Getting excited to head towards the frosty Midwest later this week! I am really looking forward to it. We are going to be in Lindsborg and Hill City primarily with a quick trip to Manhattan. It cracks me up that our idea of a relaxing vacation is driving all over the state! Oh well. It always is a great time and awesome to see everyone.
I am a little stressed about the christmas gifts I bought. None of them will be in my hands prior to our arrival in Kansas. They were all sent to my parents. Hope they are all there...hope I can remember what should be there.
Hope everyone is having a lovely holiday season! See some of you very soon!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Thanksgiving
We spent our seconds turkey day in the SC last week. Each therapist needs to be around for either Christmas or Thanksgiving and we generally like to take a lot of time around Christmas. There is nothing like being at home for Thanksgiving, but home is not an option from this distance currently so we make the best of the day. We are very lucky to be surrounded by other people that don't have families here and are our friends so it makes for good company!
There were five of us for lunch/dinner and everyone brought different things that they had for their own home Thanksgivings. I was "in charge" of the staples: turkey, potatoes, green bean casserole, dressing, and rolls...and cherry pie. Jake loves cherry pie. I totally despise everything about it. Needless to say it is not an often made creation at our house. It was not a total success but not a total failure. Jake ate the whole pie in about 3 days so it must not have been totally bad.
We had appetizers, played games and before we knew it the turkey was done! Pretty darn good day all around. It was great to spend time with friends and kick back....and eat combinations and amounts of things that have make my stomach a mess for almost 5 straight days now. But I am totally thankful for every miserable, carb fueled moment! Definitely missed all of you, but thought of you guys all throughout my day and was lucky enough to have a few other great folks to surround myself with.
Hope all is well with all of you and you had a great turkey day! Gooble, gobble!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Repression and Avoidance.
Repression and Avoidance. The healthiest way to deal with stress and your feelings.
I have fallen off of the face of the earth lately. Work stuff has been a little rocky(too busy, I don't have all the answers) so I like to crawl in a hole and not talk to anyone until I know all of the answers and have the problems solved. It makes my mom crazy. She is so sensitive and loving and wants to help me and hear my stories...all I want to do is not talk about it and get off of the phone. Unfortunately that is how 3/4 of her daughters are. We don't like to talk about our feelings...or really even have them if at all avoidable. We fast forward through all conflicted parts of movies, change the station to avoid conflict on television, and all only own really crappy hysterical movies with happy endings and no plot. I will admit that I am probably the worst.
We get the channel changing thing from our father. I thought Jake was going to freak out and beat him up when we were at home a few weeks ago. My dad only had one working foot so it wouldn't have been that hard. He wouldn't have been able to run away very fast. I think pity was the only thing that prevented my husband from snatching one of dad's crutches (the only one left after the other blew out of the back of the pickup) and beating dad over the head with it until he gave the clicker up to Jake or vowed to watch an ENTIRE television program, football game, or commercial without changing it to avoid the conflict portion. I think Jake missed three game winning field goals, 5 plot altering conflicts in TV shows, and anything meaningful in general that occurred on TV that day. I just sat on the couch and laughed. It was a really nice afternoon of TV for me!
Anyway, I suppose this is an apology post. To all of you that have left me phone messages without responses, sent e-mails without responses, or just wondered if I fell down a rabbit's hole, I apologize. I am doing my best to catch up this weekend. Tough it out with me..I am sorry..I will be better when I have all the answers again!
I have fallen off of the face of the earth lately. Work stuff has been a little rocky(too busy, I don't have all the answers) so I like to crawl in a hole and not talk to anyone until I know all of the answers and have the problems solved. It makes my mom crazy. She is so sensitive and loving and wants to help me and hear my stories...all I want to do is not talk about it and get off of the phone. Unfortunately that is how 3/4 of her daughters are. We don't like to talk about our feelings...or really even have them if at all avoidable. We fast forward through all conflicted parts of movies, change the station to avoid conflict on television, and all only own really crappy hysterical movies with happy endings and no plot. I will admit that I am probably the worst.
We get the channel changing thing from our father. I thought Jake was going to freak out and beat him up when we were at home a few weeks ago. My dad only had one working foot so it wouldn't have been that hard. He wouldn't have been able to run away very fast. I think pity was the only thing that prevented my husband from snatching one of dad's crutches (the only one left after the other blew out of the back of the pickup) and beating dad over the head with it until he gave the clicker up to Jake or vowed to watch an ENTIRE television program, football game, or commercial without changing it to avoid the conflict portion. I think Jake missed three game winning field goals, 5 plot altering conflicts in TV shows, and anything meaningful in general that occurred on TV that day. I just sat on the couch and laughed. It was a really nice afternoon of TV for me!
Anyway, I suppose this is an apology post. To all of you that have left me phone messages without responses, sent e-mails without responses, or just wondered if I fell down a rabbit's hole, I apologize. I am doing my best to catch up this weekend. Tough it out with me..I am sorry..I will be better when I have all the answers again!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Trip to Kansas
I made a super-quick, impromptu trip home last weekend. My parents were supposed to come visit us until my dad managed a triple Lutz off of the end of his pick up and broke his foot. For those of you that don't know my dad, he does things all the way and this foot fracture was no exception. They FAXED me a COPY of the x-ray and you could see the giant thing as clear as day (usually you can't even figure out what body part the x-ray is of once it has been copied, much less faxed). So my farmer father was on two crutches with his foot in a boot and not very happy about it. He and my mother were planning on coming to visit us, but it didn't look like a good idea with my dad dragging his broken self around. Jake was already headed to KS for work and I was able to swing a few days off (which probably won't happen again for a while but that is a totally different post) so off I trotted to the Columbia, SC airport at 4:30 a.m last Thursday to board a plane.
Driving to catch a flight is totally stressful. Of course it was worse because I was driving myself as Jake was already in KS. I don't care if you live 8 miles from that airport, there is always something that can happen to make you miss your flight, and at 4:30 in the morning you are pretty sure at least 3 of them will happen. Anyway, I did not get a flat tire, hit a deer, forget my luggage, get lost, get carjacked, hit a homeless guy, forget my ID, get mugged in the parking lot or try to smuggle a bomb on the plane, so I was just pretty happy when I plopped down in my seat on the plane. I promptly took my Dramamine, put on my sleep mask, IPOD, neck pillow and went back to sleep. I am the perfect seat companion on planes because I usually sit in the window seat and I hate to fly so much I try not to be conscious for any of the experience. Unfortunately if you are looking for a chatty seat companion you better lean across the aisle.
My poor dad picked me up at the airport looking pathetic but perky so we went to lunch at a really fun restaurant in Old Towne in Wichita. Some Latin joint that was delicious for sure. My mom and dad got a new car, so I am still recovering from the whiplash that is a result from my father's secret wish to drive all things as fast as they are possibly meant to go.
The rest of the weekend was really low key and relaxing. There were humongous and delicious steaks, some Stuga beers, and a trip to Brookville. Jake's folks came to Lindsborg on his dad's birthday/KSU game and Jake's mom brought 3 types of desserts. We are all still recovering from that. We also got to see all of our grandparents so that was really fantastic. I am also happy to report that with some much needed and brilliant Physical Therapy my dad was up walking with one crutch with a much smaller calf, and was much happier by the time I left. Mission Accomplished. (Probably good that he did well with one crutch as we managed to lose one out of the back of the pickup on Saturday evening...It was Toll-a-riffic.)
Usually when we come home we run around all over the place. I was sad to not see everyone, but really good to actually relax. Don't be sad if we didn't see you this time. We will be through for the Christmas Whirlwind of the world in December!
On the trip back Jake and I were on the same plane to Memphis, where we split up to head to our two different airports in SC, to our two separate cars both located about 1 hour from our house. Lord knows we would hate to do anything the easy way...that is just not how we roll!
Driving to catch a flight is totally stressful. Of course it was worse because I was driving myself as Jake was already in KS. I don't care if you live 8 miles from that airport, there is always something that can happen to make you miss your flight, and at 4:30 in the morning you are pretty sure at least 3 of them will happen. Anyway, I did not get a flat tire, hit a deer, forget my luggage, get lost, get carjacked, hit a homeless guy, forget my ID, get mugged in the parking lot or try to smuggle a bomb on the plane, so I was just pretty happy when I plopped down in my seat on the plane. I promptly took my Dramamine, put on my sleep mask, IPOD, neck pillow and went back to sleep. I am the perfect seat companion on planes because I usually sit in the window seat and I hate to fly so much I try not to be conscious for any of the experience. Unfortunately if you are looking for a chatty seat companion you better lean across the aisle.
My poor dad picked me up at the airport looking pathetic but perky so we went to lunch at a really fun restaurant in Old Towne in Wichita. Some Latin joint that was delicious for sure. My mom and dad got a new car, so I am still recovering from the whiplash that is a result from my father's secret wish to drive all things as fast as they are possibly meant to go.
The rest of the weekend was really low key and relaxing. There were humongous and delicious steaks, some Stuga beers, and a trip to Brookville. Jake's folks came to Lindsborg on his dad's birthday/KSU game and Jake's mom brought 3 types of desserts. We are all still recovering from that. We also got to see all of our grandparents so that was really fantastic. I am also happy to report that with some much needed and brilliant Physical Therapy my dad was up walking with one crutch with a much smaller calf, and was much happier by the time I left. Mission Accomplished. (Probably good that he did well with one crutch as we managed to lose one out of the back of the pickup on Saturday evening...It was Toll-a-riffic.)
Usually when we come home we run around all over the place. I was sad to not see everyone, but really good to actually relax. Don't be sad if we didn't see you this time. We will be through for the Christmas Whirlwind of the world in December!
On the trip back Jake and I were on the same plane to Memphis, where we split up to head to our two different airports in SC, to our two separate cars both located about 1 hour from our house. Lord knows we would hate to do anything the easy way...that is just not how we roll!
Last Triathlon of the Season
This post is two weeks overdue but I figure I should write it anyway as I have written about all of my other races and I would hate for this one to feel left out.
First though I must comment about how much I hate that the sun doesn't come up until almost 7:30. That is just ridiculous. Secondly I must comment that I hate the fact that I can never sleep in when given the opportunity. It is seriously ridiculous.
Okay, back to our regular scheduled programming. This triathlon was a fun one because it was very close to our house and was apparently the SEC college conference championships for the triathlon season. It was fun to see all the college triathletes. This triathlon was a terrible one because everything managed to be uphill both ways on the course for both the bike and run, and it was my first lake swim for a race.
When we swim in pools they release us two at a time to control the chaos. When we swim in the lake, they release 50 people at one time to try and swim along the same line (aka: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome in a lake) and it gets ugly. Of course none of the ugliness is intentional as we are all just competitive people, and I didn't hesitate to go all Mel Gibson on a guy and punch him in the leg during his sideways backstroking stupidity as he was swimming the WRONG DIRECTION and cutting everyone off. (I stand by my judgement that if someone wants to backstroke during the swim it is fine, but they should have to go last. It takes up too much room and they have no idea where they are going. It's just common sense.) I was wearing goggles but you sure can't see anything under water, which leads to most run-ins with folks. There was a lot of seaweed (lake weed?) and mud when we were getting in and out at the bank so that was really disgusting. There was also a really lovely 400 yard run up a 45-60 degree incline to our bikes that was not awesome in any way. I did it in 14 minutes and 3 seconds. (53rd place)
The bike portion was only 10 miles long and I had already ridden it with Jake once so it was not very exciting. I still pass a lot of people on really expensive and lightweight bicycles with my really cheap and heavy one so I get a lot of bizarre joy out of that. Unfortunately all of those people I pass on the the bike pass me back on the run....I wonder if they get the same joy? Dangit. The last part of the bike course is the most (or second most) brutal hill I have ever ridden on a bicycle on purpose. Yuck. I did it in 36 minutes and 42 seconds. (38th place)
I am really terrible at running. I just really hate it. I think I am slowly getting better at it, but I especially hate it after I have already swum 500 meters and ridden a bike 10 miles. I have still never run my 3.1 miles in under 30 minutes in a race...and it didn't change this time either. It was hilly and terrible and I had to walk twice to avoid my heart exploding and I got passed by people fatter than me and in worse shape than me. It was just a pretty depressing 31 minutes and 15 seconds. I have a triathlon pal that I race against. We just have a little competitive thing between the two of us. She beat me out of the water on the swim by 5 seconds, I kicked her rear end at the bike by 3 minutes, and then she ran a ridiculously fast 28 minutes and 37 seconds on the 3.1 miles to beat my 31 minutes and 15 seconds. So I ended up losing (me: 1 hour, 25 minutes, and 47 seconds) by 26 seconds to my friend. It was frustrating. Oh well.
I ended up being 49th place out of 103 racers in the Sprint Division, but won second place in my division and have a nifty shoulder pack thing (much better than the fanny pack) for my efforts. I would say that all in all this triathlon experience has been one of the more fun physically competitive things I have ever done in my life. I am not a very successful athlete usually so it is definitely neat to find something you are kind of good at... I should only get better too hopefully. I am hoping to get a good bike over the winter and speed up my slow, pathetic running. I will say that my running improved almost each race (34 minutes, 30.59, 31.58, 31.15 last race). Watch out world, I will be superfast next year!
First though I must comment about how much I hate that the sun doesn't come up until almost 7:30. That is just ridiculous. Secondly I must comment that I hate the fact that I can never sleep in when given the opportunity. It is seriously ridiculous.
Okay, back to our regular scheduled programming. This triathlon was a fun one because it was very close to our house and was apparently the SEC college conference championships for the triathlon season. It was fun to see all the college triathletes. This triathlon was a terrible one because everything managed to be uphill both ways on the course for both the bike and run, and it was my first lake swim for a race.
When we swim in pools they release us two at a time to control the chaos. When we swim in the lake, they release 50 people at one time to try and swim along the same line (aka: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome in a lake) and it gets ugly. Of course none of the ugliness is intentional as we are all just competitive people, and I didn't hesitate to go all Mel Gibson on a guy and punch him in the leg during his sideways backstroking stupidity as he was swimming the WRONG DIRECTION and cutting everyone off. (I stand by my judgement that if someone wants to backstroke during the swim it is fine, but they should have to go last. It takes up too much room and they have no idea where they are going. It's just common sense.) I was wearing goggles but you sure can't see anything under water, which leads to most run-ins with folks. There was a lot of seaweed (lake weed?) and mud when we were getting in and out at the bank so that was really disgusting. There was also a really lovely 400 yard run up a 45-60 degree incline to our bikes that was not awesome in any way. I did it in 14 minutes and 3 seconds. (53rd place)
The bike portion was only 10 miles long and I had already ridden it with Jake once so it was not very exciting. I still pass a lot of people on really expensive and lightweight bicycles with my really cheap and heavy one so I get a lot of bizarre joy out of that. Unfortunately all of those people I pass on the the bike pass me back on the run....I wonder if they get the same joy? Dangit. The last part of the bike course is the most (or second most) brutal hill I have ever ridden on a bicycle on purpose. Yuck. I did it in 36 minutes and 42 seconds. (38th place)
I am really terrible at running. I just really hate it. I think I am slowly getting better at it, but I especially hate it after I have already swum 500 meters and ridden a bike 10 miles. I have still never run my 3.1 miles in under 30 minutes in a race...and it didn't change this time either. It was hilly and terrible and I had to walk twice to avoid my heart exploding and I got passed by people fatter than me and in worse shape than me. It was just a pretty depressing 31 minutes and 15 seconds. I have a triathlon pal that I race against. We just have a little competitive thing between the two of us. She beat me out of the water on the swim by 5 seconds, I kicked her rear end at the bike by 3 minutes, and then she ran a ridiculously fast 28 minutes and 37 seconds on the 3.1 miles to beat my 31 minutes and 15 seconds. So I ended up losing (me: 1 hour, 25 minutes, and 47 seconds) by 26 seconds to my friend. It was frustrating. Oh well.
