This is a nod to my prior post of "Outdoorsy" where we were planning something outdoorsy that I didn't know would work or not. Jake was reading the blog the other day (he sometimes reads it when he is wondering what I am writing about him) and informed me that I should not have had a "Birthaversary Volume 1" if I had not intended to write a "Volume 2". So I apologize to all of you holding your breath on the second volume. I used good judgement and left the second part out that involved some ladies fighting on the beach and one yelling at another that her mother was a "fat heifer". Anyway, in the same vein of "Outdoorsy", this one is called "Athletic" as we have now planned something athletic that will either be really great or really terrible...Hence the question mark at the end. If I thought it was a sure thing, it would be titled "Athletic!" instead...definitely more self assured punctuation when you use an exclamation point! All of that really great insight into the nuances of punctuation is all self taught as my 8th and 9th grade teachers were too much fun to actually teach me anything useful in real life, so I made up my own punctuation ideas... The question mark's name is actually "Ross", the exclamation point is kinda a jerk, and the comma lives in the duplex down the block. Again I stray away from the point of the post.
So, we are now officially signed up for the Asheville Sprint Triathlon. Yep, they have our money so now I can't back out. Luckily it is the first annual so hopefully it will not be very big. It is also supposed to be very beginner friendly. I am not sure it could ever be beginner friendly enough for me! "Sprint" just means it is an abbreviated distance as compared to most triathlons, it in no way means how fast you will go...guaranteed my speed cannot be called a "sprint" or even a gallop some days. This means I will have to swim, ride my bike and run all in a row on purpose on July 20th. Sounds like a really dumb idea, but we live in triathlon country so when in Rome. Luckily we chose the Triathlon part to partake in in lieu of some of the other more colorful and less adoptable Southern activities. Thought you would all get a laugh out of it as you try and envision me being athletic, especially any of you that saw any tape of me playing high school basketball or heard the story about me falling over in the ocean this weekend and head butting some lady in the behind 20 yards away before I was able to get myself back under control....
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Redneck Riviera
We just got out of the car after camping at the beach this weekend. It was a great time! We were able to camp at the state park that was within walking distance of the beach and wedged right in the middle of all of the high rise hotels. It was surreal to turn around on the beach to look at the camp and see giant buildings rising up just to the side. Camping is a whole bizarre situation there. I didn't realize that camping was a lucrative business but there are several "campgrounds" right on the beach, which is also right on a highway, which is also right by hotel/resorts on the beach. They all had a strange pirate reference in the name, as did every miniature golf course and gentlemen's club.
I didn't know when we chose our destination, but someone told us it is sometimes referred to as the "Redneck Riviera". I do understand it now. It is very "state fair" with a random group of people who are all on vacation, and don't really care about much else. Very different from the other places we have been on the coast. It made for some of the most tremendous people watching.
The campsite was pretty neat. It never fails to surprise me the wide variety of "camping" present at a place. There were folks in giant motor homes that were not roughing it at all, then there were tents with an air conditioner propped up outside, then there were the four of us sweating our rears off in our tents with the rain covers on because it kept pretending it was going to rain. Cooking over a fire is also a rough idea when it is already 90 degrees out with 80% humidity...but I digress. There were also folks that had been there for months and had little mailbox signs with their names and had landscaped little areas with Astroturf and wind chimes. I would be annoyed by all other campers if I were one of the "long term" folks. There were some normal looking campers and then there were some very real rednecks. I mean that as a means of classification, like "hippies", not in any sort of derogatory fashion. There are characteristics that can commonly be attributed to being a redneck (primarily male) and they are as follows: very long hair that is not contained by a ponytail band, large beer belly with very skinny legs or tapeworm thin (either way) with very ill fitting swim shorts that have some sort of beer logo, "Buttweiser" t-shirt at a restaurant (actually picture of ladies rears in thongs reading "BUTTWEISER, KING OF REARS"- at the waffle house this morning), Natural Light beer in any situation, or any sort of running around without a shirt or shoes in public. I think the only classification for women is that if your male counterpart meets any of the prior criteria you yourself are a redneck as well.
