Just Say "NO" to Cowboy Pinball

So, this is a post I started a month ago or so and forgot about finishing it. The story is worth telling though.

If anyone ever walks up to you and says: "Hey there, I will give you $100 if you will play cowboy pinball with me", just walk away...or maybe run.

Bull riding came to Greenwood the week before Thanksgiving. It was totally worth the $10 price of admission. We went with a bunch of friends that knew little to nothing about rodeo. That was fun for sure. They are all from New England and really were freaked out by the whole thing. The most bizarre things happened between the go-rounds when there were "halftime activities". Different than the half-court shot, but basically the same ideas:

1. "Fill up your pants with change" game- I don't know what the actual name is, but the idea is that the clowns have a giant wheelbarrow filled with $1,000 in change and the contestant gets to keep all of the change that can fit in their pants. So ends up that the lady that got picked is very attractive with quite snugly fitting pants...clowns came out of the woodwork to help load up her jeans. She allegedly had ONE minute, but they let it go on pretty long because she was jumping up and down excessively and what bunch of rodeo clowns don't want to watch a hot chick jump up and down?

2. "Cowboy Pinball"- This one is a dozy. Jake and I had never actually seen it, but had heard about it from last year's rodeo. The clowns drew 30 circles made of flour in the arena, took 30 of the craziest people you have ever met, and let them stand in the circles while they released a bull into the arena. The bull then runs around the arena scaring/pushing/ snotting on people pushing them out of their circles. The idea is whoever is the last person still in their circle wins.

This is all made more interesting by the fact that one of the traveling therapists decided to take part. Dave. Dave is awesome. He is a big dude from New York with a backwards Notre Dame hat and a totally great attitude about life. He will also do ANYTHING for money. And $100 was enough to get him to sign himself up for Cowboy Pinball much to the chagrin of his girlfriend (another traveling therapist). She had a friend who became a quadriplegic after he went running with the bulls in Spain...we didn't really know that when we were egging Dave on to go jump in the ring. Whoops.

Anyway, so big tough Dave is standing cool as a cucumber in the ring when the bull starts running through the group. Dave got pushed out of the ring early, but it was the clowns fault and we all went nuts so they put him back in. He made is down the the last 4 and then the bull ran right at him. So Dave tried to forearm shiver the bull and set his feet in the ground...but the bull kept pushing and shoved him out of his circle. Sadness. But then they regrouped and let really mean bulls with big horns out on the remaining 3 idiots so Dave was fine he got out when he did.

We were all "horse" from yelling and Dave was covered in bull snot on one arm, but now has a really great story for the folks back home!

Oysters and Thai food

Two of my favorite SC foods are steamed oysters and Thai food. I had both last weekend and am currently hungry..so that is what I am writing about. The steamed oysters are very SC, and Thai food is not...but we never had Thai until we moved here and now we eat it a bunch..so that counts for today.

I seriously never touched oysters until we moved here. I was terrified of them. I was convinced that all food poisoning was from eating "bad oysters" and that I would die from the grotty texture. I couldn't have been more wrong. They keep pretty well for up to 4 days after coming out of the water if kept in the right conditions, taste just just like the ocean, and are an awesome vehicle for any type of cuisine you wish to dress them up as.

All the above being said, I don't eat them raw. That is just too much. I need enough heat to stabilize the texture and make the shell open just enough to get the knife in. You can totally ruin them by overcooking them even a little. Chewy little hockey pucks. Undercooked is better than overcooked..just like steak. Shucking an oyster is a hysterical process..not like steak..trying to get yourself a steak from the animal would not be awesome.. You are trying to open a shell that's only job in life is to not let you in. It's really half the fun. The other half of the fun is figuring out what should go on them. You can make them bbq on the grill with a sweet and sour sauce; make them high class with the Rockefeller action; garlic butter is pretty awesome; but I love the old standby...old school. On a saltine or in the shell, cocktail sauce, lemon, hot sauce. Always a varying combination of the above, but always all in one bite. You can't two bite and oyster, that's just asking for trouble on several levels. You also shouldn't chew it a bunch, it's just a weird choice. It's not Laffy Taffy, it's barely a solid.