I ended up being 49th place out of 103 racers in the Sprint Division, but won second place in my division and have a nifty shoulder pack thing (much better than the fanny pack) for my efforts. I would say that all in all this triathlon experience has been one of the more fun physically competitive things I have ever done in my life. I am not a very successful athlete usually so it is definitely neat to find something you are kind of good at... I should only get better too hopefully. I am hoping to get a good bike over the winter and speed up my slow, pathetic running. I will say that my running improved almost each race (34 minutes, 30.59, 31.58, 31.15 last race). Watch out world, I will be superfast next year!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Homage to Grammy Jane
I have a lot of blog catching up to do. I need to write about my last triathlon and my quick trip to KS to see my parents. I don't have time to get into it all tonight, but my latest activities today made me giggle and think of my Grandma. She was 90 pounds soaking wet after a box of Russell Stovers and a six pack of Coke but moved her furniture all over her homes like she was 2 burly young men.
I Grammy Jane'd the heck out of the apartment tonight. I seriously don't like living here. No secret. I seriously haven't been trying very hard to not hate it. I seriously never re-arrange or try to make it better just out of spite for the apartment. Until this evening. Jake made the mistake of leaving me alone in the apartment after I spent the weekend with my mother...Furniture Queen Mover Jr. I got right to it tonight. Magazine-under-the-corner-of-the-buffet-shoving-it-across-the-room kinda get to it.
I think the feng shui is definitely better. High five Grammy Jane! Thanks for all you taught me!
I Grammy Jane'd the heck out of the apartment tonight. I seriously don't like living here. No secret. I seriously haven't been trying very hard to not hate it. I seriously never re-arrange or try to make it better just out of spite for the apartment. Until this evening. Jake made the mistake of leaving me alone in the apartment after I spent the weekend with my mother...Furniture Queen Mover Jr. I got right to it tonight. Magazine-under-the-corner-of-the-buffet-shoving-it-across-the-room kinda get to it.
I think the feng shui is definitely better. High five Grammy Jane! Thanks for all you taught me!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Freaking Internet
I would imagine everyone can appreciate that I don't take a bunch of picture of myself in my triathlon get up to work so everyone can see me in all my glory. It is not a sight I am particularly proud of (sorry to end with a preposition but I am tired). However, one of my co-workers dug up a bunch of pics of me at the Lauren's YMCA triathlon on the Internet and printed them off...and then wrote fun little captions and posted them at work. It was really bad. Spandex is not good on anyone, but especially not good when you don't know that someone is taking pictures of you and you have no chance to try and minimize the effects.. I imagine that the images are burned into the backs of their minds for good! I don't think there is anything else of me on the internet, but if there is I am sure they will find it.
Why Did I Do That On Purpose?
Titles for the blog entries are hard to come up with sometimes. I also am not sure if I should capitalize every word, only have the beginning capitalized like a real sentence, or maybe I should just write the whole thing in lower case to make it seem less urgent. I also think it is funny when people think you are yelling at them why you write in all caps (either handwriting or on the computer)...I am just sloppy at writing in cursive in real life so often choose to use upper case so folks can read it. I digress from the original point of this blog.
So I rode my bike 28 miles today with Jake. It was brutal and sucktastic. The course was really hilly and long and there was a lot of traffic. The route was Jake's bike course for his first Olympic distance triathlon he is doing this weekend so it will give him a good edge on his competition...mentally at least. Seriously it was really far. There was a terrible hill up to the car at the end. If there hadn't been so many people on the golf course I seriously would have walked my bike to the end.
I have my last sprint triathlon this weekend and it should be fun. It is my first swim that is not in a pool and did I mention the bike and run course will be seriously hilly? Yuck. Nothing like getting up at 5 a.m to go kick your own butt for no reason except for a bizarre sense of accomplishment...and getting to go eat at IHOP afterwards because you have finally burned enough calories in your life to eat the chicken fried steak skillet.
I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A REALLY NICE WEEK...not yelling at all.
So I rode my bike 28 miles today with Jake. It was brutal and sucktastic. The course was really hilly and long and there was a lot of traffic. The route was Jake's bike course for his first Olympic distance triathlon he is doing this weekend so it will give him a good edge on his competition...mentally at least. Seriously it was really far. There was a terrible hill up to the car at the end. If there hadn't been so many people on the golf course I seriously would have walked my bike to the end.
I have my last sprint triathlon this weekend and it should be fun. It is my first swim that is not in a pool and did I mention the bike and run course will be seriously hilly? Yuck. Nothing like getting up at 5 a.m to go kick your own butt for no reason except for a bizarre sense of accomplishment...and getting to go eat at IHOP afterwards because you have finally burned enough calories in your life to eat the chicken fried steak skillet.
I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A REALLY NICE WEEK...not yelling at all.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
The Awesomeness of NetFlix
Netflix is very solid. It is one of those things were you send away for movies and they show up in your mailbox, then you watch them and put them back in your mailbox. It is a little like magic. However, the list must be constantly monitored to ensure that Jake does not make all of the decisions or I will end up with all the Rocky, Rambo, and Star Wars movies they will allow us to have...oh and anything with Ronald Reagan (you would really be surprised at how many movies there are with good old Ronny).. and it will occur during a week when he is out of town and I could be watching something entertaining and mindless (my favorite genre).
The best part is that it prevents me from having to go to the nastiest Hollywood video ever. It would not be the flagship store for sure. I am pretty sure corporate has not been here since the grand opening. There is not a lot of competition for videos here in G-wood and they have figured out that the market is cornered so they can pretty much get away with anything. It is not that they are rude (as one employee nicely held the door open for me while they were smoking from inside) or unfriendly (as two of them were nice enough to speak at a tremendously loud volume about a really unattractive store incident so that I could participate in the story) as just generally rank and unsavory. The store smells like what I would imagine the inside of a nose smells like (maybe the underside of a toenail) and they are always out of everything except Tyler Perry movies and HBO specials.
The best part is that it prevents me from having to go to the nastiest Hollywood video ever. It would not be the flagship store for sure. I am pretty sure corporate has not been here since the grand opening. There is not a lot of competition for videos here in G-wood and they have figured out that the market is cornered so they can pretty much get away with anything. It is not that they are rude (as one employee nicely held the door open for me while they were smoking from inside) or unfriendly (as two of them were nice enough to speak at a tremendously loud volume about a really unattractive store incident so that I could participate in the story) as just generally rank and unsavory. The store smells like what I would imagine the inside of a nose smells like (maybe the underside of a toenail) and they are always out of everything except Tyler Perry movies and HBO specials.
Anyway, can't even remember what caused me to write this. The "what the inside of a nose must smell like" made me laugh so hard I forgot my train of thought. Oh well. Anyway, I guess I should close by saying that I am thankful for this brilliant service as it was that Netflix that helped several other people confirm that I have a soul last weekend by sending me a movie that caused me to cry for 1.75 hours for "entertainment" in front of 2 really surprised folks. I am fixing the list so that it is only full of ridiculous crap.
Out of Gas..For Real
The southeastern portion of the United States is out of gas...seriously. It is very weird. Apparently we are on a totally different supply chain than you lucky Kansas folks and ours was all torn up by the 5 hurricanes that have hit in the Gulf. At first it was just people being stupid and causing problems (which I think still might be part of the problem) but now we are actually out of gas all over the place. It is very odd to try and plan where you are going based on the possibility that there might not be any gas to get you home with. We were going to go to Greenville for a 5K and to return some pants this weekend but decided it wasn't really a necessary trip and thought we would wait until we had other reasons to go. I realize that a lot of folks cannot afford the gas to do things, but it is completely different than there just not being any gas. Bizarre.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Funky
It is rainy, about 70 degrees and a beautiful time to lie around and do nothing. I have my last triathlon of the season in two weeks but I have no desire to get off of the couch. ZERO.
I should get off of the couch because I ate my weight in Peanut Butter M&M's today. It was awesomely delicious but somewhat nauseating.
This is all really about khaki pants though...let's not try to hide it. I am currently wearing a pair of pants that I bought my first year out of PT school (more than 5 years) because I have been unable to find additional pants that I like and then intermittently give up on looking out of frustration and spite. These are my favorite pants. They are too big. That is a fact. They are kinda ratty around the bottom. That is a fact. They have a small hole in them at the base of the pocket on one side because that is where the spare button sewn to the inside of the pocket wore through them. That is a fact.
I tried to buy 2 new pairs of khakis this week. I went the mall in Greenville and tried them all on. All too short. But then all the store people snooker me into ordering them online in "Tall". Now, those of you that are short will agree. Those of you that are "regular" are stupid, and I will stomp you will my size 11.5 feet and grab you with my really long arms. "Tall" does not mean that the pants are longer in the leg, no, no. It means that they are also longer in the rise...which I will refer to as "crotch" because it makes me laugh more and the jokes are funnier that way. The regular sized person in the store tells me that I need pants that are "Long" not "Tall" but no one makes those in regular khakis. I can't do all of my crazy job requirements in nice pants, they just get ruined or ripped or get bodily fluids on them. I am seriously going to have to get janitors pants in some sort of a men's size just so it is functional. I digress. Anyway, when I buy pants that are "Tall" and extra long in the rise I develop a near fatal disease called "Captain Long Crotch" which is a terribly disfiguring disease where the pants come up too high on my waist, get all gappy in the back, the crotch sags down to mid thigh and the pockets stick out like I am stuffed into them like a sausage despite the fact the pants are entirely too big. What an awesome deal! I am hot! That is why it is fatal...because I want to jump from a high building when I see my reflection.
So that was one pair of the "perfect" pants the folks helped me order. The second pair was my own fault. I assumed since the had the same name (why do styles of pants get people's names at some stores?) they would fit the same as the pants I already had and liked of the same name. Following? I even called up the company and quizzed the girl about what size I should order. Up or down? She assured me they would be fantastic. So I eagerly tear open the box and attempt to put them on. Did they send me a child's pants? Did I order from a leprechaun store? AAAAARRRGGHH! Jake then walks in the room and laughs because it looks like I stole the pants from a 10 year old, they were so tiny...but ironically EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER PANTS.
So I quit. I got up this morning and ironed my "Crappiest Pants In the World" and proudly wore them to work...with my trail running shoes and some sort of belt that you thread through two half circles that I mess up sometimes (Nikki just had a stroke). That will teach society. Make it too hard and this is what you get.
Luckily they are too big because there was extra room for M&M's...Bitsy loves M&M's...
I should get off of the couch because I ate my weight in Peanut Butter M&M's today. It was awesomely delicious but somewhat nauseating.
This is all really about khaki pants though...let's not try to hide it. I am currently wearing a pair of pants that I bought my first year out of PT school (more than 5 years) because I have been unable to find additional pants that I like and then intermittently give up on looking out of frustration and spite. These are my favorite pants. They are too big. That is a fact. They are kinda ratty around the bottom. That is a fact. They have a small hole in them at the base of the pocket on one side because that is where the spare button sewn to the inside of the pocket wore through them. That is a fact.
I tried to buy 2 new pairs of khakis this week. I went the mall in Greenville and tried them all on. All too short. But then all the store people snooker me into ordering them online in "Tall". Now, those of you that are short will agree. Those of you that are "regular" are stupid, and I will stomp you will my size 11.5 feet and grab you with my really long arms. "Tall" does not mean that the pants are longer in the leg, no, no. It means that they are also longer in the rise...which I will refer to as "crotch" because it makes me laugh more and the jokes are funnier that way. The regular sized person in the store tells me that I need pants that are "Long" not "Tall" but no one makes those in regular khakis. I can't do all of my crazy job requirements in nice pants, they just get ruined or ripped or get bodily fluids on them. I am seriously going to have to get janitors pants in some sort of a men's size just so it is functional. I digress. Anyway, when I buy pants that are "Tall" and extra long in the rise I develop a near fatal disease called "Captain Long Crotch" which is a terribly disfiguring disease where the pants come up too high on my waist, get all gappy in the back, the crotch sags down to mid thigh and the pockets stick out like I am stuffed into them like a sausage despite the fact the pants are entirely too big. What an awesome deal! I am hot! That is why it is fatal...because I want to jump from a high building when I see my reflection.
So that was one pair of the "perfect" pants the folks helped me order. The second pair was my own fault. I assumed since the had the same name (why do styles of pants get people's names at some stores?) they would fit the same as the pants I already had and liked of the same name. Following? I even called up the company and quizzed the girl about what size I should order. Up or down? She assured me they would be fantastic. So I eagerly tear open the box and attempt to put them on. Did they send me a child's pants? Did I order from a leprechaun store? AAAAARRRGGHH! Jake then walks in the room and laughs because it looks like I stole the pants from a 10 year old, they were so tiny...but ironically EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER PANTS.
So I quit. I got up this morning and ironed my "Crappiest Pants In the World" and proudly wore them to work...with my trail running shoes and some sort of belt that you thread through two half circles that I mess up sometimes (Nikki just had a stroke). That will teach society. Make it too hard and this is what you get.
Luckily they are too big because there was extra room for M&M's...Bitsy loves M&M's...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
World's Craziest Sandwich
Not usually blog worthy, but seriously I had the best sandwich today. It almost killed me.
Get this. Focaccia bread, jerk chicken breast, jalapenos, pineapple, mozzarella cheese all melty on top, chipolte aolia. Not just a few jalapenos, a million. I was breathing fire but could not stop eating it because it was so good. I thought I was being a wimp until Jake tried some of it and started sweating... MMMM, delicious.
Get this. Focaccia bread, jerk chicken breast, jalapenos, pineapple, mozzarella cheese all melty on top, chipolte aolia. Not just a few jalapenos, a million. I was breathing fire but could not stop eating it because it was so good. I thought I was being a wimp until Jake tried some of it and started sweating... MMMM, delicious.
"And that's were I got this fanny pack."
I forgot to write about our last triathlon. I am totally shocked I forgot because it was my best one yet! This one will be shorter than my other descriptions so no worries...you won't need any extra food or clothes nearby to get through this one!
Jake and I decided on the spur of the moment to do the Laurens YMCA Sprint Triathlon last weekend. The other triathlons were chosen way in advance so I had plenty of time to get caught up in my own head and become a mental case. This one we decided to do on Thursday for a Saturday race. We chose it because it was nearby and in it's first year so we thought that it would be pretty easy and not too crowded (only 45 entrants..12 women). We didn't even do our normal work of driving the bike and run courses to see what we were up against. We were just going to be relaxed to see what happened.
We got our stuff together and got up there around 6:00 a.m. Put the bikes up, put our junk out, registered, etc. It was pretty well organized for the first year. But then people just kept showing up. And not just random people, people with pointy aerodynamic helmets and really expensive bikes, and people we knew were people that did triathlons for money. Harumph. So this totally overwhelmed all of the volunteers. There was no space on the bike racks so people had their $5,000 bikes stuck in the bushes and leaning up against the building..no one got really rattled about it so it was good.
The actual race was pretty great. I swam super fast in the pool (under 6:30) somehow which is good because it is fast, but bad because it can mean you end up having nothing left for the bike and the run.
