When to ignore the locals.

We are in Hilton Head enjoying some beautiful weather and getting ready to head out to dinner, but this was too good to wait to type for fear I would forget one glorious instant.

So, we have had the worst dining experiences in the past 24 hours I have ever had while on vacation. I have never been to Hilton Head before, but I expected delicious buckets of fresh shellfish and seafood lining the streets and available on every corner since it is an island. Seriously, it should be wonderful. Unfortunately we have been lead totally astray if there is decent food on this island. Last night Jake asked the conceirge for a "fun local seafood restaurant", and we ended up at an unfortunate Joe's Crabshack knockoff. Although Joe's has better food and probably some non-skunky beer. I also need to mention that I finally got a book and read that it is "the best restaurant for kids on the island"...just imagine how much I enjoyed that plus crappy food and skunky beer. Then this morning we went to a highly noted restaurant on the water where they promptly burned the snot out of my FRENCH TOAST...they screwed up FRENCH TOAST. So then we just gave up for lunch and went to a joint called The Earle of Sandwich which is a bar like the Stuga. Food was sketchy at best, but better and less expensive than the rest of what we have been eating. Then we got to talk to the bartender. Dear Lord. All the people that know anything about travel always say that you should ask the locals for the best spots to eat. I think there should be some sort of disclaimer regarding exactly the typ of locals you should ask. So despite that little voice in my head, I asked. He had several brilliant nuggets of insight for us:
1. "The best seafood here is at the Holiday Inn Buffet, it is awesome." Yes, he said that.
2. "Never use the coupons they give you in the magazines, b/c anywhere you need a coupon to go, you don't want to go".
3. Another thought on the Holiday Inn, "There is a great Tiki bar back there. My friends and I go there all the time. Just walk back there like you are a tourist (easy as we are indeed tourists) and they won't bother you. We also like to use the hot tub and the pool there. Did I mention how good the seafood buffet is for $11." Yes you did mention that earlier.

So out we venture in an attempt to find seafood better than at your local Red Lobster in a city that is an island in the ocean. Seriously. If we do not succeed I will be crabbing for myself in the ocean tomorrow morning because this is ridiculous.

Oh, and there are alligators everywhere. I am not in love with Hilton Head.