The whole activity is a very communal thing. Our friend was in Charleston and went to the pier to get them..we didn't realize how many she was getting. "A bushel" doesn't really sound like 50 pounds when you say it...it is when Jake drags them up the stairs like freaking Santa Claus. It was unreal how many we got. We could have done it a little more smartly, but then what's the fun? So anyway, we got a bunch of folks around a table, fixed really easy sides that you could eat with your hands, dumped the oysters out in big bowls on a table covered in newspaper, and got to shucking them. It's a messy, wonderful scavenger hunt for the biggest oyster as the shells pile up. The only unfortunate thing about shucking your own is that the clean up is a disaster unless you are eating outside. Doing it in an apartment is a terrible idea...but we did it anyway..that is how we are.

I talked so much about the oysters that I am freaking starving and so Thai food is not going to get any attention. It is my favorite because it has hot and sweet together in all sorts of combinations, and Jake always orders it "Thai Hot"..which is code for "Stupid Hot" and the Thai guy taking the order always laughs at him, and them comes back and laughs at him more later as we all watch him sweat all over his bald head!

If you had told me two years ago that my two favorite food in South Carolina would be oysters and Thai food, I would have never believed you. I think that this has been a wonderful adventure as Jake and I have no security blankets here, and therefore no reason to NOT try anything. We are also the instigators around here with our friends. We introduce people to these things that we have come to love (or at least tolerate) and that is a totally different type of fun. So, when we come back and invite you over for oysters or out for Thai food, just come along...it's probably going to be a good time.

Go Bananas Go Go Bananas!

Jake and I like to pretend that we like bananas. We buy them at the store regularly, we have them on the counter top well in reach for healthy snacking, potassium is good for you, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so there is a very small window for when bananas are delicious. It it seriously about a day in a half. Once they hit brown, no one here will eat them...but we pretend we will. So they sit there until they are really rank, and then the pioneer in me won't let them go to waste and I put them in the freezer so I can one day make them into banana bread. Then one Tuesday night I find I can no longer put actual food in my freezer because of all the dead bananas I am saving.

After a marathon night of baking, I now I have 6 loaves of banana bread..some of which should go into the freezer...WHAT? I haven't solved my problem. Crap!

Fall Freaking Not Fabulous

Fall this year is ugly here. I feel cheated. We wait extra long for fall here of course, so I patiently waited my turn for the leaves to start to change. We have a really pretty tree right outside our door that turns the BEST shade of red during fall, like it is on fire. However, due to some sort of unsettling tree weather/happiness/poor self-esteem, the trees all decided to not change colors and then just drop their leaves in a pile. It's like opening an empty box on your birthday. Sadness. I waited my turn, didn't pay attention to the other trees because it was so pretty here last year, and now what? Nuttin'...

Worth the Work!

The outpatient department I work in (Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy) won the Outpatient Satisfaction Award for last quarter. Now, that means that we had the highest scores of any other outpatient department in the hospital on the surveys that we send out to our patients asking them to grade us on their experiences. I am just pretty darn excited. I am so pumped to tell the staff about it. Their hard work will be recognized and rewarded! Hurrah!

Halloween Costumes

So Jake and I went as "old people". Sounds like really boring outfits, but we wet all the way. Jake had a comb over wig, and I had a moo-moo and a gray "bun" wig. Jake had the tackiest shirt WalMart had to offer, and some really great clashing sweatpants to match. We had a great time. I make a really great grumpy old lady. I yelled "Dammit" a lot because I have decided that is what old ladies yell at the kids that mess up their yards or knock over their trashcans. At least, that is what they usually yelled at me...

Power Tools and Pumpkins

We had an excellent time last night carving pumpkins with some friends. I got tired of using the wimpy little knives that came with the carving kits and so I thought outside of the box a bit. So Jake and I busted out the jigsaw and drill left over from our home remodeling days and went all "This Old House" on those poor pumpkins. It was amazing how much faster you can carve a pumpkin with the assistance of electricity... Unfortunately we didn't get any good pictures last night. We might try again later so be ready.