Oh well. I ran out and jumped on my bike. That went a lot faster than usual, so I was worried I had forgotten to put on my shoes or something...but I was fully clothed and on the road. Once again I am pedalling my trusty 400 pound mountain bike and depressing people with good bikes by passing them. I also started yelling "GO MOUNTAIN BIKER" at everyone I saw riding a mountain bike. I think I counted 4 of them. I beat them all by about 100 years. I was pedaling my bike too fast too, so I was pretty sure I would die on the run. I was right.
I managed to get off my bike without falling into any bushes and took off on the run. Like I said earlier, we didn't drive any of the courses so imagine my surprise when I turned the corner to get onto the run course and it was STRAIGHT UP. I am not even kidding. I ran uphill for 1.5 miles, then downhill for 1.7 miles. It was freaking brutal. The worst part is that at all of these races the finish line is situated at the top of a hill...GOOD GOD...I just ran 3 miles, take some pity on me and put it at the bottom of the hill. I was trying to run the 5K in under 30 minutes but missed it by 1 minute and 58 seconds. Everyone else said it was stupid hard too.
We headed home to relax and stopped at IHOP for brunch. I don't often get hungry for IHOP, but it was totally delicious. The lady thought we had really bad tattoos...they were our shoulder numbers from the race. It was funny.
Even funnier was the next day at work when I walked in and found a bright blue fanny pack on my desk. Apparently I had managed to win second place in my age division (what?) and someone had picked up my prize for me (we always leave early because we never win anything) and given it to one of my co-workers. The best part was that the person who beat me in my age group was a near professional racer from the triathlon store in Greenville. She beat me by 20 minutes, was 1st place overall for the women, and was running the run course (straight uphill) for a cool down after she was finished with the race as I was coming down the hill. She almost lapped me. It was funny.
I am now a proud owner of a fanny pack. It is the medal of my only individual success I have ever had in a sporting event in my life...and I can't wear it anywhere. That is totally my life.
Jake and I decided on the spur of the moment to do the Laurens YMCA Sprint Triathlon last weekend. The other triathlons were chosen way in advance so I had plenty of time to get caught up in my own head and become a mental case. This one we decided to do on Thursday for a Saturday race. We chose it because it was nearby and in it's first year so we thought that it would be pretty easy and not too crowded (only 45 entrants..12 women). We didn't even do our normal work of driving the bike and run courses to see what we were up against. We were just going to be relaxed to see what happened.
We got our stuff together and got up there around 6:00 a.m. Put the bikes up, put our junk out, registered, etc. It was pretty well organized for the first year. But then people just kept showing up. And not just random people, people with pointy aerodynamic helmets and really expensive bikes, and people we knew were people that did triathlons for money. Harumph. So this totally overwhelmed all of the volunteers. There was no space on the bike racks so people had their $5,000 bikes stuck in the bushes and leaning up against the building..no one got really rattled about it so it was good.
The actual race was pretty great. I swam super fast in the pool (under 6:30) somehow which is good because it is fast, but bad because it can mean you end up having nothing left for the bike and the run.
Oh well. I ran out and jumped on my bike. That went a lot faster than usual, so I was worried I had forgotten to put on my shoes or something...but I was fully clothed and on the road. Once again I am pedalling my trusty 400 pound mountain bike and depressing people with good bikes by passing them. I also started yelling "GO MOUNTAIN BIKER" at everyone I saw riding a mountain bike. I think I counted 4 of them. I beat them all by about 100 years. I was pedaling my bike too fast too, so I was pretty sure I would die on the run. I was right.
I managed to get off my bike without falling into any bushes and took off on the run. Like I said earlier, we didn't drive any of the courses so imagine my surprise when I turned the corner to get onto the run course and it was STRAIGHT UP. I am not even kidding. I ran uphill for 1.5 miles, then downhill for 1.7 miles. It was freaking brutal. The worst part is that at all of these races the finish line is situated at the top of a hill...GOOD GOD...I just ran 3 miles, take some pity on me and put it at the bottom of the hill. I was trying to run the 5K in under 30 minutes but missed it by 1 minute and 58 seconds. Everyone else said it was stupid hard too.
We headed home to relax and stopped at IHOP for brunch. I don't often get hungry for IHOP, but it was totally delicious. The lady thought we had really bad tattoos...they were our shoulder numbers from the race. It was funny.
Even funnier was the next day at work when I walked in and found a bright blue fanny pack on my desk. Apparently I had managed to win second place in my age division (what?) and someone had picked up my prize for me (we always leave early because we never win anything) and given it to one of my co-workers. The best part was that the person who beat me in my age group was a near professional racer from the triathlon store in Greenville. She beat me by 20 minutes, was 1st place overall for the women, and was running the run course (straight uphill) for a cool down after she was finished with the race as I was coming down the hill. She almost lapped me. It was funny.
I am now a proud owner of a fanny pack. It is the medal of my only individual success I have ever had in a sporting event in my life...and I can't wear it anywhere. That is totally my life.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Hurricane
In 3rd grade I remember having the section on weather and developing the ability to compare and contrast tornadoes and hurricanes. Pretty straight forward really you think. Both are bad weather and destructive, both in their own different and special ways. I will have to say that now having lived in hot spots for both, their differences are way more intricate than just cyclones over land vs. cyclones over water.
Tornadoes strike quickly with little notice and there seems to be a lot of luck associated with what gets wiped out and what doesn't. There is lots of severe devastation over short areas (per individual tornado) and the time of danger is usually relatively short. You don't have much time to think about what to do, you just do it. It is sudden, life threatening stress, but the threat is over pretty quickly and you can get down to cleaning up. We know very little about tornadoes and really struggle to understand and predict them.
Hurricanes give you days of notice and 15 different predicted paths. They even have a name..that is creepy to me. (PS: All this talk of hurricane Ike is making my dog nuts. He keeps hearing his name on TV, stands up and looks around expecting a treat or command.) Once you see it is actually heading you way you have to do all sorts of fun stuff. Boarding up your house, sandbagging, etc, all of which takes forever but may save your home. These things are fruitless against a tornado. If a tornado decides your house is gone, it just is. There is nothing you can do about it. With a hurricane you have days of weather that is relentless and widespread. Hanna is causing rain from North Carolina to DC right now, and is expected to ultimately make it all the way to New York City. You are also making one million different decisions once you realize it is coming your way. Do you evacuate and leave your home? What do you pack? Where are you headed and how long are you gone?
Life and death in a basement for 2 minutes I can handle. You have no control over what happens and there are no decisions to be made. Days worth of stress and decisions over what to do would ruin me. These folks along the coast live in some of the most beautiful places in the country, but with that comes a lot of extra mental cost.
Tornadoes strike quickly with little notice and there seems to be a lot of luck associated with what gets wiped out and what doesn't. There is lots of severe devastation over short areas (per individual tornado) and the time of danger is usually relatively short. You don't have much time to think about what to do, you just do it. It is sudden, life threatening stress, but the threat is over pretty quickly and you can get down to cleaning up. We know very little about tornadoes and really struggle to understand and predict them.
Hurricanes give you days of notice and 15 different predicted paths. They even have a name..that is creepy to me. (PS: All this talk of hurricane Ike is making my dog nuts. He keeps hearing his name on TV, stands up and looks around expecting a treat or command.) Once you see it is actually heading you way you have to do all sorts of fun stuff. Boarding up your house, sandbagging, etc, all of which takes forever but may save your home. These things are fruitless against a tornado. If a tornado decides your house is gone, it just is. There is nothing you can do about it. With a hurricane you have days of weather that is relentless and widespread. Hanna is causing rain from North Carolina to DC right now, and is expected to ultimately make it all the way to New York City. You are also making one million different decisions once you realize it is coming your way. Do you evacuate and leave your home? What do you pack? Where are you headed and how long are you gone?
Life and death in a basement for 2 minutes I can handle. You have no control over what happens and there are no decisions to be made. Days worth of stress and decisions over what to do would ruin me. These folks along the coast live in some of the most beautiful places in the country, but with that comes a lot of extra mental cost.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Easily Distracted
I have been thinking about "THE ONE YEAR POST" for two weeks, then forgot to write it.
Awesome.
I wasn't sure what to put into it honestly. Would it be full of deep thoughts? Tears? Would it be REALLY long, brief, detailed, vague..no wonder I forgot to write it..stressful. I know it should open with a great big THANKS to all of you who have been keeping up with us over the last year. Especially to my family and Jake's family for coming out to visit...you too Richard. Nice to be able to show you all what we are doing out here and why we are out here. I am sure you all wonder! I also really appreciate everyone going to the trouble of keeping up with our antics over e-mail, phone, text, blog reading, whatever. It really does make it feel less far away when I get to chat with you all. I appreciate the effort from all of you!
We have done really well over the past year with new challenges with work, culture shock and trying all sorts of crazy new things (triathlon and grits are the major ones). I have been pretty homesick a few times, but that is to be expected this far from home...hence the name. It is cracking me up that sometimes I get all deep and wonder if I am trying to "find myself".. and then I fall in a bush with a bike and realize that I already know who I am no matter where I live.
Know that you are all in my thoughts everyday and I love that you are part of Jake and my adventure!
Awesome.
I wasn't sure what to put into it honestly. Would it be full of deep thoughts? Tears? Would it be REALLY long, brief, detailed, vague..no wonder I forgot to write it..stressful. I know it should open with a great big THANKS to all of you who have been keeping up with us over the last year. Especially to my family and Jake's family for coming out to visit...you too Richard. Nice to be able to show you all what we are doing out here and why we are out here. I am sure you all wonder! I also really appreciate everyone going to the trouble of keeping up with our antics over e-mail, phone, text, blog reading, whatever. It really does make it feel less far away when I get to chat with you all. I appreciate the effort from all of you!
We have done really well over the past year with new challenges with work, culture shock and trying all sorts of crazy new things (triathlon and grits are the major ones). I have been pretty homesick a few times, but that is to be expected this far from home...hence the name. It is cracking me up that sometimes I get all deep and wonder if I am trying to "find myself".. and then I fall in a bush with a bike and realize that I already know who I am no matter where I live.
Know that you are all in my thoughts everyday and I love that you are part of Jake and my adventure!
Laundry Goddess I Am Not!
It was bound to happen sometime in my life I guess. I had made it for 12 years of doing my own laundry without turning anything pink, but Wednesday I turned EVERYTHING pink (of Jake's that he likes). I put a beach towel that had been washed 100 times in with the "white load" and it bled all over everything. I can't say I take all the blame for it because I had no idea it had happened until it came out of the dryer. Jake was helping me and switched the laundry from washer to dryer and with the help of his trusty color blindness/lack of detail skills didn't notice that the laundry was PINK...not just a little either. Some of it was Pepto. In this load were several of Jake's most favorite things: shirt from our first 5K this summer, triathlon top he wears in all of the races and almost every pair of socks he owns. I don't know how I got lucky, but I did. So scroll down the blog to the pic of us after the first triathlon and picture his meshy, semi-gay shirt with the meshy stuff now a great shade of light pink....even gayer. He can't wear that or all the other guys will make fun of him.
So that leads me to today. I called Nikki for help guessing that the fashionista that she was she had dyed something at sometime. She was too busy laughing at me dying the top pink to begin with to be of any assistance. So, I am stirring a pot full of black water for 30 minutes in hopes that Jake's tri-top will emerge a semi-acceptable manly shade of something. He found the process fascinating and was looking around the apartment for anything else that needed dying. Luckily we decided we like Ike as a blonde and our bed comforter would be entirely to Emo in black so we restrained ourselves.
Wish me luck! Laundry Goddess signing off!
So that leads me to today. I called Nikki for help guessing that the fashionista that she was she had dyed something at sometime. She was too busy laughing at me dying the top pink to begin with to be of any assistance. So, I am stirring a pot full of black water for 30 minutes in hopes that Jake's tri-top will emerge a semi-acceptable manly shade of something. He found the process fascinating and was looking around the apartment for anything else that needed dying. Luckily we decided we like Ike as a blonde and our bed comforter would be entirely to Emo in black so we restrained ourselves.
Wish me luck! Laundry Goddess signing off!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Tri #2
*No pics yet. There will actually be a website with some "action shots". Should be funny.
Build Up- We decided to do the Greenville Sprint Triathlon but I didn’t get into the race initially. It was full when I tried to sign up 2 hours after Jake. I was wait-listed. I was also baffled that there was a wait-list. It seemed like a lot. I later found out this is the biggest triathlon in South Carolina. There were 600 people signed up. Again, that seemed like a lot. I was really intimidated and secretly hoping I would not get signed up. Asheville was fun and I enjoyed it, and I thought if I did one that was too intimidating I would not enjoy it as much and it might turn me off of the whole triathlon deal. Yeah I managed to get this worked up over a silly voluntary sport….don’t you all know me at all? Anyway, I was a little stressed when I actually got in. “Oh well, I am sure there will be a nice t-shirt”..that is what I thought to myself to convince myself to actually do it.
Pre-Race- Our alarm went off Saturday morning at 4:00. That is a ridiculous time to get up to do a voluntary exercise activity by the way. We got our stuff together the night before and headed to the car with our bikes and bags full of Lycra/goggles/heart monitors and other essential geek gear.
We drove along in the dark arguing because Jake thought I was packing him breakfast (which I DID NOT say I was doing Captain Misunderstanding, I am not your mother) when I turned and said “is that lightening?” “Holy crap yes” was the appropriate response as the sky opened and turned the highway into a hydroplane-a-riffic mess. Hhhmmm, the weather forecast yesterday said 78 at race time with a 10% chance of rain later in the day. It said nothing of deluge, lightning and insanity at 5 a.m. This is not optimum conditions for changing clothes outside, riding a bike and running…FYI.
We got our chips, got body marked (Some lady writes on you with a marker. FYI #2 Kathy, I was just “body marking” my sisters back in the day and deserved none of the punishment that was doled out my way!) and then stood around forever. FOREVER. We were waiting for them to decide if we could use the pool or not. Apparently they don’t like hundreds of people in a pool, even if it is inside, during a lightening storm. I think I respect that. If the pool part had been called off we would have just had to bike and run. That wouldn’t have been as cool at all. So we stood around. Did I mention if was FOREVER?
Usually you set up all your clothes by your bike, mess around with stuff and chat folks up, but it was raining and I decided to just change out of my backpack so there was nothing to set out. So instead I was bored and nervous. That is not an annoying combination for poor Jake at all. Luckily some of our triathlon pals from the last race showed up to distract me. It is fun to hang out with people and compare notes and be nervous together. Makes me feel not as crazy. PS: Changing out of my bag would be a triathlon no-no as the changing gets factored into your total time. But the idea of running in wet shoes and socks seemed to outweigh an extra few minutes. Jake was tough and set his stuff out. I am not tough….no lie. I know my limits and wet socks are one of them. I am not a total dummy….Oh if I had only known what a lie that statement would be later.
Swim- I got to met the lady I was starting beside beforehand which was really fun. She was super nice and it was only her second triathlon too. We discussed how neither of us was an awesome swimmer or minded if the other one passed. She did not mention she was Wonder-Triathlon Woman with an invisible set of gills and wings on her feet so I had a false sense of security that she was a rookie “like me”…Yeah, “like me” only a whole lot better.
Once I jumped in the pool I wasn’t nervous anymore. It is like taking a final. You are a mess the 3 days beforehand, but once you hit the chair you are fine. I had also already done this once before, so come on…It is also a little known fact that lots of people pee in the pool before the start. That keeps your mind off of being nervous and puts it squarely on DOING ALL YOU CAN TO NOT GET THE WATER IN YOUR MOUTH.