We spent all day yesterday at the beach. It was gorgeous but windy. We rented an umbrella and got to nap in the shade after the ocean beat us up until it got so windy that all the umbrellas had to be put away. The greatest thing on the beach was watching a lifeguard who spoke terrible English attempt to communicate with folks who couldn't understand why he was so stupid and didn't speak better English. I do think it should be some sort of a requirement that the people in charge of keeping you safe should be able to effectively communicate in case there is some sort of a problem but none the less it was funny. They closed the beach because of the wind and his job was to get folks out of the water...he was terrible at it. He didn't want to blow his whistle because then he would have to talk to folks, so he just stared at them and followed them up and down the beach trying to use ESP to keep them from getting in. I wanted to grab his whistle, blow it really hard, tell everyone to get out of the water and let that be it...his nervous pacing was ruining my relaxing.
The beach was beautiful but totally weird as there were no restaurants within a 2 mile walking distance except for one crappy one that people only went to because it was the only one. I have no clue where the rest of the crazy fools were eating, but it wasn't on the beach. It was so strange. Miles of giant hotels, crappy motels, and random inns with crazy names, but no food.
There were some unique camping situations that made me laugh. I wore shoes in the shower for the first time since I lived in the dorms and had the thrill of watching several people with RV's emptying the chemical toilets at the front of the park (I feel like you should have to take that with you...) and resisted the desire to yell "Shitters full?" like cousin Eddy on Christmas Vacation. Camping is definitely a lot of work. We went with some fun folks and had a great time. We went to sleep every night really tired for sure. I am looking at a giant pile of nasty, dirty stuff on a sheet in my living room and figure I will go to sleep tired again tonight.
I would consider this experience "camping light", and we will see where the next adventure takes us! For those of you wondering, "camping light" means not having to poop outside. Dodged a bullet this time!
I didn't know when we chose our destination, but someone told us it is sometimes referred to as the "Redneck Riviera". I do understand it now. It is very "state fair" with a random group of people who are all on vacation, and don't really care about much else. Very different from the other places we have been on the coast. It made for some of the most tremendous people watching.
The campsite was pretty neat. It never fails to surprise me the wide variety of "camping" present at a place. There were folks in giant motor homes that were not roughing it at all, then there were tents with an air conditioner propped up outside, then there were the four of us sweating our rears off in our tents with the rain covers on because it kept pretending it was going to rain. Cooking over a fire is also a rough idea when it is already 90 degrees out with 80% humidity...but I digress. There were also folks that had been there for months and had little mailbox signs with their names and had landscaped little areas with Astroturf and wind chimes. I would be annoyed by all other campers if I were one of the "long term" folks. There were some normal looking campers and then there were some very real rednecks. I mean that as a means of classification, like "hippies", not in any sort of derogatory fashion. There are characteristics that can commonly be attributed to being a redneck (primarily male) and they are as follows: very long hair that is not contained by a ponytail band, large beer belly with very skinny legs or tapeworm thin (either way) with very ill fitting swim shorts that have some sort of beer logo, "Buttweiser" t-shirt at a restaurant (actually picture of ladies rears in thongs reading "BUTTWEISER, KING OF REARS"- at the waffle house this morning), Natural Light beer in any situation, or any sort of running around without a shirt or shoes in public. I think the only classification for women is that if your male counterpart meets any of the prior criteria you yourself are a redneck as well.
We spent all day yesterday at the beach. It was gorgeous but windy. We rented an umbrella and got to nap in the shade after the ocean beat us up until it got so windy that all the umbrellas had to be put away. The greatest thing on the beach was watching a lifeguard who spoke terrible English attempt to communicate with folks who couldn't understand why he was so stupid and didn't speak better English. I do think it should be some sort of a requirement that the people in charge of keeping you safe should be able to effectively communicate in case there is some sort of a problem but none the less it was funny. They closed the beach because of the wind and his job was to get folks out of the water...he was terrible at it. He didn't want to blow his whistle because then he would have to talk to folks, so he just stared at them and followed them up and down the beach trying to use ESP to keep them from getting in. I wanted to grab his whistle, blow it really hard, tell everyone to get out of the water and let that be it...his nervous pacing was ruining my relaxing.