My Current Favorite Things

1. The "Superfreak" commercial for Visa debit is my new favorite commercial..and the only one I will not fast forward through with my amazingly awesomely powerful DVR remote. "Let your freak flag fly".
2. The show "Modern Family" on ABC is the funniest show I have seen in several years. I see flashes of myself in the neurotic one...not unusual unfortunately.
3. If you get on YouTube and search for "popping a cyst" you will get hours of entertainment and an upset stomach. Thank you Travis.
4. My dog likes to use his limitless mental powers to make me give him part of my sandwich.
5. I want to learn how to upholster furniture...or at least a chair. I accidentally watched someone do that on TV and it looked so easy.

So there you go.

Fall? What the heck?

So it has been freaking freezing here. Which wouldn't be so bad if it hadn't been so freaking hot for the past 3 months. I scraped my car of frost this morning and am currently running the heat in the apartment. Although we didn't have to run the heat over the weekend as the lady that lives below us runs her heat at approximately 95 degrees. Apparently, she got it hot enough over the weekend to not have to run it the rest of the week.

So the grass is still green, the leaves haven't changed, and I am freezing my butt off. Magical. Although I do appreciate not pitting out my shirts before I get to work in the mornings. Fall is a little sad because by the time it gets nice enough to be outside in the evenings the days are really short.

Big Ole Roadtrip

Jake and I just got back a few hours ago from a long weekend trip to Memphis to see my sister Molly, her boyfriend Chad, and my folks. It was a whirlwind for sure!

Jake was headed to CO last weekend for business so we arose bright and early at 2:30 last Monday morning to get him to the airport in Charlotte and get me back in time to go to work. I drove back to Charlotte on Thursday night after work to pick him up to head to Memphis. We made it to Knoxville where we stayed overnight and then headed out bright and early the next morning. It was kind of a killer since we didn't get to sleep until 1 and got up at 6 to get on the road. Yuck.

By the way, Tennessee is a freaking long state. We drove from the northeast to the southwest corner...seems like the longest way through the state possible. I even got to drive through Nashville. That really made me thrilled. Luckily we were only on the edge of rush hour at 8:30 on a Friday morning because Jake had a work phone call to make. I don't think it went as smoothly as it could have for him because I was "silent screaming" swear words and wildly pointing at signs that we contradicting one another through downtown.

We got there just in time for lunch and lounging in the pool with some brewskis. It was great to catch up with Molly and my folks. Chad had to work so he was stuck being productive while the rest of us were being lazy. We caught up with him and headed out to the famed Rendezvous for some delicious ribs. It was like a Gates Brothers BBQ restaurant on steroids. Lots of yelling and running around, hurrying and BBQ smoke...oh, and deliciousness.

Saturday was super busy. The boys headed to play golf and the girls headed out for some shopping. I was glad that we drove and didn't fly because I got to pick up a few things that wouldn't have fit in a suitcase at all. It was great to shop with my mom and sister. Not that Jake isn't helpful, but it's helpful to get opinions from people that are both brashly honest, patient, and not married to you! We got overly involved and were starving like crazy when we finally ate at 3:30.

Molly lives downtown and has some really cool bars/restaurants nearby that were fantastic. The Blue Monkey and The Saucer were super, and if anyone is ever in Memphis near Beale but doesn't want the Beale insanity, they are where to go. We did make it down to Beale. It was nuts at 6:30 at night. Unfortunately it is impossible to describe but totally hysterical. There was a bum trying to charge Molly to park on a public street, crazy people dancing in the street, impromptu gymnastics performed in the middle of the street, a bar with goats, and the police setting up the mobile command center from which they will coordinate the policeman on horses pushing everyone off of Beale at 3 a.m. Yeah, we stayed for about 30 minutes. Not really my scene.

Molly tells me that people try to sell you all sorts of stuff. They pick flowers out of in front of the buildings and try to sell them, sell parking spots that are on public streets, newspapers, collect for music or wacky mid-street gymnastics..anything short of the air. Molly is hysterical about it. She about beat Jake up for offering to give one guy some money to leave us alone...it was awesomely funny.

Sunday we ate some more BBQ and got ready to head home. Molly was super about everything. There were a lot of folks in her tiny apartment, she fixed breakfast every morning (biscuits, eggs, ham, fruit), came up with stuff to do, and drug our butts all over Memphis showing us the sights. We had a great time.