It was our turn (“GO #416”), we took off and suddenly I was just trying to stay in her wake. You can draft in the swim and not work as hard if you stay “in the bubbles”…You just hope that all the bubbles are coming from their turbulence…not from last night’s burritos. Anyway, so I am happy in the bubbles until some random lady wants in on the bubbles and doesn’t see me so she runs me clear out of the lane. I got T-boned while swimming. What the hell, I am huge and wearing a giant hot-pink shirt with ORCA on it!? I am a killer whale in hot pink for Pete’s sake, stay the hell out of my bubbles!
Anyway, I ended up falling 30 seconds behind her coming out of the pool, but was really happy when I looked at my watch and saw 9 min 36 sec, which was at least a full 30 seconds faster than my Asheville time. I RAN across the WET pool deck, out the door on the WET concrete sidewalk through the WET asphalt parking lot…all barefoot, violating all of the rules about running on wet surfaces I have ever heard. I would totally scream at a patient for being stupid enough to hurt themselves doing exactly what I did.
Transition 1
So in the haste of the lightening storm I did not pay attention when I was racking my bike. I have a mountain bike (aka: I am the kid driving the pinto at the prom..seriously) so there is only one way for it to get “racked”, by the seat. That means that the bar I put it on has to be high enough to get over my seat or handlebars. I was the first one to hang up my bike so I didn’t pay much attention that the clearance was a little short until I ran out to my bike to get on it and couldn’t get it off of the rack because it was too short somehow. HOLY CRAP, I am in a hurry and am carefully trying to lift up the ENTIRE bike rack with 5 other really expensive bikes on it to get my crappy bike out. Can’t remember exactly what happened, but I got out on the road.
Bike- I am pretty good on the bike and had a really nice ride. I got a ton of water on my face from the wet road (which is something you don’t really ever think about) but the course was easier than Asheville and I really enjoyed my 15 miles. I was totally relieved when I turned the corner into the transition area because there had been a lot of wrecks on the wet road and I had survived.
I had my feet halfway out of the pedal and was thinking about the run. A big crowd gathers in that area because you can see everyone come in and take pictures of them. I was thumbs upping and smiling because I had a great ride on my kick ass Pinto (it was 52:20 for a 17+mph average). I knew I had to get off my bike at the speed bump but wasn’t paying attention as I came around the corner and the line came sooner than I thought. That is when I clamped down on my wet brakes…then Physics and Gravity showed up and kicked my ass. I stopped on a dang dime and tried to get off my bike on the right side…except my left foot had slid back into my foot cage due to the sudden stop and was now stuck in the pedal.
Transition #2- So I am hopping on my right foot trying to free my left foot while slowing falling backwards down the incline behind me. I almost saved it like 10 times, but then my right foot hit the curb behind me and I fell into a bush…with my bike…with my left foot finally out the pedal. Luckily there were 150 people standing there to see it. I jump out and take off like it was no big deal (because it wasn’t even in the top 5 falls of the past five years...if only these silly people knew about my sick falling skillz) and took off running with my bike to get ready for the run…covered in mud, leaves, and bush. I am pretty sure there is a picture of it out there in Internet world or on YouTube. Fabulous.
Run- My near death experience with the bush was not nearly as traumatic as my shoes and socks full of water after the bike. I didn’t think about that happening as the water was shooting all over me during the bike ride. Running is really my least favorite part. I am just bad at it. Fact. The last course was flat for the run and I made it in 34 minutes and I was hoping to do the same. The bike course had been 3.5 miles longer, so I knew my time would not be as fast in total, but was hoping to break 30 minutes in the run. Amazing that I was excited to do that in June at the first 5K I ran..that was without swimming 400 meters and riding a bike 15 miles beforehand! Then the run course loomed ahead.
It was a hilly mug with some trail running after a huge rainstorm. It was rocky and scary and “uphell”. It was also a two loop course. I had to run past the finish line to run the second lap… Yuck and depressing.
I did get to see Jake and some of our pals cheering me on. I totally forgot that I was muddy, leafy, and bushy until I ran past and heard Jake say “Why are you so dirty?” I turned around and yelled “because I fell off of my bike” and just kept going. His face was hysterical. I can’t imagine what everyone running by me thought had happened. Anyway, the uphill junk was evil so I had to walk a few times and knew my run time would be terrible. I didn’t have anyone to race against to the finish, but still heard Jake yelling “stride it out”...Still don’t know what that means. I ran across the finish line and hit my watch and almost died of shock. I ran that nasty course in 30 min 59 sec. Pretty darn good.
Whole Thing- I ended up doing the whole race in 1 hour 37 minutes. The Asheville one in 1:32 but the bike was 3.5 miles shorter so I really did better only it took longer. Weird. Jake did his in 1:22, but he is more awesome than I am at all the events. He is just lucky that being really, really good looking is not an event or I would totally kick his behind in the whole thing.
The field at this triathlon was about one million times tougher than the Asheville one. I did much, much better and placed much, much worse. The fastest lady did it in 1:05, the slowest in 2:08. I fell right in the middle. I improved all my events though and feel really good about the whole thing. The next one is in October, and I definitely have some ideas on how to improve! But, I now know what it is like to race with 600 other people and can say that I competed in the largest triathlon held in South Carolina. As I sit here and think about it, my time was really not bad at all after you take into account I dressed out of my bag, got my bike stuck under the rack, and fell into a bush. All in all a really solid day…and all of this before 9:20 a.m.
Build Up- We decided to do the Greenville Sprint Triathlon but I didn’t get into the race initially. It was full when I tried to sign up 2 hours after Jake. I was wait-listed. I was also baffled that there was a wait-list. It seemed like a lot. I later found out this is the biggest triathlon in South Carolina. There were 600 people signed up. Again, that seemed like a lot. I was really intimidated and secretly hoping I would not get signed up. Asheville was fun and I enjoyed it, and I thought if I did one that was too intimidating I would not enjoy it as much and it might turn me off of the whole triathlon deal. Yeah I managed to get this worked up over a silly voluntary sport….don’t you all know me at all? Anyway, I was a little stressed when I actually got in. “Oh well, I am sure there will be a nice t-shirt”..that is what I thought to myself to convince myself to actually do it.
Pre-Race- Our alarm went off Saturday morning at 4:00. That is a ridiculous time to get up to do a voluntary exercise activity by the way. We got our stuff together the night before and headed to the car with our bikes and bags full of Lycra/goggles/heart monitors and other essential geek gear.
We drove along in the dark arguing because Jake thought I was packing him breakfast (which I DID NOT say I was doing Captain Misunderstanding, I am not your mother) when I turned and said “is that lightening?” “Holy crap yes” was the appropriate response as the sky opened and turned the highway into a hydroplane-a-riffic mess. Hhhmmm, the weather forecast yesterday said 78 at race time with a 10% chance of rain later in the day. It said nothing of deluge, lightning and insanity at 5 a.m. This is not optimum conditions for changing clothes outside, riding a bike and running…FYI.
We got our chips, got body marked (Some lady writes on you with a marker. FYI #2 Kathy, I was just “body marking” my sisters back in the day and deserved none of the punishment that was doled out my way!) and then stood around forever. FOREVER. We were waiting for them to decide if we could use the pool or not. Apparently they don’t like hundreds of people in a pool, even if it is inside, during a lightening storm. I think I respect that. If the pool part had been called off we would have just had to bike and run. That wouldn’t have been as cool at all. So we stood around. Did I mention if was FOREVER?
Usually you set up all your clothes by your bike, mess around with stuff and chat folks up, but it was raining and I decided to just change out of my backpack so there was nothing to set out. So instead I was bored and nervous. That is not an annoying combination for poor Jake at all. Luckily some of our triathlon pals from the last race showed up to distract me. It is fun to hang out with people and compare notes and be nervous together. Makes me feel not as crazy. PS: Changing out of my bag would be a triathlon no-no as the changing gets factored into your total time. But the idea of running in wet shoes and socks seemed to outweigh an extra few minutes. Jake was tough and set his stuff out. I am not tough….no lie. I know my limits and wet socks are one of them. I am not a total dummy….Oh if I had only known what a lie that statement would be later.
Swim- I got to met the lady I was starting beside beforehand which was really fun. She was super nice and it was only her second triathlon too. We discussed how neither of us was an awesome swimmer or minded if the other one passed. She did not mention she was Wonder-Triathlon Woman with an invisible set of gills and wings on her feet so I had a false sense of security that she was a rookie “like me”…Yeah, “like me” only a whole lot better.
Once I jumped in the pool I wasn’t nervous anymore. It is like taking a final. You are a mess the 3 days beforehand, but once you hit the chair you are fine. I had also already done this once before, so come on…It is also a little known fact that lots of people pee in the pool before the start. That keeps your mind off of being nervous and puts it squarely on DOING ALL YOU CAN TO NOT GET THE WATER IN YOUR MOUTH.
It was our turn (“GO #416”), we took off and suddenly I was just trying to stay in her wake. You can draft in the swim and not work as hard if you stay “in the bubbles”…You just hope that all the bubbles are coming from their turbulence…not from last night’s burritos. Anyway, so I am happy in the bubbles until some random lady wants in on the bubbles and doesn’t see me so she runs me clear out of the lane. I got T-boned while swimming. What the hell, I am huge and wearing a giant hot-pink shirt with ORCA on it!? I am a killer whale in hot pink for Pete’s sake, stay the hell out of my bubbles!
Anyway, I ended up falling 30 seconds behind her coming out of the pool, but was really happy when I looked at my watch and saw 9 min 36 sec, which was at least a full 30 seconds faster than my Asheville time. I RAN across the WET pool deck, out the door on the WET concrete sidewalk through the WET asphalt parking lot…all barefoot, violating all of the rules about running on wet surfaces I have ever heard. I would totally scream at a patient for being stupid enough to hurt themselves doing exactly what I did.
Transition 1
So in the haste of the lightening storm I did not pay attention when I was racking my bike. I have a mountain bike (aka: I am the kid driving the pinto at the prom..seriously) so there is only one way for it to get “racked”, by the seat. That means that the bar I put it on has to be high enough to get over my seat or handlebars. I was the first one to hang up my bike so I didn’t pay much attention that the clearance was a little short until I ran out to my bike to get on it and couldn’t get it off of the rack because it was too short somehow. HOLY CRAP, I am in a hurry and am carefully trying to lift up the ENTIRE bike rack with 5 other really expensive bikes on it to get my crappy bike out. Can’t remember exactly what happened, but I got out on the road.
Bike- I am pretty good on the bike and had a really nice ride. I got a ton of water on my face from the wet road (which is something you don’t really ever think about) but the course was easier than Asheville and I really enjoyed my 15 miles. I was totally relieved when I turned the corner into the transition area because there had been a lot of wrecks on the wet road and I had survived.
I had my feet halfway out of the pedal and was thinking about the run. A big crowd gathers in that area because you can see everyone come in and take pictures of them. I was thumbs upping and smiling because I had a great ride on my kick ass Pinto (it was 52:20 for a 17+mph average). I knew I had to get off my bike at the speed bump but wasn’t paying attention as I came around the corner and the line came sooner than I thought. That is when I clamped down on my wet brakes…then Physics and Gravity showed up and kicked my ass. I stopped on a dang dime and tried to get off my bike on the right side…except my left foot had slid back into my foot cage due to the sudden stop and was now stuck in the pedal.
Transition #2- So I am hopping on my right foot trying to free my left foot while slowing falling backwards down the incline behind me. I almost saved it like 10 times, but then my right foot hit the curb behind me and I fell into a bush…with my bike…with my left foot finally out the pedal. Luckily there were 150 people standing there to see it. I jump out and take off like it was no big deal (because it wasn’t even in the top 5 falls of the past five years...if only these silly people knew about my sick falling skillz) and took off running with my bike to get ready for the run…covered in mud, leaves, and bush. I am pretty sure there is a picture of it out there in Internet world or on YouTube. Fabulous.
Run- My near death experience with the bush was not nearly as traumatic as my shoes and socks full of water after the bike. I didn’t think about that happening as the water was shooting all over me during the bike ride. Running is really my least favorite part. I am just bad at it. Fact. The last course was flat for the run and I made it in 34 minutes and I was hoping to do the same. The bike course had been 3.5 miles longer, so I knew my time would not be as fast in total, but was hoping to break 30 minutes in the run. Amazing that I was excited to do that in June at the first 5K I ran..that was without swimming 400 meters and riding a bike 15 miles beforehand! Then the run course loomed ahead.
It was a hilly mug with some trail running after a huge rainstorm. It was rocky and scary and “uphell”. It was also a two loop course. I had to run past the finish line to run the second lap… Yuck and depressing.
I did get to see Jake and some of our pals cheering me on. I totally forgot that I was muddy, leafy, and bushy until I ran past and heard Jake say “Why are you so dirty?” I turned around and yelled “because I fell off of my bike” and just kept going. His face was hysterical. I can’t imagine what everyone running by me thought had happened. Anyway, the uphill junk was evil so I had to walk a few times and knew my run time would be terrible. I didn’t have anyone to race against to the finish, but still heard Jake yelling “stride it out”...Still don’t know what that means. I ran across the finish line and hit my watch and almost died of shock. I ran that nasty course in 30 min 59 sec. Pretty darn good.
Whole Thing- I ended up doing the whole race in 1 hour 37 minutes. The Asheville one in 1:32 but the bike was 3.5 miles shorter so I really did better only it took longer. Weird. Jake did his in 1:22, but he is more awesome than I am at all the events. He is just lucky that being really, really good looking is not an event or I would totally kick his behind in the whole thing.
The field at this triathlon was about one million times tougher than the Asheville one. I did much, much better and placed much, much worse. The fastest lady did it in 1:05, the slowest in 2:08. I fell right in the middle. I improved all my events though and feel really good about the whole thing. The next one is in October, and I definitely have some ideas on how to improve! But, I now know what it is like to race with 600 other people and can say that I competed in the largest triathlon held in South Carolina. As I sit here and think about it, my time was really not bad at all after you take into account I dressed out of my bag, got my bike stuck under the rack, and fell into a bush. All in all a really solid day…and all of this before 9:20 a.m.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Stupidly Nervous
Jake and I have another triathlon this weekend. It is in Greenville. It was full, but I got in off of the waiting list. A race with a waiting list? The race is HUGELY big with like 600 folks. Yikes. I am not racing in the new person division, instead I am going with people my age. I feel good about it. I think racing with people that know what is going on will help me...if I am not too depressed they are all passing me all over the place. I need to keep that in mind. It is going to increase the amount of stupidity I feel riding my mountain bike, but I will get over it. Everyone else has a "road bike" which is built for speed. Road bikes are tons lighter and let you get into a more aerodynamic position as compared to the mountain bike..that is built to drive on a mountain and is about as aerodynamic as a sailboat.
My first race went so well that I am really nervous to do it again. That seems silly, but it is one of those things where if I never did it again I would only have a good experience. I have never been good at dealing with the unknown outcome. Maybe I will do even better...hmmm.
I get nervous. I was nervous before the damn suitcase race in 7th grade at Play Day. I was nervous before 7th grade basketball camp. Seriously it is just stupid, but I can't stop it from happening.
I am a dork. I am nervous about a race I do for fun that has no bearing on my actual exsistence and does not have any sort of impact on the rest of my life...with the exception of maybe making me fitter and having a reason to wear spandex in public. Like I needed a reason.
My first race went so well that I am really nervous to do it again. That seems silly, but it is one of those things where if I never did it again I would only have a good experience. I have never been good at dealing with the unknown outcome. Maybe I will do even better...hmmm.
I get nervous. I was nervous before the damn suitcase race in 7th grade at Play Day. I was nervous before 7th grade basketball camp. Seriously it is just stupid, but I can't stop it from happening.