The beach was beautiful but totally weird as there were no restaurants within a 2 mile walking distance except for one crappy one that people only went to because it was the only one. I have no clue where the rest of the crazy fools were eating, but it wasn't on the beach. It was so strange. Miles of giant hotels, crappy motels, and random inns with crazy names, but no food.
There were some unique camping situations that made me laugh. I wore shoes in the shower for the first time since I lived in the dorms and had the thrill of watching several people with RV's emptying the chemical toilets at the front of the park (I feel like you should have to take that with you...) and resisted the desire to yell "Shitters full?" like cousin Eddy on Christmas Vacation. Camping is definitely a lot of work. We went with some fun folks and had a great time. We went to sleep every night really tired for sure. I am looking at a giant pile of nasty, dirty stuff on a sheet in my living room and figure I will go to sleep tired again tonight.
I would consider this experience "camping light", and we will see where the next adventure takes us! For those of you wondering, "camping light" means not having to poop outside. Dodged a bullet this time!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Outdoorsy?
Jake and I have been doing tons of interesting things with our time in South Carolina that a lot of people didn't see coming. Actually, I can safely say that NO ONE saw them coming. I didn't even see it coming. Over the past 10 months we have become bike riders, hikers, joggers, triathalons in training, and now we are heading camping. Stop laughing. It would really be the coup de gras of our "outdoorsy-ness" if this became some sort of a habit. It is well known that we are master tailgaters with all of the necessary camping supplies to stay alive for days, but we both lack the desire to be dirty for days in a row and poop outside. Nothing good can come of that. I can't even poop inside if I think there is anyone around within 50 feet. There is also that interesting smell that is around for many, many days afterwards (kinda like The Aggie Lou) that doesn't go away when you wash your hair and clothes. We have been camping before with friends and enjoyed it, but we were never quite this serious. Well, now we are jumping in with both feet. We are driving four hours to go camping with some friends at Myrtle Beach. These are people who spent a month in India living out of a back pack and hiked the Grand Canyon in May. We are going to sleep in a tent and the ocean is about 300 yards away. I would be totally lying to say it is going to be deep woods camping as we are in the middle of the town, there is a shower, and there are not any bears or lions, so we are not exactly roughing it. I think that is a good idea that our first attempt at faraway camping will be suburban/urban. Probably like sleeping in the backyard of your parents when you were a kid... I didn't ever sleep in a tent, but I tried to sleep in a tree once. Luckily my mom is very persuasive and talked me out of it.
I secretly desire to eat a fish I caught myself. Actually not so secret...everyone should know that by now. However that would require a fishing pole, bait, and some other weird things I don't have. I would also have to kill the fish somehow. I really am not sure how that works. But I could sure take it apart...I watch a lot of the food network.
According to some of my patients this is an amazing thing that we stumbled onto a campsite there as it is typically booked all summer long six months in advance...of course we had no clue when we dumb lucked into it. Hopefully we enjoy it! Maybe we will truly become "outdoorsy"..hmmm, don't hold your breath. I don't see myself pooping outside on a regular basis.
I secretly desire to eat a fish I caught myself. Actually not so secret...everyone should know that by now. However that would require a fishing pole, bait, and some other weird things I don't have. I would also have to kill the fish somehow. I really am not sure how that works. But I could sure take it apart...I watch a lot of the food network.