Driving home was LONG. We drove to Knoxville again (stayed in the same hotel) and then got up and headed home the "scenic way". We drove through the Smokey Mountains National Park, Pigeon Forge, Gatlinburg, and all the other mountain stuff. I about threw up 100 times as the road is wildly curvy. I don't know how people live out there. It is gorgeous, but so far away from everything. What would you do if you forgot milk at the store? It's at least 30 minutes to the store..yuck. It was amazingly not "hilly billy" looking. The houses out there are actually really nice. Pigeon Forge was Branson on crack, but Gatlinburg was more like a CO ski town.. We finally made it home tonight and I am excited to go to sleep.

Nothing like a little vacation to totally wear you out!

Why I Never Play Wii Against Jake.

Jake is stupid good at all video games. I am pretty sure he actually helped those darn little Chinese guys on the commercial invent the Wii games. He sucks at the game for about 1-2 minutes and then owns them..finding basically every little way to score extra points, doing everything perfectly, and winning with the fantastically high, unbeatable score (beatable only by him). I win the first game almost every time..and then Jake shatters my reality beating me relentlessly at all games. Tennis, skydiving, plane flying, bicycling, Frisbee throwing (yes these are all games).

I want to throw things off the deck and punch him in the face..but of course it's not his fault that this is his God-given talent and he is so dang nice. He is truly apologetic because he doesn't enjoy beating me every time because I AM A SORE LOSER WHEN BEATEN EVERY FREAKING TIME. Do I want him to let me win..No, of course not, that would be insulting. I just want him to suck at something naturally. I want to be better than him at ONE THING IN THIS WORLD. I was hoping it was the Wii. It was my last hope. I used to be more fit...not anymore, he can now run faster than me. He is a dude and can pick up heavier things, is taller than me, and gets to spend less time on his appearance because he looks EXACTLY THE SAME WHEN HE GETS UP IN THE MORNING AS HE WOULD AT A DINNER WITH THE POPE! Oh, and he is correcting my punctuation all the time, is better at math AND spelling.

Yes, I am a better Physical Therapist..but only because I haven't let him try it yet. Yes, I am a better cook..because he is lazy at it. Yes, I am prettier...because I am a girl for god's sakes...

It's freaking hopeless. If someone knows something that Jake is not good at I want to know immediately because I need a win in this world pretty badly...but you will have to send me a letter by actual mail because he is better than me at running a computer and will find out and work on it until he can beat me at it.

Blueberry Waffles

Had some really delicious waffles this morning. It is the blueberry time of year and they were super fantastic! Like a really good muffin, only with syrup...which only makes it more super fantastic..

Hope you are all having a great Sunday!

Whole-Wheat-Yogurt Waffles with Blueberries
Makes six 7-inch waffles
These waffles have a moist, tangy interior thanks to the yogurt and juicy blueberries. Try them with maple syrup or honey for breakfast. Top the waffles with ice cream for brunch or for an unusual dessert.
2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
2 large eggs
1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
1 cup 2% milk
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
2 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen (unthawed) blueberries
If you plan to serve the waffles all at once, preheat the oven to 200 degrees F.
In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and allspice.
In a medium bowl, beat the eggs. Blend in the yogurt, milk, butter, honey, and lemon zest. Stir the wet ingredients and blueberries into the dry ingredients just until blended. Do not overmix or the waffles may become heavy.
Heat a waffle iron according to the manufacturer's instructions. When a drop of water thrown on the waffle iron sizzles, spoon on enough batter to cover three quarters of the surface. Close the lid and bake until the waffle is golden brown and the edges are crisp.
Serve immediately, or to keep the waffles warm, place them in a single layer on a rack in the oven.

But It's a Wet Heat

I love summer. Absolutely love the sunshine and long days but hate the fact that you can't go outside for more than a few minutes at a time without sweating out several pounds. Maybe it's just July I dislike. I hate to wish for fall because I know that brings winter, and I hate winter no matter where I live. But it is hotter than snot out right now and not very fun. I am having some doldrums as I missed an entire weekend of exercise as it was just too hot and too stupid to be out there.