I am a dork. I am nervous about a race I do for fun that has no bearing on my actual exsistence and does not have any sort of impact on the rest of my life...with the exception of maybe making me fitter and having a reason to wear spandex in public. Like I needed a reason.
Fear the Viking Tour
Jake and I got to spend the weekend with my folks and some of their friends (Viking Tour Group to be exact) in Williamsburg, Virginia. We drove the 7 hour trip on Saturday, stopping only in Durham to get a look at Duke. It is a beautiful campus, but much smaller than you would think it is. All of the campus buildings (student loan, different specific studies) are just old houses they have converted and slapped up a sign. They are nice houses, but still not what I expected.
Williamsburg was tons of fun. It was great to see my folks, but 36 hours is just not quite long enough! The weather could not have been better and the company wasn’t bad either. The first night we ate at the Fat Canary and had fantastic food and great wine. I had sturgeon on truffle mashed potatoes with a topping of scallops and lobster…Yeah, it was just as good as it sounds. PS: The wine’s name was Bleasdale mom. We got to sit outside and enjoy the stars and then we went to the witch trial. Yep, I said witch trial. We were late to it (shocker) and I didn’t realize just how serious it was going to be. They were actually putting some lady on trial. The evidence was overwhelming and I voted to burn her…what? She “floated in an unnatural position” when she was tied up and thrown in the lake.
The second day the lady folk were to shop while the men golfed..But instead we found a great wine and cheese bar around noon and pretty much hung out there for 4 hours. It was fun to catch up while relaxing outside with a procuitto and provolone sandwich while munching in cranberry cheddar cheese…and a bunch of wine. Good stuff. We got cleaned up and went to dinner at the most imposing seafood restaurant I have ever seen. It was a huge buffet with something for everyone and giant masts/booms/etc above the buffets. Crazy.
The guys and some of the ladies played golf on the third day, and the remaining ladies managed to keep out of the wine all day. Everyone should be impressed. I had a wonderful run through the old part of Williamsburg and the College of W&M around 6:45 in the morning. Of course I got really lost and ran for 50 minutes, but it was a really enjoyable 50 minutes! It was a great morning, no traffic, and the scenery was perfection. I can see why you would want to live somewhere with such beauty and historical significance. W&M is a college founded by a President, just miles from the first settlement of the US, and full of Civil War and Revolutionary War history. Yeah, but there are a billion people there. That is enough to turn me off.
We said our sad goodbyes as I looked around at the most exhausted group of 50 year olds I have ever seen. It must be what the kindergarten bus looks like on the way home from a fieldtrip. Jake and I then took off for home….the long way.
Williamsburg was tons of fun. It was great to see my folks, but 36 hours is just not quite long enough! The weather could not have been better and the company wasn’t bad either. The first night we ate at the Fat Canary and had fantastic food and great wine. I had sturgeon on truffle mashed potatoes with a topping of scallops and lobster…Yeah, it was just as good as it sounds. PS: The wine’s name was Bleasdale mom. We got to sit outside and enjoy the stars and then we went to the witch trial. Yep, I said witch trial. We were late to it (shocker) and I didn’t realize just how serious it was going to be. They were actually putting some lady on trial. The evidence was overwhelming and I voted to burn her…what? She “floated in an unnatural position” when she was tied up and thrown in the lake.
The second day the lady folk were to shop while the men golfed..But instead we found a great wine and cheese bar around noon and pretty much hung out there for 4 hours. It was fun to catch up while relaxing outside with a procuitto and provolone sandwich while munching in cranberry cheddar cheese…and a bunch of wine. Good stuff. We got cleaned up and went to dinner at the most imposing seafood restaurant I have ever seen. It was a huge buffet with something for everyone and giant masts/booms/etc above the buffets. Crazy.
The guys and some of the ladies played golf on the third day, and the remaining ladies managed to keep out of the wine all day. Everyone should be impressed. I had a wonderful run through the old part of Williamsburg and the College of W&M around 6:45 in the morning. Of course I got really lost and ran for 50 minutes, but it was a really enjoyable 50 minutes! It was a great morning, no traffic, and the scenery was perfection. I can see why you would want to live somewhere with such beauty and historical significance. W&M is a college founded by a President, just miles from the first settlement of the US, and full of Civil War and Revolutionary War history. Yeah, but there are a billion people there. That is enough to turn me off.
We said our sad goodbyes as I looked around at the most exhausted group of 50 year olds I have ever seen. It must be what the kindergarten bus looks like on the way home from a fieldtrip. Jake and I then took off for home….the long way.
"Elbow Room Cried Daniel Boone"
The title is a direct quote all Toll children are aware of. It is what you say when you want people to scoot over. Kind of a precursor to the shove or slug that you know is coming. I have no idea what it really means in it's originial historical text. I digress.
So, the “long way home” involved driving from the ocean to the mountains. We took off across North Carolina and ended up in Boone. It is a neat little town. Boone is allegedly the old stomping grounds of Daniel Boone, and home to Appalachian State University. ASU is of course home of the Mountaineers that knocked off Michigan in the Big House last year, and old stomping grounds of Coach Prince. Hopefully we can channel the ASU spirit we got in this area and give the Wildcats some good juju from SC so they can get it together.
The campus is gorgeous. I expected hillbilly shanties and liquor stills by the creek. Yep, I was wrong. They are building like crazy, all the buildings have the same brick style, and the area is picturesque. We stayed at the campus center that is part hotel on the hilliest campus I have ever seen. I am not lying. We went on a run and I first almost died falling down the hill, and then almost had a heart attack on the way back up. It was ridiculous. They have a campus shuttle to drag folks around so they can get class to class, it is that tough. I would be fit, with a capital F-I-T if I were a Mountaineer. If you aren’t, you are either not going to class or need to lay WAY off the Ding Dongs.
We drove down the Blue Ridge Parkway, which I totally recommend, and went to Grandfather Mountain. We did some hiking to a swinging bridge that I crossed without issue. Impressive as I have paralyzing fears of heights and general mechanical failures of all bridges, planes, cars, guardrails, elevators, and ski lifts. There are all sorts of signs with the jist of “KEEP TRACK OF YOUR DAMN KIDS” and “IF YOU HIKED UP HERE, THERE IS NO RIDE TO THE BOTTOM FATTY”.
We were sure tired when we got home. It was a ton of fun though. We are pretty good at being really great sight-seers that don’t take good pictures. Hope I use my words well.
So, the “long way home” involved driving from the ocean to the mountains. We took off across North Carolina and ended up in Boone. It is a neat little town. Boone is allegedly the old stomping grounds of Daniel Boone, and home to Appalachian State University. ASU is of course home of the Mountaineers that knocked off Michigan in the Big House last year, and old stomping grounds of Coach Prince. Hopefully we can channel the ASU spirit we got in this area and give the Wildcats some good juju from SC so they can get it together.
The campus is gorgeous. I expected hillbilly shanties and liquor stills by the creek. Yep, I was wrong. They are building like crazy, all the buildings have the same brick style, and the area is picturesque. We stayed at the campus center that is part hotel on the hilliest campus I have ever seen. I am not lying. We went on a run and I first almost died falling down the hill, and then almost had a heart attack on the way back up. It was ridiculous. They have a campus shuttle to drag folks around so they can get class to class, it is that tough. I would be fit, with a capital F-I-T if I were a Mountaineer. If you aren’t, you are either not going to class or need to lay WAY off the Ding Dongs.
We drove down the Blue Ridge Parkway, which I totally recommend, and went to Grandfather Mountain. We did some hiking to a swinging bridge that I crossed without issue. Impressive as I have paralyzing fears of heights and general mechanical failures of all bridges, planes, cars, guardrails, elevators, and ski lifts. There are all sorts of signs with the jist of “KEEP TRACK OF YOUR DAMN KIDS” and “IF YOU HIKED UP HERE, THERE IS NO RIDE TO THE BOTTOM FATTY”.
We were sure tired when we got home. It was a ton of fun though. We are pretty good at being really great sight-seers that don’t take good pictures. Hope I use my words well.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Thong at the Gym? Really?
I spent a terrifying 45 minutes at the gym earlier this week watching a lady's rear end try to eat her pants.
It almost got it done. She was on the StairMaster and every step she took was one step closer to the WORLD BIGGEST WEDGIE....I have given my share of wedgies to my siblings and was pretty mean about it, but I never would have intentionally pulled any one's underpants up their keester that far for fear of mortally wounding them or causing them to never be able to sit again without a blow up doughnut. But it didn't phase this lady. She was getting it done on the StairMaster while I squirmed on the exercise bike trying to stop the northbound progression of her underpants with my mind. It was a train wreck, I couldn't look away. I finally had to cut my workout short and switch to a different machine before I lost it and jumped on her to picked it out myself in order to save her life.
Ike the Flake
I love my dog. Everyone knows that. He’s my workout partner, my protector when Jake is out of town, and my best furry friend. He is also the really big flake.
Today we were running in a really nice subdivision that has a large lake in the middle. South Carolina has been in a severe drought over the past two years so the lake is not so much a pristine, crystal blue oasis as a stinky, murky mud pit. But, it was really warm out and the dog was panting and slowing down so I thought I would let him jump into the lake for a quick dip. He was thrilled with the idea and proceeded to do the regular Ike in the water routine that involves lots of acting like he has never seen water before and he is totally out of his gourd excited about the experience. All’s well until he shoves in face under water to rub it on the dirt and comes up with a six inch tall mud pie on his snout. He is totally in shock and not happy. He jumps out of the water and runs over to me and looks at me like “aren’t you going to do something about this” and just stands there. It has to look ridiculous. Some stupid lady in workout clothes when it is too hot to work out standing next to some dog with a mud pie on his head. I know I am an exaggerator, but I am not kidding when I say it was a six inch tall pile of mud on his snout. Sticky, stinky, bottom of the lake mud. I coax him back into the lake and try to get him to put his nose underwater to clean it off, but that is not going to happen in Ike’s world. He knows the last time he put his face underwater it was not fun so there is no way he is doing it again….he is also not going to let me do it. He is all about cause and effect and has a better memory than me. We put him in the bathtub ONE TIME in Manhattan and he still will not get within 5 feet of a bathtub, not even a bathtub full of steak. So he is standing in the water just out of my reach and whining, while I am trying to toss water on him as he is trying to dodge the water…and looking at me like I am trying to abuse him. That is the look I get all the time from that dog. I was giving him a bath in the car wash area (people who wash their cars there have to love me doing that) of the apt complex afterwards and you would have thought I was trying to put acid on him. Flaky, ridiculousness.
You know they say dogs are a reflection of their owners….poop.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Atheltic.
Okay, here is the disclaimer. This is going to be a very long post about the triathlon we did over the weekend. It is going to be full of monotonous detail, little chunks of entertainment, and a lot of thoughts. If you are not up for that type of commitment, you’d better go read People magazine because this will be both boring and without any celebrity cameos.
The adventure started on Saturday when we headed to Asheville to get checked into the hotel, “pick up our packet” and “go to the pre-race meeting”. I seriously knew what none of these things meant with the exception of the hotel part. Actually, I am incorrect, the excitement started Friday night when my husband decided to shave his body to get “ready for the race”. Yes, I had a sober adult discussion with him about how to go about shaving his legs..with a razor. He also shaved his chest, back and legs. Somehow in his mind his arms didn’t warrant shaving. I didn’t get it, but I didn’t argue. 8 months ago the man didn’t exercise, suddenly he is shaving his body hair in the name of fitness he is so serious about it. I feel like my life is weird sometimes. I digress.
“Picking up your packet” means going to the race site where you show your ID, get a packet full of stuff with lots of instructions and get your t-shirt (the important part for me, I would eat poo if there was a t-shirt involved) and get a look at what you are getting yourself into. You are given 3 sets of numbers: one goes on your bike where it will rub your leg and get in the way of your water bottle, another goes on the front of your bike helmet so you can look like an even bigger goof than if you are just wearing spandex, and the last one goes on your shirt or race belt while you run so there is something for you to swear at and try to fix while you are running to serve as a distraction.
“Going to the race meeting” means standing around a bunch of uptight, Type A personalities (most of which hadn’t done a triathlon before) while they tried to scream questions at some poor guy who was balancing on a fence so he could yell loud enough for us to hear him.
“Why couldn’t you hear him” you may ask? Well, it just so happened that every African-American person in Asheville had come to the park for the “Real Families Picnic” (I don’t really understand what that means and am confused) and there was a sound system and everyone was free stylin’ with the mic yo. I’m not kidding. Nothing like trying to figure out how not to get disqualified from the swim while some guy and some buddies are layin’ down a beat by gettin’ jiggy wit it and “keepin’ it real for da hoz” (direct quote).
Among the things I have learned here, I have been informed by several African-American people at work that they do indeed tan and do not like to be called African-American. I have also been informed that they do not swim. Seriously…not at all with the swimming. They actually said on the nightly news here lately that black people are 3X more likely to drown than their counterparts. No clue as to why.
There was a lot of irony involved as all of the really fit white folks in technical t-shirts and sensible sandals were very confused by what was happening up the hill with the rapping and da beatz, and occasionally someone dressed in a gold shiny Celtics jersey or short shorts holding a plate of barbecue would accidentally walk through our area and try to get out of it as quickly as possible for fear of being captured and made engage in our exercise lunacy.
It was just really bizarre.
Oh and there was an ice cream truck that kept dragging by the meeting with the mind-bending music thinking one of the really fit people was going to come to their senses that they wanted a bomb pop in the middle of the meeting?
So then we went to eat Mexican food….I know, it was all we could find at the time. Then went to the motel and set out labeling everything and getting our things together for the next morning. On top of the Lycra, we also needed shoes, socks, hat, number belt, bike helmet, bike gloves, stuff to eat/drink, swim cap and goggles. For those that know me from my childhood, you will know that I usually packed all of those things in my school bag to take with me in case something came up during the day. I will get into where you actually put all of this stuff later. We went to sleep with the alarm set the next day for 5 a.m.
It is really dark at 5 a.m. Seriously. It was also pretty chilly in the mountains (around 60) so we had on a couple layers over our race clothes. We ate something, loaded up the car and headed over to get set up.
There were all kinds of folks at this thing. This was a first timer “friendly” race as well as a favorite for really good racers, so it was a crazy mix of folks who had no clue what they were doing and people that knew exactly what they were doing and were intimidating (see man riding bike with child on his bike while not wearing shoes). We put six bikes on a rack at our assigned spots and went to set up our “transition areas”. In a triathlon you swim, then run out and change into bike gear, then come back and change into running gear all at a little towel area you claim for yourself by your bike. You set everything out in a orderly fashion so you can screw it up as little as possible as you are kinda deranged between events trying to hurry to the next one (a lady rode the whole bike race with her gloves on upside down because she was hurrying). Kinda like the suitcase race at field day in 3rd grade with serious adults…If you were a bystander at this thing and stopped to watch, it would be hysterical.
So, you get your junk organized and then go over to “body marking” where people write your race number on you with giant markers. They do it on both shoulders, both thighs, and then write your race category on your calf. They really like to keep track of you as you could potentially fall over in the ditch at any point along the 12 mile bike course or 3 mile run course and they would have no idea the last place you were otherwise. My number was 241 and my calf got a great big “N” for novice..which is code for “if I am looking lost or in distress please help me because I am completely clueless as to what is happening”. After all that you stand around waiting for the deal to start.