According to some of my patients this is an amazing thing that we stumbled onto a campsite there as it is typically booked all summer long six months in advance...of course we had no clue when we dumb lucked into it. Hopefully we enjoy it! Maybe we will truly become "outdoorsy"..hmmm, don't hold your breath. I don't see myself pooping outside on a regular basis.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Birthiversary Randomness Volume 1
I have the day off this morning and thought I would update the blog. I know, 2x in a month is a lot for me lately. Off topic: Is the show "CHARMED" on ALL DAY. I have been clicking around the awful tv options between 7-10 a.m and CHARMED has been on for 3 straight hours. I didn't even know the show was on for enough years to have 3 hours worth of re-runs. My other options appears to be some sort of Steven Segal movie marathon or 19 different shows about how to exercise to lose weight without exercising. If people would just spend the time and exercise instead of trying to figure out how not to exercise we would be a much thinner bunch of folks in the US. I digress.
Whew! We had quite the weekend of fun. It encompassed the entire gamut of entertainment. We headed to Savannah this weekend for the "BIRTHIVERSARY" celebration of my 30th year and our 5th year of being married. I know it just seems like yesterday, but it has indeed been forever.
The actual reason we picked Savannah is because it also had a 5K this weekend. Yes, Jake and Hilary were going to run 3 miles in a competitive fashion on purpose. Jake had to talk me into it. For anyone who has not seen Jake lately, he is a mere shadow of his former self and suddenly very fit and all about trying out races. For anyone who has not seen me lately, I look basically the same...my hair maybe a little shorter..but I am still very much against competitive physical activities as I suck at them. For anyone that knows me from my younger days I have a rare condition known as "bubble guts" (my mom named it) and feel like puking if any physical activity becomes a competition. I am instantly terrified I will come in last or be left for dead on the side of the road with everyone pointing and laughing as they run by in all their designer gear while I have a coronary or a calf cramp. Fun right? So a 5K on our anniversary should be a good time..
To make a long blog short, we did it. Jake was good about keeping me from freaking out in the herd of runners (all shapes and sizes), none particularly trendily dressed, and some people I was sure I would be able to finish in front of. It was a good situation. Then we get to the end. We had only been passed by one person who we passed back later so I was feeling pretty good despite the fact you could have spooned the air into a glass and drank it. This nice man falls in beside us and hangs out with us from 2.4 miles on, we are chatting it up. His watch is beeping because he is not running fast enough and my watch is beeping because I am running too fast. It was kinda funny. Anyway, he and Jake decide I can definitely catch the girl in front of me before we get across the finish line. She had been walking for a while around the 2.8 mile mark so she was looking tired. I laugh it off, but it keeps coming up and we are gaining on her. Let me establish that I have never, ever, ever run a race. I have never, ever been in "track", cross-country, nor did I really pay attention in PE. I have never, ever dealt with race strategy or any of that stuff. I barely even know anything about running form unless it has to do with pathology that I fix as a PT. So, we turn the corner to run up a hill to the finish line and all the sudden Jake and this guy (I seriously don't know his name) turn toward me and are yelling at me to catch this girl. Seriously like yelling all of this encouraging athletic running stuff like: "stride it out, finish strong, you can do it" and some other stuff that I didn't even understand. My original goal was just to finish in under 30 minutes, but suddenly my goal was to catch this girl and crush her spirit..for absolutely no reason except Jake and some guy were yelling at me to do it and I couldn't tell them no. If it had just been Jake I would have told him to stop smoking crack and there was no way it would happen, but that would have been rude to say to guy-with-no-name. My mother taught me to never be rude. You would have thought it was the damn Olympic time trials or I was running for 1 million dollars because this mildly athletic, newly 30 year old girl started running like she stole something. And I was gaining on the girl in front of me. Then she saw me coming.
