud owner of a fanny pack. It is the medal of my only individual success I have ever had in a sporting event in my life...and I can't wear it anywhere. That is totally my life.

Hurricane

In 3rd grade I remember having the section on weather and developing the ability to compare and contrast tornadoes and hurricanes. Pretty straight forward really you think. Both are bad weather and destructive, both in their own different and special ways. I will have to say that now having lived in hot spots for both, their differences are way more intricate than just cyclones over land vs. cyclones over water.

Tornadoes strike quickly with little notice and there seems to be a lot of luck associated with what gets wiped out and what doesn't. There is lots of severe devastation over short areas (per individual tornado) and the time of danger is usually relatively short. You don't have much time to think about what to do, you just do it. It is sudden, life threatening stress, but the threat is over pretty quickly and you can get down to cleaning up. We know very little about tornadoes and really struggle to understand and predict them.

Hurricanes give you days of notice and 15 different predicted paths. They even have a name..that is creepy to me. (PS: All this talk of hurricane Ike is making my dog nuts. He keeps hearing his name on TV, stands up and looks around expecting a treat or command.) Once you see it is actually heading you way you have to do all sorts of fun stuff. Boarding up your house, sandbagging, etc, all of which takes forever but may save your home. These things are fruitless against a tornado. If a tornado decides your house is gone, it just is. There is nothing you can do about it. With a hurricane you have days of weather that is relentless and widespread. Hanna is causing rain from North Carolina to DC right now, and is expected to ultimately make it all the way to New York City. You are also making one million different decisions once you realize it is coming your way. Do you evacuate and leave your home? What do you pack? Where are you headed and how long are you gone?

Life and death in a basement for 2 minutes I can handle. You have no control over what happens and there are no decisions to be made. Days worth of stress and decisions over what to do would ruin me. These folks along the coast live in some of the most beautiful places in the country, but with that comes a lot of extra mental cost.