SWIM:
I was the 241st person into the pool (there were 300) and we took off swimming. This was the part that was the scariest to me. I had only been swimming in a 17 meter pool and was now swimming in a 50 meter pool for 8 lengths. I figured I would go too fast, then have to stop and get passed by everyone. My main goal became just not to drink any of the pool water as I was certain it was full of pee. Don’t ask why I thought that.
It actually went very well for me. I passed a bunch of people, went at a good pace, and didn’t stop once. Wait, I did have to stop when all the sudden there was a big backup as a lady was BACKSTROKING with a whip kick and taking people out all over the place. She was like Jackie Chan of the triathlon, accidentally beating the crap out of everyone. It was even worse because she was with the “novice” division so none of us had any clue as to what to do about it. I just gave up and kinda timed it so I jumped over her leg somehow and kept going.
I was really happy with how smooth I was going as I neared the end. Then I “chicked” a guy. It is by far the most fun athletic thing I have ever done. “Chicking” someone in triathlon means that a girl passes a guy…I have no idea what they call the reverse…could rhyme with “chick” but imply male and I won’t write it in my blog for fear of my mother. Anyway, the guy started 10 seconds ahead of me, but I caught him by the end even though he was not going to let me. He was right on my tail as I hauled myself out of the water onto the land and staggered towards the timing mat (records time) barely beating him. Ten minutes was my time. Awesome. Exactly what I thought I could do if everything went perfectly. And I chicked a dude. I would have broken my leg before I let him get in front of me once we were out of the water.
TRANSITION 1:
So I make it to my little place and put myself together for my bike ride. Socks are hard to put on wet feet and the bike seat is slippery when your pants are wet. All obvious to the brain, but much scarier in real life.
BIKE:
Jake and I drove the course the night before and knew it was going to be brutal. I am not even exaggerating brutal. Although I had pointed out to him several weeks earlier that doing our first triathlon in the MOUNTAINS may not be bright…I need to be more insistent.
So I started up the bike course. I am in pretty good shape on the bike (see prior blog about Jake’s patent pending training methods) but I had no idea how bad of shape everyone else would be in. I can’t even explain how hard it was but there were people walking their bikes up the hills in bike shoes (not easy) and barfing on the side of the road…and they weren’t first timers either.
I managed to ride the whole thing without stopping on my trusty mountain bike (may have had an advantage for once) and passed 20 people or so, only getting passed by 2. There were volunteers and police at all of the intersections to make sure I didn’t end up a grease spot on the road and I yelled “thanks” to all of them and asked a few if they wanted to trade me places…they declined. I think it was all the barfing around me that was scaring them away.
When I pedaled to the finish I was super proud of myself since I had finished in under 45 minutes (better than my goal), but knew that I had pushed too hard on the bike and the run was going to be nasty as my legs were REALLY TIRED.
TRANSITION 2:
So Jake put some super cool shoelaces in my shoes but I didn’t pay enough attention to figure out how to work them….note to self….problem. You have heard the expression “a monkey doing a math problem”…get me a banana because I was confused. My number belt also proved pretty confusing as it migrated up/down, in circles as I never did use it correctly.
RUN:
I did manage to get going and my goal was to run as much as I could without stopping. I knew that walking if I needed to was good so I could keep going but that if I started walking I would not want to run anymore. It was kind of a lonely 3 miles. I chatted sporadically with people that I passed or that passed me or that were running the other way but I had no one to hang out with. I managed the whole thing without walking once. That was way more than I thought I would be able to do. I even passed some folks..Look out, I am speedy!
I saw Jake on the running course twice. Once on my way in with my bike, and once on my way out to the turn around as he was headed back in. He started the swim 10 spots ahead of me and I knew he would be faster than me in all of the aspects of the race, but knew I was going at a great pace when he was still running when I came in off of the bike. It was very funny to kiss him goodbye at the beginning, but really fun to see him towards the end. I think we may have been the only couple racing the race at the same time.
I was worried I would not do as well without him (we run together) as I am a weenie and depend on him for random things that I don’t like to figure out for myself (and lack patience for), like telling me what bike gear to be in and putting fun laces in my shoes. Strangely enough, he has the same shirt on and build as several other guys so I was thoroughly over friendly to several people from a distance only to realize it was not Jake as they got closer…that is awkward…no where really to run off to or anything to do except for avoid eye contact and be very busy with your watch.
Anyway, you can hear the crowd at the end from about a mile out, so that really pushed me through to the finish. Jake was standing at the turn into the last half mile and that was fun…he took some really unflattering pictures of my terrible running form and “ORCA” shirt…Good god.
It was fantastic to come across the finish line and hear the PA guy butcher my name “War-chest-ter” and I was shocked when I hit my watch and it said 34 minutes for the run with an overall time of 1 hour and 32 minutes. That was great. My over-achiever goal was going to be 1:30, and when I saw the bike course I thought I would be 8-10 minutes slower. I was so excited.
After that was over I got myself back together and we waited for some ladies we met on Jake’s bike rack that were fun. They were from Clemson and new to the triathlon stuff too. We had chatted before the race, in the swim line, then intermittently as we passed each other during the race. It was fun to have people to cheer you on and to cheer on for sure. We chatted afterwards and they are thinking about doing a triathlon here around Greenwood in October and we may go see them at the Clemson race next year.
So in the end Jake came in 2nd place with 13 novice males, and I was 6th out of 21 novice females. We both were awesome on the swim and bike (Jake had the best swim and bike legs in his group, and I was 3rd on the bike and around 10th on the swim though my split didn’t register for some reason) and terrible at the run (Jake was 11th and I was 12th in our respective groups). I am really not overly concerned as the bike course was super mean and I am just proud to have finished it without walking my bike, much less having enough “go” left to run the whole 3.1 miles without stopping. On June 7th I ran my first 5K and on July 20th I ran a 5K after swimming 400 meters and riding my bike 12 miles. Not bad improvement really. Jake has of course broken down the whole thing in his head to all the ways we can improve, but for right now I am pretty happy to be dragging my very sore self around the house as a “triathlete” this morning.
The adventure started on Saturday when we headed to Asheville to get checked into the hotel, “pick up our packet” and “go to the pre-race meeting”. I seriously knew what none of these things meant with the exception of the hotel part. Actually, I am incorrect, the excitement started Friday night when my husband decided to shave his body to get “ready for the race”. Yes, I had a sober adult discussion with him about how to go about shaving his legs..with a razor. He also shaved his chest, back and legs. Somehow in his mind his arms didn’t warrant shaving. I didn’t get it, but I didn’t argue. 8 months ago the man didn’t exercise, suddenly he is shaving his body hair in the name of fitness he is so serious about it. I feel like my life is weird sometimes. I digress.
“Picking up your packet” means going to the race site where you show your ID, get a packet full of stuff with lots of instructions and get your t-shirt (the important part for me, I would eat poo if there was a t-shirt involved) and get a look at what you are getting yourself into. You are given 3 sets of numbers: one goes on your bike where it will rub your leg and get in the way of your water bottle, another goes on the front of your bike helmet so you can look like an even bigger goof than if you are just wearing spandex, and the last one goes on your shirt or race belt while you run so there is something for you to swear at and try to fix while you are running to serve as a distraction.
“Going to the race meeting” means standing around a bunch of uptight, Type A personalities (most of which hadn’t done a triathlon before) while they tried to scream questions at some poor guy who was balancing on a fence so he could yell loud enough for us to hear him.
“Why couldn’t you hear him” you may ask? Well, it just so happened that every African-American person in Asheville had come to the park for the “Real Families Picnic” (I don’t really understand what that means and am confused) and there was a sound system and everyone was free stylin’ with the mic yo. I’m not kidding. Nothing like trying to figure out how not to get disqualified from the swim while some guy and some buddies are layin’ down a beat by gettin’ jiggy wit it and “keepin’ it real for da hoz” (direct quote).
Among the things I have learned here, I have been informed by several African-American people at work that they do indeed tan and do not like to be called African-American. I have also been informed that they do not swim. Seriously…not at all with the swimming. They actually said on the nightly news here lately that black people are 3X more likely to drown than their counterparts. No clue as to why.
There was a lot of irony involved as all of the really fit white folks in technical t-shirts and sensible sandals were very confused by what was happening up the hill with the rapping and da beatz, and occasionally someone dressed in a gold shiny Celtics jersey or short shorts holding a plate of barbecue would accidentally walk through our area and try to get out of it as quickly as possible for fear of being captured and made engage in our exercise lunacy.
It was just really bizarre.
Oh and there was an ice cream truck that kept dragging by the meeting with the mind-bending music thinking one of the really fit people was going to come to their senses that they wanted a bomb pop in the middle of the meeting?
So then we went to eat Mexican food….I know, it was all we could find at the time. Then went to the motel and set out labeling everything and getting our things together for the next morning. On top of the Lycra, we also needed shoes, socks, hat, number belt, bike helmet, bike gloves, stuff to eat/drink, swim cap and goggles. For those that know me from my childhood, you will know that I usually packed all of those things in my school bag to take with me in case something came up during the day. I will get into where you actually put all of this stuff later. We went to sleep with the alarm set the next day for 5 a.m.
It is really dark at 5 a.m. Seriously. It was also pretty chilly in the mountains (around 60) so we had on a couple layers over our race clothes. We ate something, loaded up the car and headed over to get set up.
There were all kinds of folks at this thing. This was a first timer “friendly” race as well as a favorite for really good racers, so it was a crazy mix of folks who had no clue what they were doing and people that knew exactly what they were doing and were intimidating (see man riding bike with child on his bike while not wearing shoes). We put six bikes on a rack at our assigned spots and went to set up our “transition areas”. In a triathlon you swim, then run out and change into bike gear, then come back and change into running gear all at a little towel area you claim for yourself by your bike. You set everything out in a orderly fashion so you can screw it up as little as possible as you are kinda deranged between events trying to hurry to the next one (a lady rode the whole bike race with her gloves on upside down because she was hurrying). Kinda like the suitcase race at field day in 3rd grade with serious adults…If you were a bystander at this thing and stopped to watch, it would be hysterical.
So, you get your junk organized and then go over to “body marking” where people write your race number on you with giant markers. They do it on both shoulders, both thighs, and then write your race category on your calf. They really like to keep track of you as you could potentially fall over in the ditch at any point along the 12 mile bike course or 3 mile run course and they would have no idea the last place you were otherwise. My number was 241 and my calf got a great big “N” for novice..which is code for “if I am looking lost or in distress please help me because I am completely clueless as to what is happening”. After all that you stand around waiting for the deal to start.
SWIM:
I was the 241st person into the pool (there were 300) and we took off swimming. This was the part that was the scariest to me. I had only been swimming in a 17 meter pool and was now swimming in a 50 meter pool for 8 lengths. I figured I would go too fast, then have to stop and get passed by everyone. My main goal became just not to drink any of the pool water as I was certain it was full of pee. Don’t ask why I thought that.
It actually went very well for me. I passed a bunch of people, went at a good pace, and didn’t stop once. Wait, I did have to stop when all the sudden there was a big backup as a lady was BACKSTROKING with a whip kick and taking people out all over the place. She was like Jackie Chan of the triathlon, accidentally beating the crap out of everyone. It was even worse because she was with the “novice” division so none of us had any clue as to what to do about it. I just gave up and kinda timed it so I jumped over her leg somehow and kept going.
I was really happy with how smooth I was going as I neared the end. Then I “chicked” a guy. It is by far the most fun athletic thing I have ever done. “Chicking” someone in triathlon means that a girl passes a guy…I have no idea what they call the reverse…could rhyme with “chick” but imply male and I won’t write it in my blog for fear of my mother. Anyway, the guy started 10 seconds ahead of me, but I caught him by the end even though he was not going to let me. He was right on my tail as I hauled myself out of the water onto the land and staggered towards the timing mat (records time) barely beating him. Ten minutes was my time. Awesome. Exactly what I thought I could do if everything went perfectly. And I chicked a dude. I would have broken my leg before I let him get in front of me once we were out of the water.
TRANSITION 1:
So I make it to my little place and put myself together for my bike ride. Socks are hard to put on wet feet and the bike seat is slippery when your pants are wet. All obvious to the brain, but much scarier in real life.
BIKE:
Jake and I drove the course the night before and knew it was going to be brutal. I am not even exaggerating brutal. Although I had pointed out to him several weeks earlier that doing our first triathlon in the MOUNTAINS may not be bright…I need to be more insistent.
So I started up the bike course. I am in pretty good shape on the bike (see prior blog about Jake’s patent pending training methods) but I had no idea how bad of shape everyone else would be in. I can’t even explain how hard it was but there were people walking their bikes up the hills in bike shoes (not easy) and barfing on the side of the road…and they weren’t first timers either.
I managed to ride the whole thing without stopping on my trusty mountain bike (may have had an advantage for once) and passed 20 people or so, only getting passed by 2. There were volunteers and police at all of the intersections to make sure I didn’t end up a grease spot on the road and I yelled “thanks” to all of them and asked a few if they wanted to trade me places…they declined. I think it was all the barfing around me that was scaring them away.
When I pedaled to the finish I was super proud of myself since I had finished in under 45 minutes (better than my goal), but knew that I had pushed too hard on the bike and the run was going to be nasty as my legs were REALLY TIRED.
TRANSITION 2:
So Jake put some super cool shoelaces in my shoes but I didn’t pay enough attention to figure out how to work them….note to self….problem. You have heard the expression “a monkey doing a math problem”…get me a banana because I was confused. My number belt also proved pretty confusing as it migrated up/down, in circles as I never did use it correctly.
RUN:
I did manage to get going and my goal was to run as much as I could without stopping. I knew that walking if I needed to was good so I could keep going but that if I started walking I would not want to run anymore. It was kind of a lonely 3 miles. I chatted sporadically with people that I passed or that passed me or that were running the other way but I had no one to hang out with. I managed the whole thing without walking once. That was way more than I thought I would be able to do. I even passed some folks..Look out, I am speedy!
I saw Jake on the running course twice. Once on my way in with my bike, and once on my way out to the turn around as he was headed back in. He started the swim 10 spots ahead of me and I knew he would be faster than me in all of the aspects of the race, but knew I was going at a great pace when he was still running when I came in off of the bike. It was very funny to kiss him goodbye at the beginning, but really fun to see him towards the end. I think we may have been the only couple racing the race at the same time.
I was worried I would not do as well without him (we run together) as I am a weenie and depend on him for random things that I don’t like to figure out for myself (and lack patience for), like telling me what bike gear to be in and putting fun laces in my shoes. Strangely enough, he has the same shirt on and build as several other guys so I was thoroughly over friendly to several people from a distance only to realize it was not Jake as they got closer…that is awkward…no where really to run off to or anything to do except for avoid eye contact and be very busy with your watch.
Anyway, you can hear the crowd at the end from about a mile out, so that really pushed me through to the finish. Jake was standing at the turn into the last half mile and that was fun…he took some really unflattering pictures of my terrible running form and “ORCA” shirt…Good god.
It was fantastic to come across the finish line and hear the PA guy butcher my name “War-chest-ter” and I was shocked when I hit my watch and it said 34 minutes for the run with an overall time of 1 hour and 32 minutes. That was great. My over-achiever goal was going to be 1:30, and when I saw the bike course I thought I would be 8-10 minutes slower. I was so excited.
After that was over I got myself back together and we waited for some ladies we met on Jake’s bike rack that were fun. They were from Clemson and new to the triathlon stuff too. We had chatted before the race, in the swim line, then intermittently as we passed each other during the race. It was fun to have people to cheer you on and to cheer on for sure. We chatted afterwards and they are thinking about doing a triathlon here around Greenwood in October and we may go see them at the Clemson race next year.