I think we maybe had 75 yards let, mostly uphill to the blow-up arch finish line. Anyway, she sees me out of the corner of her eye-apparently I am not sneaky as she was wearing an ipod and still noticed...or maybe it was the two grown men screaming "GET HER" that she noticed. She was not amused by my attempt to catch her (she was wearing some sort of 3 layer short situation but otherwise seemed normal) and had apparently been involved in some sort of prior running program (at least Jr. High) as she seemed to find an additional gear just as I was catching her. She wasn't going to let me beat her...Dangit. So I dug deep inside and tried to find another gear but it turns out I was already in my additional gear and the only other gear option was reverse. Oh my god it was a duel to the finish. I would have shoved her over if I thought I could have gotten away (again, I am not aware of the "rules" of running) with it but suddenly everyone around the finish was watching us and cheering. It was one of the most bizarre things I have done in my adulthood and certainly the craziest in my recent foray into the 30's (it had only been 24 hours) battling the girl to the finish of a charity 5K. Anyway, she beat me by a couple yards. I did come in under 30 minutes which was really cool.
I really enjoyed the race experience and didn't throw up, cramp up, or come in last. Then Jake told me that people don't really race to the finish line at the end....Wow, so this girl and I had an impromptu foot race in front of 100 people. Wow again. I wonder if they will ever invite me back again. I like to bring new experiences to the people!
Whew! We had quite the weekend of fun. It encompassed the entire gamut of entertainment. We headed to Savannah this weekend for the "BIRTHIVERSARY" celebration of my 30th year and our 5th year of being married. I know it just seems like yesterday, but it has indeed been forever.
The actual reason we picked Savannah is because it also had a 5K this weekend. Yes, Jake and Hilary were going to run 3 miles in a competitive fashion on purpose. Jake had to talk me into it. For anyone who has not seen Jake lately, he is a mere shadow of his former self and suddenly very fit and all about trying out races. For anyone who has not seen me lately, I look basically the same...my hair maybe a little shorter..but I am still very much against competitive physical activities as I suck at them. For anyone that knows me from my younger days I have a rare condition known as "bubble guts" (my mom named it) and feel like puking if any physical activity becomes a competition. I am instantly terrified I will come in last or be left for dead on the side of the road with everyone pointing and laughing as they run by in all their designer gear while I have a coronary or a calf cramp. Fun right? So a 5K on our anniversary should be a good time..
To make a long blog short, we did it. Jake was good about keeping me from freaking out in the herd of runners (all shapes and sizes), none particularly trendily dressed, and some people I was sure I would be able to finish in front of. It was a good situation. Then we get to the end. We had only been passed by one person who we passed back later so I was feeling pretty good despite the fact you could have spooned the air into a glass and drank it. This nice man falls in beside us and hangs out with us from 2.4 miles on, we are chatting it up. His watch is beeping because he is not running fast enough and my watch is beeping because I am running too fast. It was kinda funny. Anyway, he and Jake decide I can definitely catch the girl in front of me before we get across the finish line. She had been walking for a while around the 2.8 mile mark so she was looking tired. I laugh it off, but it keeps coming up and we are gaining on her. Let me establish that I have never, ever, ever run a race. I have never, ever been in "track", cross-country, nor did I really pay attention in PE. I have never, ever dealt with race strategy or any of that stuff. I barely even know anything about running form unless it has to do with pathology that I fix as a PT. So, we turn the corner to run up a hill to the finish line and all the sudden Jake and this guy (I seriously don't know his name) turn toward me and are yelling at me to catch this girl. Seriously like yelling all of this encouraging athletic running stuff like: "stride it out, finish strong, you can do it" and some other stuff that I didn't even understand. My original goal was just to finish in under 30 minutes, but suddenly my goal was to catch this girl and crush her spirit..for absolutely no reason except Jake and some guy were yelling at me to do it and I couldn't tell them no. If it had just been Jake I would have told him to stop smoking crack and there was no way it would happen, but that would have been rude to say to guy-with-no-name. My mother taught me to never be rude. You would have thought it was the damn Olympic time trials or I was running for 1 million dollars because this mildly athletic, newly 30 year old girl started running like she stole something. And I was gaining on the girl in front of me. Then she saw me coming.
