Thong at the Gym? Really?

I spent a terrifying 45 minutes at the gym earlier this week watching a lady's rear end try to eat her pants.  

It almost got it done.  She was on the StairMaster and every step she took was one step closer to the WORLD BIGGEST WEDGIE....I have given my share of wedgies to my siblings and was pretty mean about it, but I never would have intentionally pulled any one's underpants up their keester that far for fear of mortally wounding them or causing them to never be able to sit again without a blow up doughnut.  But it didn't phase this lady.  She was getting it done on the StairMaster while I squirmed on the exercise bike trying to stop the northbound progression of her underpants with my mind.  It was a train wreck, I couldn't look away.  I finally had to cut my workout short and switch to a different machine before I lost it and jumped on her to picked it out myself in order to save her life.