So in the end Jake came in 2nd place with 13 novice males, and I was 6th out of 21 novice females. We both were awesome on the swim and bike (Jake had the best swim and bike legs in his group, and I was 3rd on the bike and around 10th on the swim though my split didn’t register for some reason) and terrible at the run (Jake was 11th and I was 12th in our respective groups). I am really not overly concerned as the bike course was super mean and I am just proud to have finished it without walking my bike, much less having enough “go” left to run the whole 3.1 miles without stopping. On June 7th I ran my first 5K and on July 20th I ran a 5K after swimming 400 meters and riding my bike 12 miles. Not bad improvement really. Jake has of course broken down the whole thing in his head to all the ways we can improve, but for right now I am pretty happy to be dragging my very sore self around the house as a “triathlete” this morning.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Shag The Movie
For those of you that had a different upbringing from me, were never in my sorority, or did not spend extensive amounts of time with me, this title may be strange. For those of you on the other side, you will know that this movie is a very important part of Americana and one of my favorites. This movie is a funny, coming of age sort of thing set in South Carolina and centered around the regional dance of SC, THE SHAG. There is of course a shag contest and some turmoil, but generally a lovely absence of conflict...which is why I love it so much.
"THE SHAG": This is a dance set to "Beach Music"- which has not been fully explained to me what makes "Beach Music", and is prevalent along the beaches of SC and they are very proud of it. No one here can understand how I could live somewhere that I hadn't already learned all the steps. Then I start talking about the movie and they look at me like I am asking them about life on Mars. I don't think there is one Kansan that has not see the "Wizard of OZ", but I have yet to found a South Carolinian who has seen this movie. Mind you, everyone thinks the movie about Dorothy was shot IN Kansas, and that the tornadoes and flying monkeys are real. The Shag movie is not only about their state, but shot in their state, about their own state's dance. Seriously? We would be showing that thing every two weeks in the schools as part of the curriculum.
The best part is that Greenwood has a large number of British folks that silently giggle when everyone here starts talking about "Shagging" with such bizarre gusto....I giggle with them too.
"THE SHAG": This is a dance set to "Beach Music"- which has not been fully explained to me what makes "Beach Music", and is prevalent along the beaches of SC and they are very proud of it. No one here can understand how I could live somewhere that I hadn't already learned all the steps. Then I start talking about the movie and they look at me like I am asking them about life on Mars. I don't think there is one Kansan that has not see the "Wizard of OZ", but I have yet to found a South Carolinian who has seen this movie. Mind you, everyone thinks the movie about Dorothy was shot IN Kansas, and that the tornadoes and flying monkeys are real. The Shag movie is not only about their state, but shot in their state, about their own state's dance. Seriously? We would be showing that thing every two weeks in the schools as part of the curriculum.
The best part is that Greenwood has a large number of British folks that silently giggle when everyone here starts talking about "Shagging" with such bizarre gusto....I giggle with them too.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Bad News Bears
I went to a training program for the past two days in Charleston to learn about how to be a better manager. Everyone at work was very excited for me to go... Anyway, I learned some good things but had an interesting group. You really don't know what you are walking into at the deal on the first day so I was open. Not nearly open enough. We were seriously like the movie Bad News Bears. There were 5 out of 12 with college educations, 2 did not speak English, and 4 were angry they had to be there. Fascinating. One of the non-English speakers didn't show on the second day and his other barely English speaking friend told us that he got too freaked out that he didn't understand A WORD the first day and decided to skip the second day. Not sure what he was expecting.. The guy running the show had to want to beat his head against the wall. The comments were amazingly weird and the group work was carried by specific people which was weirdly uncomfortable. The facilitator was silly enough to give homework which half the group just flat refused to do. Luckily all those fools were all there for manager training and are now responsible for shaping America's work force. Holy Mooley.
We went out to eat in Charleston on a mini appetizer/Happy Hour crawl. It was great. We started at a fun restaurant and then got a suggestion for the next place...we did that 3 times. We had some GREAT wine and fun appetizers and capped it off with a ridiculous dessert that involved a waffle bowl made of pralines and filled with an ice cream sundae. Fantastic.
I am headed to Augusta to do some recruitment tomorrow which should be interesting and hopefully fruitful...or just not a tremendous waste of time.
We went out to eat in Charleston on a mini appetizer/Happy Hour crawl. It was great. We started at a fun restaurant and then got a suggestion for the next place...we did that 3 times. We had some GREAT wine and fun appetizers and capped it off with a ridiculous dessert that involved a waffle bowl made of pralines and filled with an ice cream sundae. Fantastic.
I am headed to Augusta to do some recruitment tomorrow which should be interesting and hopefully fruitful...or just not a tremendous waste of time.
Naked in the Ditch.
So, here are the get ups that Jake and I are wearing in the race. Yes, seriously. Jake wanted to make sure his outfit got in the blog too (mine is the pink one) and I told him that this was MY blog and that since he has never posted (except when I have accidentally posted under his name) I didn't think he should get to be in the blog, but then I thought everyone should giggle that he is dressing in the same insanity.
The picture is a little blurry, but the front of the pink jersey says "ORCA" which is a very famous triathlon company...unfortunately it is also the name of a whale. Didn't think about it at the time I bought it. I guess I am just glad it doesn't say "Shamuu" or "Free Willie" or "Fatty". I will tell you that if I get into any sort of an accident and am lying in the ditch, I am stripping completely naked of this crazy business just to stop anyone else from having to see me in it. I may be missing a foot, they I will not be lying there in bike shorts and a shirt that says "ORCA"... FACT.
Brilliance or Insanity?
My husband is either the most brilliant triathlon coach of all times or a complete sadist. His brand of "hardship" training (which is absolutely an accident) will hopefully pay off in this triathlon thing being easier than I am thinking it will be. We keep doing stuff that is really retarded and then later he says things like "wow, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be", or " it was probably too hot to ride that far", or my favorite "I probably shouldn't have told you to try and run a mile after an hour long bike ride at 93 degrees". If I thought it was intentional, I would have killed him by now.
Everyone knows that he is not an early riser which is not necessarily a problem unless you are riding a bicycle greater than 15 HILLY miles at 10 in the morning after several beers the night before when it was at least 20 degrees cooler 3 hours before. Not to mention that he has a fancy bike that makes him leave me even further in the dust. That is when your charming wife turns into a swear machine. Oh, and then there was the time we got lost and rode for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Nothing really seems that bad after that. I think that maybe that's the idea. Complete brilliant insanity. Two days and counting to see if it all pays off.... GO TEAM WOO!
Everyone knows that he is not an early riser which is not necessarily a problem unless you are riding a bicycle greater than 15 HILLY miles at 10 in the morning after several beers the night before when it was at least 20 degrees cooler 3 hours before. Not to mention that he has a fancy bike that makes him leave me even further in the dust. That is when your charming wife turns into a swear machine. Oh, and then there was the time we got lost and rode for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Nothing really seems that bad after that. I think that maybe that's the idea. Complete brilliant insanity. Two days and counting to see if it all pays off.... GO TEAM WOO!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Tennis Frustration
I am watching my 5th hour of tennis. It is terrible and great at the same time. They are the two top men's players hashing it out in a nail biter, but I really want to change it to the Law and Order marathon as it is shooting my nerves. Then I decide that I have so many other things I was going to do with my day, but I can't walk away from it. I have to watch as it is a really great match for the ages, but at the same time I am bored out of my mind. There have been two rain delays which I made great use of my time by playing Dr. Mario or Wii tennis instead of being productive as I wanted to be able to flip back and forth to avoid missing a point. I am pretty certain that the folks below us are thrilled that we have an interactive game console that requires physical participation and includes such quiet games as: boxing, tennis, bowling and golf. You try to box against someone and be quiet about it...virtually impossible.
I am not sure what I would be doing instead of being a tv blob I guess. It is stormy outside and I am resting after a weekend of retard workout stuff, but I had planned on doing highly thought provoking things like watching a really good Queen Elizabeth movie and finishing this book I have been struggling through. Instead I will sit glued to the boob tube watching tennis, playing Dr. Mario (which is the world's most addictive game...thanks Sue and Dan) playing fake tennis and developing real tennis elbow from the Wii... I suppose this is actually what relaxing feels like..interesting....
I am not sure what I would be doing instead of being a tv blob I guess. It is stormy outside and I am resting after a weekend of retard workout stuff, but I had planned on doing highly thought provoking things like watching a really good Queen Elizabeth movie and finishing this book I have been struggling through. Instead I will sit glued to the boob tube watching tennis, playing Dr. Mario (which is the world's most addictive game...thanks Sue and Dan) playing fake tennis and developing real tennis elbow from the Wii... I suppose this is actually what relaxing feels like..interesting....
4th of July Irony
Jake and I spent the 4th of July with a whole bunch of English people. It was hysterical. I suppose I need to clarify, all the women were American and all the men but Jake were born in England or in colonies of England. They called it "Give Back Day" instead of "4th of July". I don't know what that means, but they all laughed hysterically when one of them came up with it. British humor. They were really good sports about the whole thing. I was initially a little nervous as Jake was significantly out numbered and god knows how much the boy loves America, so I was hoping there wouldn't be any rehash of the Revolutionary War but it all turned out fine. I guess as long as no one has to work everyone considers it a pretty good holiday regardless of which side of the pond you are from! Where might you wonder does Greenwood, SC get a bunch of Brits? Turns out the university here is very good at soccer and they import kids from England to play on their team..which maybe the reason why they are good. Anyway, so we did normal stuff like swam and grilled out, but then the guys played cricket. I laughed a lot trying to watch Jake figure out how to throw a ball without bending his elbow... Then there was a lot of talking about cricket and soccer. Jake and I had no idea what anyone was talking about for 40 solid minutes...there was a lot of smiling and nodding. Definitely a different 4th of July, but still tons of fun!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Athletic?
This is a nod to my prior post of "Outdoorsy" where we were planning something outdoorsy that I didn't know would work or not. Jake was reading the blog the other day (he sometimes reads it when he is wondering what I am writing about him) and informed me that I should not have had a "Birthaversary Volume 1" if I had not intended to write a "Volume 2". So I apologize to all of you holding your breath on the second volume. I used good judgement and left the second part out that involved some ladies fighting on the beach and one yelling at another that her mother was a "fat heifer". Anyway, in the same vein of "Outdoorsy", this one is called "Athletic" as we have now planned something athletic that will either be really great or really terrible...Hence the question mark at the end. If I thought it was a sure thing, it would be titled "Athletic!" instead...definitely more self assured punctuation when you use an exclamation point! All of that really great insight into the nuances of punctuation is all self taught as my 8th and 9th grade teachers were too much fun to actually teach me anything useful in real life, so I made up my own punctuation ideas... The question mark's name is actually "Ross", the exclamation point is kinda a jerk, and the comma lives in the duplex down the block. Again I stray away from the point of the post.
So, we are now officially signed up for the Asheville Sprint Triathlon. Yep, they have our money so now I can't back out. Luckily it is the first annual so hopefully it will not be very big. It is also supposed to be very beginner friendly. I am not sure it could ever be beginner friendly enough for me! "Sprint" just means it is an abbreviated distance as compared to most triathlons, it in no way means how fast you will go...guaranteed my speed cannot be called a "sprint" or even a gallop some days. This means I will have to swim, ride my bike and run all in a row on purpose on July 20th. Sounds like a really dumb idea, but we live in triathlon country so when in Rome. Luckily we chose the Triathlon part to partake in in lieu of some of the other more colorful and less adoptable Southern activities. Thought you would all get a laugh out of it as you try and envision me being athletic, especially any of you that saw any tape of me playing high school basketball or heard the story about me falling over in the ocean this weekend and head butting some lady in the behind 20 yards away before I was able to get myself back under control....
So, we are now officially signed up for the Asheville Sprint Triathlon. Yep, they have our money so now I can't back out. Luckily it is the first annual so hopefully it will not be very big. It is also supposed to be very beginner friendly. I am not sure it could ever be beginner friendly enough for me! "Sprint" just means it is an abbreviated distance as compared to most triathlons, it in no way means how fast you will go...guaranteed my speed cannot be called a "sprint" or even a gallop some days. This means I will have to swim, ride my bike and run all in a row on purpose on July 20th. Sounds like a really dumb idea, but we live in triathlon country so when in Rome. Luckily we chose the Triathlon part to partake in in lieu of some of the other more colorful and less adoptable Southern activities. Thought you would all get a laugh out of it as you try and envision me being athletic, especially any of you that saw any tape of me playing high school basketball or heard the story about me falling over in the ocean this weekend and head butting some lady in the behind 20 yards away before I was able to get myself back under control....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Redneck Riviera
We just got out of the car after camping at the beach this weekend. It was a great time! We were able to camp at the state park that was within walking distance of the beach and wedged right in the middle of all of the high rise hotels. It was surreal to turn around on the beach to look at the camp and see giant buildings rising up just to the side. Camping is a whole bizarre situation there. I didn't realize that camping was a lucrative business but there are several "campgrounds" right on the beach, which is also right on a highway, which is also right by hotel/resorts on the beach. They all had a strange pirate reference in the name, as did every miniature golf course and gentlemen's club.
I didn't know when we chose our destination, but someone told us it is sometimes referred to as the "Redneck Riviera". I do understand it now. It is very "state fair" with a random group of people who are all on vacation, and don't really care about much else. Very different from the other places we have been on the coast. It made for some of the most tremendous people watching.
The campsite was pretty neat. It never fails to surprise me the wide variety of "camping" present at a place. There were folks in giant motor homes that were not roughing it at all, then there were tents with an air conditioner propped up outside, then there were the four of us sweating our rears off in our tents with the rain covers on because it kept pretending it was going to rain. Cooking over a fire is also a rough idea when it is already 90 degrees out with 80% humidity...but I digress. There were also folks that had been there for months and had little mailbox signs with their names and had landscaped little areas with Astroturf and wind chimes. I would be annoyed by all other campers if I were one of the "long term" folks. There were some normal looking campers and then there were some very real rednecks. I mean that as a means of classification, like "hippies", not in any sort of derogatory fashion. There are characteristics that can commonly be attributed to being a redneck (primarily male) and they are as follows: very long hair that is not contained by a ponytail band, large beer belly with very skinny legs or tapeworm thin (either way) with very ill fitting swim shorts that have some sort of beer logo, "Buttweiser" t-shirt at a restaurant (actually picture of ladies rears in thongs reading "BUTTWEISER, KING OF REARS"- at the waffle house this morning), Natural Light beer in any situation, or any sort of running around without a shirt or shoes in public. I think the only classification for women is that if your male counterpart meets any of the prior criteria you yourself are a redneck as well.
We spent all day yesterday at the beach. It was gorgeous but windy. We rented an umbrella and got to nap in the shade after the ocean beat us up until it got so windy that all the umbrellas had to be put away. The greatest thing on the beach was watching a lifeguard who spoke terrible English attempt to communicate with folks who couldn't understand why he was so stupid and didn't speak better English. I do think it should be some sort of a requirement that the people in charge of keeping you safe should be able to effectively communicate in case there is some sort of a problem but none the less it was funny. They closed the beach because of the wind and his job was to get folks out of the water...he was terrible at it. He didn't want to blow his whistle because then he would have to talk to folks, so he just stared at them and followed them up and down the beach trying to use ESP to keep them from getting in. I wanted to grab his whistle, blow it really hard, tell everyone to get out of the water and let that be it...his nervous pacing was ruining my relaxing.