I think we maybe had 75 yards let, mostly uphill to the blow-up arch finish line. Anyway, she sees me out of the corner of her eye-apparently I am not sneaky as she was wearing an ipod and still noticed...or maybe it was the two grown men screaming "GET HER" that she noticed. She was not amused by my attempt to catch her (she was wearing some sort of 3 layer short situation but otherwise seemed normal) and had apparently been involved in some sort of prior running program (at least Jr. High) as she seemed to find an additional gear just as I was catching her. She wasn't going to let me beat her...Dangit. So I dug deep inside and tried to find another gear but it turns out I was already in my additional gear and the only other gear option was reverse. Oh my god it was a duel to the finish. I would have shoved her over if I thought I could have gotten away (again, I am not aware of the "rules" of running) with it but suddenly everyone around the finish was watching us and cheering. It was one of the most bizarre things I have done in my adulthood and certainly the craziest in my recent foray into the 30's (it had only been 24 hours) battling the girl to the finish of a charity 5K. Anyway, she beat me by a couple yards. I did come in under 30 minutes which was really cool.
I really enjoyed the race experience and didn't throw up, cramp up, or come in last. Then Jake told me that people don't really race to the finish line at the end....Wow, so this girl and I had an impromptu foot race in front of 100 people. Wow again. I wonder if they will ever invite me back again. I like to bring new experiences to the people!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Bocce
Pretty funny little game. You throw weighted balls at a target, like croquet without the sticks. It is a pretty good time. I recommend it. Wal-Mart for 12 dollars. It would be pretty easy in KS as there is a lot of flat surfaces...kinda a bear here in SC. Have to account for the uneven-ness of the gound like reading a golf green. Pretty good hanging out game to play...Although I still get too into it and swear a little. No one can imagine that...
Catch Up!
Holy Mooly I have been lazy at this. I have started it repeatedly but never finished a paragraph. So...here goes a solid try.
1. Jake's parents visited in May and we went to Asheville. It was super! My favorite part was seeing all of the beautiful gardens at the Biltmore House. They were just amazing. It was a little drizzly but still pretty fantastic. The funniest part was when we were driving behind a car and we all realized there was something odd going on as there was a lot of weaving and general erractic-ness. When we drove past we realized it was an older lady in the driver's seat with her young(12 year old) grandson was working the steering wheel from the passenger's seat. SERIOUSLY! In Kansas we drive when we are 12, but always from the driver's seat!
2. We went to Kansas the week before Memorial Day. It was great to see as many folks as we got to see. There are a few folks that got missed due to scheduling flubs and mild attempts at over programming on my part. I did wave at you as I drove past Manhattan/Junction City and gave you a mental hug/high five/delicious beer (your choice) and am thinking of you! We did eat Brookville chicken, several steaks, Swedish pancakes, Curley's BBQ sauce, and Boulevard beer, which should round out all the important Kansas food groups. Thanks to everyone who adjusted their schedules to take out time to hang out with us, drink beers with us, chat with us, or share their general lives with us. It was tremendous fun! I will try to throw on some pics when I get myself together.
1. Jake's parents visited in May and we went to Asheville. It was super! My favorite part was seeing all of the beautiful gardens at the Biltmore House. They were just amazing. It was a little drizzly but still pretty fantastic. The funniest part was when we were driving behind a car and we all realized there was something odd going on as there was a lot of weaving and general erractic-ness. When we drove past we realized it was an older lady in the driver's seat with her young(12 year old) grandson was working the steering wheel from the passenger's seat. SERIOUSLY! In Kansas we drive when we are 12, but always from the driver's seat!
2. We went to Kansas the week before Memorial Day. It was great to see as many folks as we got to see. There are a few folks that got missed due to scheduling flubs and mild attempts at over programming on my part. I did wave at you as I drove past Manhattan/Junction City and gave you a mental hug/high five/delicious beer (your choice) and am thinking of you! We did eat Brookville chicken, several steaks, Swedish pancakes, Curley's BBQ sauce, and Boulevard beer, which should round out all the important Kansas food groups. Thanks to everyone who adjusted their schedules to take out time to hang out with us, drink beers with us, chat with us, or share their general lives with us. It was tremendous fun! I will try to throw on some pics when I get myself together.
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