However, we did sit outside last night at a bar by the lake and the weather was relative perfection. The band though was relative to terrible. There was a guy with a synthesizer who was providing the keyboard, drums and bass guitar. There was a guy with a saxophone (actually 3 saxophones), who I don't think knew how to play the saxophone. It was karaoke with a band instead of singing..and I believe they were getting paid for their services.

We have had one other fantastic karaoke experience in Greenwood. It involved a crazy dive with patron's names on plaques at their specific chairs and about as much smoke as 10 smoke machines can handle...but ironically they don't have even one smoke machine. They have karaoke NIGHTLY and there are some reg-u-lars. Like folks who have a normal line up of songs they sing, there is some request taking and four part harmony. Karaoke is usually fun, upbeat and has a party-like atmosphere, however we went on "depressing country night" apparently. There are more songs that fit that category than you would think. The clientele was hysterically diverse and equally terrible with their song choices. There was a guy who thought he would be cute and sing the song "Strokin" which has some truly graphic lyrics that he was apparently unaware of because he got embarrassed and quit singing halfway through. We were also very disappointed when a large African-American man got up to sing and hopefully change the pace a little, and instead sang a painfully depressing LeAnn Rhymes song. The highlight of the night came with a rousing rendition of "A Coal miner's Daughter" sang by a 65 year old woman with a platinum ponytail wearing a flowered, short short onesy. You don't realize how much you don't want to see 65 year old butt cheek until you do. That is a life fact you can take to the bank.

So that's how I hit my hospital's CEO with my bike...

I didn't really "hit him", I hit his bike. He was riding in front of me and stopped suddenly without yelling the required "slowing" or "stopping" that you are supposed to yell to stop people behind you from hitting you. He was slowing down to wait on some slower pokes, and stopped right as I was looking down to grab my water bottle. I looked up and ran right into him going a little more than 10 mph.

Of course I fell off with my feet still attached to my pedals and was entirely too focused on trying not to yell the "F word" and ended up bleeding and in a pile on the street. I am the only girl on the bike ride with about 20 middle aged guys, and Jake skipped out due to an acute Chicken Fried Steak Country Breakfast overdose, so I hopped right back up and kept going like there was absolutely nothing wrong. Only a few guys saw, so I wasn't totally mortified. I even pedaled extra fast and got in the lead group to prove how tough I was. I was definitely bleeding pretty decently from a puncture on my ankle from my chain ring while led to a kick ass bloody sock that makes me look tough, but a lot of whining today which doesn't make me so tough.

We went to the bbq contest on Saturday they were having Uptown at the "Festival of Discovery" (watch for the food network bbq special) and had a great time. It is a pretty cool contest that Greenwood puts on and it is becoming more and more well attended. It was the hottest thing ever though. The bbq was delicious and we went with friends so it was a great time.

I fall off my bike relatively regularly, but am super sore from this one because I managed to twist my ankle (while it was attached to my bike), skin my elbow, and bash my shoulder when I hit the ground. After watching all of the Tour de France bike wrecks that happen at 30 mph in the middle of 100 bikes, I feel pretty lucky that I fall off only when stopped or moving slowly!

Great Sunday Morning

I got to sleep in late this morning (8 a.m.), then get up and watch the Tour de France and Roddick vs. Federer Wimbledon final. Yeah! It is supposed to be rainy this afternoon so maybe we can get some stuff done and relax. It's hard for me to relax when it's nice outside. I feel like we should be out doing something.

We hosted 4th of July yesterday afternoon with beers and grilling by the pool. We gave up on the fireworks because Greenwood wasn't having them and it would have been a haul to go see them. The town that was having them was about 15 miles away (Ninety-six...yes, that IS the name) and we had ridden through on a bike ride earlier in the morning. It was already a mess. There were people everywhere and it was near suicide on a bicycle. We were lazy and decided it was too much work to fight so we just hung out and watched the DC fireworks on TV. The Sesame Street characters were on stage and singing the regular classics and it made me laugh to see the kids in the audience in awe of what they were seeing on the stage. I was that kid almost 30 years ago. That Big Bird is aging well..