The beach was beautiful but totally weird as there were no restaurants within a 2 mile walking distance except for one crappy one that people only went to because it was the only one. I have no clue where the rest of the crazy fools were eating, but it wasn't on the beach. It was so strange. Miles of giant hotels, crappy motels, and random inns with crazy names, but no food.
There were some unique camping situations that made me laugh. I wore shoes in the shower for the first time since I lived in the dorms and had the thrill of watching several people with RV's emptying the chemical toilets at the front of the park (I feel like you should have to take that with you...) and resisted the desire to yell "Shitters full?" like cousin Eddy on Christmas Vacation. Camping is definitely a lot of work. We went with some fun folks and had a great time. We went to sleep every night really tired for sure. I am looking at a giant pile of nasty, dirty stuff on a sheet in my living room and figure I will go to sleep tired again tonight.
I would consider this experience "camping light", and we will see where the next adventure takes us! For those of you wondering, "camping light" means not having to poop outside. Dodged a bullet this time!
I didn't know when we chose our destination, but someone told us it is sometimes referred to as the "Redneck Riviera". I do understand it now. It is very "state fair" with a random group of people who are all on vacation, and don't really care about much else. Very different from the other places we have been on the coast. It made for some of the most tremendous people watching.
The campsite was pretty neat. It never fails to surprise me the wide variety of "camping" present at a place. There were folks in giant motor homes that were not roughing it at all, then there were tents with an air conditioner propped up outside, then there were the four of us sweating our rears off in our tents with the rain covers on because it kept pretending it was going to rain. Cooking over a fire is also a rough idea when it is already 90 degrees out with 80% humidity...but I digress. There were also folks that had been there for months and had little mailbox signs with their names and had landscaped little areas with Astroturf and wind chimes. I would be annoyed by all other campers if I were one of the "long term" folks. There were some normal looking campers and then there were some very real rednecks. I mean that as a means of classification, like "hippies", not in any sort of derogatory fashion. There are characteristics that can commonly be attributed to being a redneck (primarily male) and they are as follows: very long hair that is not contained by a ponytail band, large beer belly with very skinny legs or tapeworm thin (either way) with very ill fitting swim shorts that have some sort of beer logo, "Buttweiser" t-shirt at a restaurant (actually picture of ladies rears in thongs reading "BUTTWEISER, KING OF REARS"- at the waffle house this morning), Natural Light beer in any situation, or any sort of running around without a shirt or shoes in public. I think the only classification for women is that if your male counterpart meets any of the prior criteria you yourself are a redneck as well.
We spent all day yesterday at the beach. It was gorgeous but windy. We rented an umbrella and got to nap in the shade after the ocean beat us up until it got so windy that all the umbrellas had to be put away. The greatest thing on the beach was watching a lifeguard who spoke terrible English attempt to communicate with folks who couldn't understand why he was so stupid and didn't speak better English. I do think it should be some sort of a requirement that the people in charge of keeping you safe should be able to effectively communicate in case there is some sort of a problem but none the less it was funny. They closed the beach because of the wind and his job was to get folks out of the water...he was terrible at it. He didn't want to blow his whistle because then he would have to talk to folks, so he just stared at them and followed them up and down the beach trying to use ESP to keep them from getting in. I wanted to grab his whistle, blow it really hard, tell everyone to get out of the water and let that be it...his nervous pacing was ruining my relaxing.
The beach was beautiful but totally weird as there were no restaurants within a 2 mile walking distance except for one crappy one that people only went to because it was the only one. I have no clue where the rest of the crazy fools were eating, but it wasn't on the beach. It was so strange. Miles of giant hotels, crappy motels, and random inns with crazy names, but no food.
There were some unique camping situations that made me laugh. I wore shoes in the shower for the first time since I lived in the dorms and had the thrill of watching several people with RV's emptying the chemical toilets at the front of the park (I feel like you should have to take that with you...) and resisted the desire to yell "Shitters full?" like cousin Eddy on Christmas Vacation. Camping is definitely a lot of work. We went with some fun folks and had a great time. We went to sleep every night really tired for sure. I am looking at a giant pile of nasty, dirty stuff on a sheet in my living room and figure I will go to sleep tired again tonight.
I would consider this experience "camping light", and we will see where the next adventure takes us! For those of you wondering, "camping light" means not having to poop outside. Dodged a bullet this time!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Outdoorsy?
Jake and I have been doing tons of interesting things with our time in South Carolina that a lot of people didn't see coming. Actually, I can safely say that NO ONE saw them coming. I didn't even see it coming. Over the past 10 months we have become bike riders, hikers, joggers, triathalons in training, and now we are heading camping. Stop laughing. It would really be the coup de gras of our "outdoorsy-ness" if this became some sort of a habit. It is well known that we are master tailgaters with all of the necessary camping supplies to stay alive for days, but we both lack the desire to be dirty for days in a row and poop outside. Nothing good can come of that. I can't even poop inside if I think there is anyone around within 50 feet. There is also that interesting smell that is around for many, many days afterwards (kinda like The Aggie Lou) that doesn't go away when you wash your hair and clothes. We have been camping before with friends and enjoyed it, but we were never quite this serious. Well, now we are jumping in with both feet. We are driving four hours to go camping with some friends at Myrtle Beach. These are people who spent a month in India living out of a back pack and hiked the Grand Canyon in May. We are going to sleep in a tent and the ocean is about 300 yards away. I would be totally lying to say it is going to be deep woods camping as we are in the middle of the town, there is a shower, and there are not any bears or lions, so we are not exactly roughing it. I think that is a good idea that our first attempt at faraway camping will be suburban/urban. Probably like sleeping in the backyard of your parents when you were a kid... I didn't ever sleep in a tent, but I tried to sleep in a tree once. Luckily my mom is very persuasive and talked me out of it.
I secretly desire to eat a fish I caught myself. Actually not so secret...everyone should know that by now. However that would require a fishing pole, bait, and some other weird things I don't have. I would also have to kill the fish somehow. I really am not sure how that works. But I could sure take it apart...I watch a lot of the food network.
According to some of my patients this is an amazing thing that we stumbled onto a campsite there as it is typically booked all summer long six months in advance...of course we had no clue when we dumb lucked into it. Hopefully we enjoy it! Maybe we will truly become "outdoorsy"..hmmm, don't hold your breath. I don't see myself pooping outside on a regular basis.
I secretly desire to eat a fish I caught myself. Actually not so secret...everyone should know that by now. However that would require a fishing pole, bait, and some other weird things I don't have. I would also have to kill the fish somehow. I really am not sure how that works. But I could sure take it apart...I watch a lot of the food network.
According to some of my patients this is an amazing thing that we stumbled onto a campsite there as it is typically booked all summer long six months in advance...of course we had no clue when we dumb lucked into it. Hopefully we enjoy it! Maybe we will truly become "outdoorsy"..hmmm, don't hold your breath. I don't see myself pooping outside on a regular basis.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Birthiversary Randomness Volume 1
I have the day off this morning and thought I would update the blog. I know, 2x in a month is a lot for me lately. Off topic: Is the show "CHARMED" on ALL DAY. I have been clicking around the awful tv options between 7-10 a.m and CHARMED has been on for 3 straight hours. I didn't even know the show was on for enough years to have 3 hours worth of re-runs. My other options appears to be some sort of Steven Segal movie marathon or 19 different shows about how to exercise to lose weight without exercising. If people would just spend the time and exercise instead of trying to figure out how not to exercise we would be a much thinner bunch of folks in the US. I digress.
Whew! We had quite the weekend of fun. It encompassed the entire gamut of entertainment. We headed to Savannah this weekend for the "BIRTHIVERSARY" celebration of my 30th year and our 5th year of being married. I know it just seems like yesterday, but it has indeed been forever.
The actual reason we picked Savannah is because it also had a 5K this weekend. Yes, Jake and Hilary were going to run 3 miles in a competitive fashion on purpose. Jake had to talk me into it. For anyone who has not seen Jake lately, he is a mere shadow of his former self and suddenly very fit and all about trying out races. For anyone who has not seen me lately, I look basically the same...my hair maybe a little shorter..but I am still very much against competitive physical activities as I suck at them. For anyone that knows me from my younger days I have a rare condition known as "bubble guts" (my mom named it) and feel like puking if any physical activity becomes a competition. I am instantly terrified I will come in last or be left for dead on the side of the road with everyone pointing and laughing as they run by in all their designer gear while I have a coronary or a calf cramp. Fun right? So a 5K on our anniversary should be a good time..
To make a long blog short, we did it. Jake was good about keeping me from freaking out in the herd of runners (all shapes and sizes), none particularly trendily dressed, and some people I was sure I would be able to finish in front of. It was a good situation. Then we get to the end. We had only been passed by one person who we passed back later so I was feeling pretty good despite the fact you could have spooned the air into a glass and drank it. This nice man falls in beside us and hangs out with us from 2.4 miles on, we are chatting it up. His watch is beeping because he is not running fast enough and my watch is beeping because I am running too fast. It was kinda funny. Anyway, he and Jake decide I can definitely catch the girl in front of me before we get across the finish line. She had been walking for a while around the 2.8 mile mark so she was looking tired. I laugh it off, but it keeps coming up and we are gaining on her. Let me establish that I have never, ever, ever run a race. I have never, ever been in "track", cross-country, nor did I really pay attention in PE. I have never, ever dealt with race strategy or any of that stuff. I barely even know anything about running form unless it has to do with pathology that I fix as a PT. So, we turn the corner to run up a hill to the finish line and all the sudden Jake and this guy (I seriously don't know his name) turn toward me and are yelling at me to catch this girl. Seriously like yelling all of this encouraging athletic running stuff like: "stride it out, finish strong, you can do it" and some other stuff that I didn't even understand. My original goal was just to finish in under 30 minutes, but suddenly my goal was to catch this girl and crush her spirit..for absolutely no reason except Jake and some guy were yelling at me to do it and I couldn't tell them no. If it had just been Jake I would have told him to stop smoking crack and there was no way it would happen, but that would have been rude to say to guy-with-no-name. My mother taught me to never be rude. You would have thought it was the damn Olympic time trials or I was running for 1 million dollars because this mildly athletic, newly 30 year old girl started running like she stole something. And I was gaining on the girl in front of me. Then she saw me coming.
I think we maybe had 75 yards let, mostly uphill to the blow-up arch finish line. Anyway, she sees me out of the corner of her eye-apparently I am not sneaky as she was wearing an ipod and still noticed...or maybe it was the two grown men screaming "GET HER" that she noticed. She was not amused by my attempt to catch her (she was wearing some sort of 3 layer short situation but otherwise seemed normal) and had apparently been involved in some sort of prior running program (at least Jr. High) as she seemed to find an additional gear just as I was catching her. She wasn't going to let me beat her...Dangit. So I dug deep inside and tried to find another gear but it turns out I was already in my additional gear and the only other gear option was reverse. Oh my god it was a duel to the finish. I would have shoved her over if I thought I could have gotten away (again, I am not aware of the "rules" of running) with it but suddenly everyone around the finish was watching us and cheering. It was one of the most bizarre things I have done in my adulthood and certainly the craziest in my recent foray into the 30's (it had only been 24 hours) battling the girl to the finish of a charity 5K. Anyway, she beat me by a couple yards. I did come in under 30 minutes which was really cool.
I really enjoyed the race experience and didn't throw up, cramp up, or come in last. Then Jake told me that people don't really race to the finish line at the end....Wow, so this girl and I had an impromptu foot race in front of 100 people. Wow again. I wonder if they will ever invite me back again. I like to bring new experiences to the people!
Whew! We had quite the weekend of fun. It encompassed the entire gamut of entertainment. We headed to Savannah this weekend for the "BIRTHIVERSARY" celebration of my 30th year and our 5th year of being married. I know it just seems like yesterday, but it has indeed been forever.
The actual reason we picked Savannah is because it also had a 5K this weekend. Yes, Jake and Hilary were going to run 3 miles in a competitive fashion on purpose. Jake had to talk me into it. For anyone who has not seen Jake lately, he is a mere shadow of his former self and suddenly very fit and all about trying out races. For anyone who has not seen me lately, I look basically the same...my hair maybe a little shorter..but I am still very much against competitive physical activities as I suck at them. For anyone that knows me from my younger days I have a rare condition known as "bubble guts" (my mom named it) and feel like puking if any physical activity becomes a competition. I am instantly terrified I will come in last or be left for dead on the side of the road with everyone pointing and laughing as they run by in all their designer gear while I have a coronary or a calf cramp. Fun right? So a 5K on our anniversary should be a good time..
To make a long blog short, we did it. Jake was good about keeping me from freaking out in the herd of runners (all shapes and sizes), none particularly trendily dressed, and some people I was sure I would be able to finish in front of. It was a good situation. Then we get to the end. We had only been passed by one person who we passed back later so I was feeling pretty good despite the fact you could have spooned the air into a glass and drank it. This nice man falls in beside us and hangs out with us from 2.4 miles on, we are chatting it up. His watch is beeping because he is not running fast enough and my watch is beeping because I am running too fast. It was kinda funny. Anyway, he and Jake decide I can definitely catch the girl in front of me before we get across the finish line. She had been walking for a while around the 2.8 mile mark so she was looking tired. I laugh it off, but it keeps coming up and we are gaining on her. Let me establish that I have never, ever, ever run a race. I have never, ever been in "track", cross-country, nor did I really pay attention in PE. I have never, ever dealt with race strategy or any of that stuff. I barely even know anything about running form unless it has to do with pathology that I fix as a PT. So, we turn the corner to run up a hill to the finish line and all the sudden Jake and this guy (I seriously don't know his name) turn toward me and are yelling at me to catch this girl. Seriously like yelling all of this encouraging athletic running stuff like: "stride it out, finish strong, you can do it" and some other stuff that I didn't even understand. My original goal was just to finish in under 30 minutes, but suddenly my goal was to catch this girl and crush her spirit..for absolutely no reason except Jake and some guy were yelling at me to do it and I couldn't tell them no. If it had just been Jake I would have told him to stop smoking crack and there was no way it would happen, but that would have been rude to say to guy-with-no-name. My mother taught me to never be rude. You would have thought it was the damn Olympic time trials or I was running for 1 million dollars because this mildly athletic, newly 30 year old girl started running like she stole something. And I was gaining on the girl in front of me. Then she saw me coming.
I think we maybe had 75 yards let, mostly uphill to the blow-up arch finish line. Anyway, she sees me out of the corner of her eye-apparently I am not sneaky as she was wearing an ipod and still noticed...or maybe it was the two grown men screaming "GET HER" that she noticed. She was not amused by my attempt to catch her (she was wearing some sort of 3 layer short situation but otherwise seemed normal) and had apparently been involved in some sort of prior running program (at least Jr. High) as she seemed to find an additional gear just as I was catching her. She wasn't going to let me beat her...Dangit. So I dug deep inside and tried to find another gear but it turns out I was already in my additional gear and the only other gear option was reverse. Oh my god it was a duel to the finish. I would have shoved her over if I thought I could have gotten away (again, I am not aware of the "rules" of running) with it but suddenly everyone around the finish was watching us and cheering. It was one of the most bizarre things I have done in my adulthood and certainly the craziest in my recent foray into the 30's (it had only been 24 hours) battling the girl to the finish of a charity 5K. Anyway, she beat me by a couple yards. I did come in under 30 minutes which was really cool.
I really enjoyed the race experience and didn't throw up, cramp up, or come in last. Then Jake told me that people don't really race to the finish line at the end....Wow, so this girl and I had an impromptu foot race in front of 100 people. Wow again. I wonder if they will ever invite me back again. I like to bring new experiences to the people!
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